Re: Noise even in the country. Thoughts and Advice, please!

January 20, 2012

I believe this sounds like misophonia.I too have been bothered by basketballs, stereos, and people talking in other rooms.I have also had experiences very similar to yours -- where everything goes just fine for a time, a few months or even a year.And then someone moves in next door, or something changes and some new noise enters the environment.It leaves me infuriated and wishing, "why can't this one thing just stop? Then everything would be perfect! Why can't it be like it was before?"I've found that earplugs and noise machines can be very helpful, also listening to music.It doesn't

stop the problem completely, but it helps my obsession level and gives me back some "control."One of the problems with being somewhere that's *almost* perfect, is that the one imperfection can drive you absolutely nuts. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, January 20, 2012 10:10 AM Subject: Noise even in the country. Thoughts and Advice, please!

Hi! I don't know exactly what condition I have I get disturbed by eating sounds, but I can avoid those. I get furious around basketballs, stereos, motorcycles, people talking in other rooms or yards, car doors shutting, shoes clipping in stores, sounds I can't get away from.

I was tormented living in the city for the last few years. I moved to the country to get away from noise. It was peaceful a year. Now there's a new neighbor who sometimes likes to play his truck stereo in his garage. It's not crazy-loud, but he's clear across the street and I can hear it in my backyard. He's a younger guy, who occasionally comes and goes on a dirt bike at 1am or 7am. I wake up feeling violated.

The yards here are 1/2-1 acre wide. I am the only person it seems to bother. He's not in any lawful violation, and doesn't look like he'd be open to altering his lifestyle to my special needs.

I'm fearing summer noise based on his actions on the good-weather-days since he moved here in October. Talking to this guy is OUT of the question, as is anything legal. I will have to find ways to cope. It stinks to be afraid of Spring because of the noise of others.

Can anyone tell what specific condition this sounds like? Any other thoughts or suggestions on buffering the noise or treating the condition holistically are welcomed.

January 20, 2012

I use to use a noisy HEPA cleaner to drown out my ex husband's snoring. A window air conditioner might help too - the ones I remember were noisy To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >

Sent: Friday, January 20, 2012 1:55 PM Subject: Re: Noise even in the country. Thoughts and Advice, please!

I believe this sounds like misophonia.I too have been bothered by basketballs, stereos, and people talking in other rooms.I have also had experiences very similar to yours -- where everything goes just fine for a time, a few months or even a year.And then someone moves in next door, or something changes and some new noise enters the environment.It leaves me infuriated and wishing, "why can't this one thing just stop? Then everything would be perfect! Why can't it be like it was before?"I've found that earplugs and noise machines can be very helpful, also listening to

music.It doesn't

stop the problem completely, but it helps my obsession level and gives me back some "control."One of the problems with being somewhere that's *almost* perfect, is that the one imperfection can drive you absolutely nuts. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, January 20, 2012 10:10 AM Subject: Noise even in the country. Thoughts and Advice, please!

Hi! I don't know exactly what condition I have I get disturbed by eating sounds, but I can avoid those. I get furious around basketballs, stereos, motorcycles, people talking in other rooms or yards, car doors shutting, shoes clipping in stores, sounds I can't get away from.

I was tormented living in the city for the last few years. I moved to the country to get away from noise. It was peaceful a year. Now there's a new neighbor who sometimes likes to play his truck stereo in his garage. It's not crazy-loud, but he's clear across the street and I can hear it in my backyard. He's a younger guy, who occasionally comes and goes on a dirt bike at 1am or 7am. I wake up feeling violated.

The yards here are 1/2-1 acre wide. I am the only person it seems to bother. He's not in any lawful violation, and doesn't look like he'd be open to altering his lifestyle to my special needs.

I'm fearing summer noise based on his actions on the good-weather-days since he moved here in October. Talking to this guy is OUT of the question, as is anything legal. I will have to find ways to cope. It stinks to be afraid of Spring because of the noise of others.

Can anyone tell what specific condition this sounds like? Any other thoughts or suggestions on buffering the noise or treating the condition holistically are welcomed.

