Guest guest Posted January 5, 2012 Report Share Posted January 5, 2012 Hi elly, So sorry you are going through this low right now. Sounds like you had a virus of some sort that is still running it’s course. Our immune systems take awhile to battle these dragons, but remember they can and will be slain. The extra worry of whether things will be allright adds to your illness. the truth is, that it will be allright somehow. On the trips, if you need to excuse yourself from an activity here or there and stay in the hotel and rest for a half a day, at least the other half will be better and you can be included without your family missing out. This is not for anyone to feel guilty that things cannot be perfect, it is about acceptance that this is just the way it is! We did not ask for it. There is not one to blame. You can’t do more than you already are to heal except maybe take stress breaks from guilting yourself and relaxing more. I’m sorry for your pain, in your joints and hips, knees and shoulder that is so real. It makes making decisions hard. Just treat yourself kind and never get on your self for being fat. I’m fat too and I haven’t always been. Lately I’ve been embracing my fat and it being part of me. If I would like to say good bye to some of it when I’m feeling better and in the mood to diet, then I will. Until then this is who I am and I better learn to accept it or live sad and depressed about it. Go slow with yourself. The time you have been sick can’t really have been that long, and it takes so much time to get well. I have issues with my lungs and so do many people with low immune function, and the lungs seem to get very hardly hit. They seem to be involved during any virus our cold and we just need be fortunate it doesn’t turn into pneumonia which happens easily. I put myself to bed when I’m sick, and get up a little here and there until I feel up to doing more and more. I nurture myself as if my Mom was alive to put me in bed and take care of me. In bed I get the rest in a comfortable environment, warm and cozy and I don’t find I’m making myself run around when I’m not ready. Needless to say I spend a lot of time in bed. Each day it is my home base and provided me comfort and healing. The humidifier is in my bedroom, my cpap machine, my bills to pay, my camera and computer laptop, so it’s all done from bed. Dressing oneself and grooming are a chore for me too on bad days, so I stay in bed and just do wash up baths, brush my teeth and cuddle with my doggie Lucy the boxer, 11 years old for comfort. If I have phone calls, all made from bed. The fax and copies are not to far from the bed and if that needs to happen, it’s easier. Some day maybe it will not be like this, but for now feeling this bad I can’t imagine myself being in the kitchen cooking up meals and cleaning house all day. no way. so just keep taking care of you and you will be ready for the trips when they come. If you are like me, I start a week ahead of time and wash the clothes I want to take and wear, and pack and put my meds and OTC meds in my suitcase and the last day or so if I’m living out of the suitcase, at least I’m ready to go. A trip is a big taxing event on the body. So go slow. The worst that can happen is you have to cancel and send your family anyway. I’ve had to do that and it hurts some, but I listen to my gut, which is from God and the answer about what is best to do always comes. Sending you healing angels to be with you and offer comfort to take your guilt and shame over the way your life is, and beautiful rainbows to replace any ugly pictures instead, and finally peace without guilt, and clarity. Take care my friend. gina From: elly cudney Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2012 4:20 AM To: stillsdisease Subject: RE:my attitude! Hello everyone,I know long time no hear or here!I am having a bad go of it right now and I just needed to vent a little,even though I feel like I don't deserve kind words.I am fat,it seems that even when I don't eat sweets my sugar is too high! No carbs either!I have a lingering cold,bronchitis sinus thing happening.I sleep with my mouth open (I know,pretty picture!) so my throat hurts most of the day!My Fibro is in full on mode,I don't have a muscle that doesn't hurt,especially my calves that feel like a charley horse much of the time. My joints really hurt especially my knees,hips and shoulders! I don't want to say anything to Bill,because he can't be here to help me from Monday to Friday and doesn't need the extra worry! He would be here 24/7 if he could,so I don't want to make him feel guilty.I also have a male relative who I'm not sure if he's trying to compliment me or give me hope,but he insists on saying almost every time I see him, " if I didn't know better,I'd think there wasn't anything wrong with you! " well, yesterday I had ,had enough,so I said, " gee,if I didn't know any better I'd think you were smart! " I am normally not a mean hateful person,but the filter in my brain obviously wasn't working! The sad thing is,I have so much to be grateful for,yet when I feel sick like this,nothing seems good!I become a selfish b---h. I hate myself, I need a good kick in the rear and I know it. I have fabulous trips coming up, thanks to my hubby and kids,am I looking forward to them? Yes and no! I don't want to go the way I look and I don't feel good most days and since we're going with others,I don't think I will be able to keep up as far as site seeing and if I say something I will ruin everyone elses good time.I have to get myself together fast,our first trip is coming up in just a month!I will leave it to God and hope for the best,but I really only want to stay in bed all day every day.I know I have depression,I just have no way to go and see someone,can't drive and nothing is open on the week-ends! We live in a beautiful vacation town on Lake Huron,but it is virtually a ghost town after Oct. to May. Also I have a question,I have a very deep raspy cough of no origin that doesn't come from my lungs.