Sandwich of doom

[Guest guest]

I am squashed between 2 things: fear of social gatherings (and the noise

therein) and annoyance in my house. Sounds immature and bratty to bring up, but

that's exactly how I'm feeling. I've had misophonia for years, and my main

triggers are loud " people noises " : talking, yelling, laughing at certain pitches

or volumes. It doesn't always break me down, but I can get pretty freaking

exhausted just going to the grocery store sometimes. I wish I wanted go to bars

and parties (I'm 21) but because of my issues you probably couldn't pay me to

go. I've drifted away from my high school friends cause they all went to college

like normal people and are loving it. I have one good friend (who is also at

school) and my boyfriend, thank god, lives nearby and is there for support. I

want to make more friends, but it's so uncomfortable for me to do even the

simplest things when around other people. I feel like I hate all the things

about life that I should love.

And on the other end of the sandwich is my grandfather. I live with my

grandparents (and my dog, who usually makes me feel better)but I can't stand to

hear/watch old people eat. I did not know this about myself until I moved here

last year. It's just...disgusting. I don't care how numb your face is or how

poor your depth perception is. NOT ALL FOOD NEEDS TO BE SUCKED OFF YOUR FORK.

DINNER DOES NOT NEED TO BE IN SURROUND FUCKING SOUND.

Yes, I do feel bad about thinking this way. But I've been beating myself up

about my issues for 17 years. At this point, I'm gonna let off a little steam in

any way I can, aside from aggrivated assault and setting the house on fire.