January 23, 2012

When I read those words, "I hate neighbor noise of any kind," I wondered if I had written that post myself. For as long as I can remember, (and that's a long time,) I have freaked out about throbbing stereos, barking dogs, revving mopeds, and even loud talking, especially for long periods of time late at night. Our homes are very close together, and our weather is often mild, so my windows are open most of the time. Otherwise, I get claustrophobia. Our houses are built of single redwood planks which offer little protection from outside noises, and to make it even more extreme, I live on a hill above a shopping center which has a small coffee shop that sets up a live band on random evenings. That band draws a crowd of caffeine fiends who scream and whoop into the

night. I can't relax in my own home, never mind sleep, then my stomach begins to ache as if I had consumed poison... The anger burns me to the core. I'm just venting... Sorry... I've lived in many different houses in 3 different states, and it's always the same. For years I've been fighting the battle by asking people nicely to keep the noise down. They either get mad, or just stare in disbelief and think I'm some sort of psycho. People are going to continue to slurp, grunt, sneeze, play music, race cars, etc. Calling the police is like spraying a mist on a raging fire. The police don't really cre. They have more pressing issues to deal with. I'm looking at land in the country, but I also ran across some throwbacks who live in the middle of nowhere so they can make as much noise as

they want... I have noise cancelling earphones. They're great for cancelling the noise of the airplane engines during flights, but that's about it. I also have 2 ear infections from excessive use of earplugs. Yoga, gardening, and pets are my salvation. So is this forum. Thanks for listening.

January 24, 2012

Something that I would like to make clear right now is that NOBODY, whether they

bother you or not is a MORON. It is not a stranger's responsibility to turn

their music down because they are unaware of a condition that you have.

It is your responsibility as a human being to treat others as you would like to

be treated. Would you like it if someone judged you and labeled you as a moron

simply because you were minding your own business, enjoying your daily life?

I'm disappointed to hear that some of us give complete strangers the bird

because they are unaware of a rare condition that just recently has begun to be

researched. How can you expect someone to even WANT to acommodate your

condition if you treat them like that??

The problem we all share is OUR problem, and our loved ones support us and

accommodate us accordingly however to call people you don't even know names and

judge them because of YOUR problem is completely unfair.

We undergo judgements everyday by people who just don't get it or think that we

should simply " just get over it " . To be judgemental ourselves against people

without this issue shocks saddens me.

Now I have to wonder, why is talking to this guy out of the question?

In my personal experience, being up front with someone, letting them know " It's

not you, it's me " and asking them to help you cope by (in my case) eating

quieter, or to not get offended if I run out of the room to finish a meal. Just

letting them know that you have a problem that you are dealing with and that

something they are innocently doing are triggering these reactions in you.

In fact, even in real time, in my case a friend was eating next to me. I turned

to him and I said " Oh man... I'm sorry but you just started eating and a huge

wave of anxiety just came over me, you aren't doing anything wrong but my god i

can't deal with listening to you eat " He reacted kindly, he said " oops!

forgot! " and got up and ate somewhere else.

Now in that example, he was a friend who knew that the sounds of others eating

drive me insane. Complete strangers are less understanding, but approaching them

with kindness and an explanation of what happens to you when your triggers occur

will give you much better results than holding it in, getting angry at them, or

even worse, judging them.

> >

> > Hi! I don't know exactly what condition I have I get disturbed by eating

sounds, but I can avoid those. I get furious around basketballs, stereos,

motorcycles, people talking in other rooms or yards, car doors shutting, shoes

clipping in stores, sounds I can't get away from.

> >

> > I was tormented living in the city for the last few years. I moved to the

country to get away from noise. It was peaceful a year. Now there's a new

neighbor who sometimes likes to play his truck stereo in his garage. It's not

crazy-loud, but he's clear across the street and I can hear it in my backyard.

He's a younger guy, who occasionally comes and goes on a dirt bike at 1am or

7am. I wake up feeling violated.

> >

> > The yards here are 1/2-1 acre wide. I am the only person it seems to bother.

He's not in any lawful violation, and doesn't look like he'd be open to altering

his lifestyle to my special needs.

> >

> > I'm fearing summer noise based on his actions on the good-weather-days

since he moved here in October. Talking to this guy is OUT of the question, as

is anything legal. I will have to find ways to cope. It stinks to be afraid of

Spring because of the noise of others.

> >

> > Can anyone tell what specific condition this sounds like? Any other

thoughts or suggestions on buffering the noise or treating the condition

holistically are welcomed.

> >

>

February 6, 2012

I'm the OP. I appreciated hearing others who understand my problem. I could

relate to your frustrations as well. The band at the coffee shop would put me in

the psych ward.

Yelling, blasting a stereo for the whole block to hear, or revving an engine at

sleeping hours are downright rude imho. It has been my experience, that people

who are grossly inconsiderate, don't care how anyone else feels. It has been

my repeated experience, that despite kind, respectful, tactful requests, almost

every neighbor I've ever addressed about noise resented it and did the complete

opposite out of spite.

Anyway! I'm trying to set up my house for the spring, planting as many bushes

and shrubs to absorb sound and prevent me from seeing the neighbor across the

street who disturbs me. It seems I have a trigger with the visual too. Does

anyone else have that?