( had a CT scan) and saw a Pulminologist.It showed the nodes I knew were there,but no reason for cough that anyone can find.? Does anyone else have this problem? Thanks for reading,I will get through this somehow and be better I hope! love Elly p.s.I don't smoke, but did until Dec. 16, 2007 when I had one of two heart attacks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2012 Report Share Posted January 5, 2012 Hi elly, So sorry you are going through this low right now. Sounds like you had a virus of some sort that is still running it’s course. Our immune systems take awhile to battle these dragons, but remember they can and will be slain. The extra worry of whether things will be allright adds to your illness. the truth is, that it will be allright somehow. On the trips, if you need to excuse yourself from an activity here or there and stay in the hotel and rest for a half a day, at least the other half will be better and you can be included without your family missing out. This is not for anyone to feel guilty that things cannot be perfect, it is about acceptance that this is just the way it is! We did not ask for it. There is not one to blame. You can’t do more than you already are to heal except maybe take stress breaks from guilting yourself and relaxing more. I’m sorry for your pain, in your joints and hips, knees and shoulder that is so real. It makes making decisions hard. Just treat yourself kind and never get on your self for being fat. I’m fat too and I haven’t always been. Lately I’ve been embracing my fat and it being part of me. If I would like to say good bye to some of it when I’m feeling better and in the mood to diet, then I will. Until then this is who I am and I better learn to accept it or live sad and depressed about it. Go slow with yourself. The time you have been sick can’t really have been that long, and it takes so much time to get well. I have issues with my lungs and so do many people with low immune function, and the lungs seem to get very hardly hit. They seem to be involved during any virus our cold and we just need be fortunate it doesn’t turn into pneumonia which happens easily. I put myself to bed when I’m sick, and get up a little here and there until I feel up to doing more and more. I nurture myself as if my Mom was alive to put me in bed and take care of me. In bed I get the rest in a comfortable environment, warm and cozy and I don’t find I’m making myself run around when I’m not ready. Needless to say I spend a lot of time in bed. Each day it is my home base and provided me comfort and healing. The humidifier is in my bedroom, my cpap machine, my bills to pay, my camera and computer laptop, so it’s all done from bed. Dressing oneself and grooming are a chore for me too on bad days, so I stay in bed and just do wash up baths, brush my teeth and cuddle with my doggie Lucy the boxer, 11 years old for comfort. If I have phone calls, all made from bed. The fax and copies are not to far from the bed and if that needs to happen, it’s easier. Some day maybe it will not be like this, but for now feeling this bad I can’t imagine myself being in the kitchen cooking up meals and cleaning house all day. no way. so just keep taking care of you and you will be ready for the trips when they come. If you are like me, I start a week ahead of time and wash the clothes I want to take and wear, and pack and put my meds and OTC meds in my suitcase and the last day or so if I’m living out of the suitcase, at least I’m ready to go. A trip is a big taxing event on the body. So go slow. The worst that can happen is you have to cancel and send your family anyway. I’ve had to do that and it hurts some, but I listen to my gut, which is from God and the answer about what is best to do always comes. Sending you healing angels to be with you and offer comfort to take your guilt and shame over the way your life is, and beautiful rainbows to replace any ugly pictures instead, and finally peace without guilt, and clarity. Take care my friend. gina From: elly cudney Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2012 4:20 AM To: stillsdisease Subject: RE:my attitude! Hello everyone,I know long time no hear or here!I am having a bad go of it right now and I just needed to vent a little,even though I feel like I don't deserve kind words.I am fat,it seems that even when I don't eat sweets my sugar is too high! No carbs either!I have a lingering cold,bronchitis sinus thing happening.I sleep with my mouth open (I know,pretty picture!) so my throat hurts most of the day!My Fibro is in full on mode,I don't have a muscle that doesn't hurt,especially my calves that feel like a charley horse much of the time. My joints really hurt especially my knees,hips and shoulders! I don't want to say anything to Bill,because he can't be here to help me from Monday to Friday and doesn't need the extra worry! He would be here 24/7 if he could,so I don't want to make him feel guilty.I also have a male relative who I'm not sure if he's trying to compliment me or give me hope,but he insists on saying almost every time I see him, " if I didn't know better,I'd think there wasn't anything wrong with you! " well, yesterday I had ,had enough,so I said, " gee,if I didn't know any better I'd think you were smart! " I am normally not a mean hateful person,but the filter in my brain obviously wasn't working! The sad thing is,I have so much to be grateful for,yet when I feel sick like this,nothing seems good!I become a selfish b---h. I hate myself, I need a good kick in the rear and I know it. I have fabulous trips coming up, thanks to my hubby and kids,am I looking forward to them? Yes and no! I don't want to go the way I look and I don't feel good most days and since we're going with others,I don't think I will be able to keep up as far as site seeing and if I say something I will ruin everyone elses good time.I have to get myself together fast,our first trip is coming up in just a month!I will leave it to God and hope for the best,but I really only want to stay in bed all day every day.I know I have depression,I just have no way to go and see someone,can't drive and nothing is open on the week-ends! We live in a beautiful vacation town on Lake Huron,but it is virtually a ghost town after Oct. to May. Also I have a question,I have a very deep raspy cough of no origin that doesn't come from my lungs.( had a CT scan) and saw a Pulminologist.It showed the nodes I knew were there,but no reason for cough that anyone can find.? Does anyone else have this problem? Thanks for reading,I will get through this somehow and be better I hope! love Elly p.s.I don't smoke, but did until Dec. 16, 2007 when I had one of two heart attacks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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