February 6, 2012

I'm the OP. I appreciated hearing others who understand my problem. I could

relate to your frustrations as well. The band at the coffee shop would put me in

the psych ward.

Yelling, blasting a stereo for the whole block to hear, or revving an engine at

sleeping hours are downright rude imho. It has been my experience, that people

who are grossly inconsiderate, don't care how anyone else feels. It has been

my repeated experience, that despite kind, respectful, tactful requests, almost

every neighbor I've ever addressed about noise resented it and did the complete

opposite out of spite.

Anyway! I'm trying to set up my house for the spring, planting as many bushes

and shrubs to absorb sound and prevent me from seeing the neighbor across the

street who disturbs me. It seems I have a trigger with the visual too. Does

anyone else have that?

February 7, 2012

Yes, I have a few visual triggers too. And I share others feeling about sounds that are rude vs. sounds that people can't help making. I tend to look at it as necessary vs. unnecessary. A few years ago, there was major construction on the outside of my apartment building that was really noisy. I was able to work through it -- I work freelance at home. But when the workers would play their radio during times that would have been quiet otherwise, I could not concentrate. I could not get the workers to turn it off and the management of my building were no help. They were incredulous that I did not

complain about all the banging and sawing, but complained about a radio that was "not that loud." It was on the scaffold, right outside my window.

No one would take me seriously, including tenant advocates here in SF. We have a strict noise ordinance here but there is an exception for "necessary" construction noise. No one seemed to understand me when I would say that the radio was not necessary. Eventually I developed a hostile relationship with those workers because I would resort to unplugging their power when they were up on the scaffold. It was really awful.On an up-note, my upstairs neighbor just moved out. I was worried that the owners might install a hardwood floor when they renovated his apartment because they have been doing this, albeit thus far only in the two-bedroom units, while mine is a studio. Our building is wood frame and already poorly insulated for sound, and they have not been installing sound insulation beneath the new flooring. I began to write a letter warning that I would take action if they were to do take out the

carpeting above me. Then I suddenly decided to do some research and found out that rubber sound insulation is effective, not really expensive and easy to install. So, I called up management and offered to pay for it myself -- about $1,000. The manager has to check with the owner but he sounded very positive about the idea, and suggested installing sound insulation in my walls as well -- though I'm not as willing to pay for this just yet. I'm feeling pretty hopeful about this.

February 7, 2012

Yes, I have a few visual triggers too. And I share others feeling about sounds that are rude vs. sounds that people can't help making. I tend to look at it as necessary vs. unnecessary. A few years ago, there was major construction on the outside of my apartment building that was really noisy. I was able to work through it -- I work freelance at home. But when the workers would play their radio during times that would have been quiet otherwise, I could not concentrate. I could not get the workers to turn it off and the management of my building were no help. They were incredulous that I did not

complain about all the banging and sawing, but complained about a radio that was "not that loud." It was on the scaffold, right outside my window.

No one would take me seriously, including tenant advocates here in SF. We have a strict noise ordinance here but there is an exception for "necessary" construction noise. No one seemed to understand me when I would say that the radio was not necessary. Eventually I developed a hostile relationship with those workers because I would resort to unplugging their power when they were up on the scaffold. It was really awful.On an up-note, my upstairs neighbor just moved out. I was worried that the owners might install a hardwood floor when they renovated his apartment because they have been doing this, albeit thus far only in the two-bedroom units, while mine is a studio. Our building is wood frame and already poorly insulated for sound, and they have not been installing sound insulation beneath the new flooring. I began to write a letter warning that I would take action if they were to do take out the

carpeting above me. Then I suddenly decided to do some research and found out that rubber sound insulation is effective, not really expensive and easy to install. So, I called up management and offered to pay for it myself -- about $1,000. The manager has to check with the owner but he sounded very positive about the idea, and suggested installing sound insulation in my walls as well -- though I'm not as willing to pay for this just yet. I'm feeling pretty hopeful about this.

February 7, 2012

Yes, I have a few visual triggers too. And I share others feeling about sounds that are rude vs. sounds that people can't help making. I tend to look at it as necessary vs. unnecessary. A few years ago, there was major construction on the outside of my apartment building that was really noisy. I was able to work through it -- I work freelance at home. But when the workers would play their radio during times that would have been quiet otherwise, I could not concentrate. I could not get the workers to turn it off and the management of my building were no help. They were incredulous that I did not

complain about all the banging and sawing, but complained about a radio that was "not that loud." It was on the scaffold, right outside my window.

No one would take me seriously, including tenant advocates here in SF. We have a strict noise ordinance here but there is an exception for "necessary" construction noise. No one seemed to understand me when I would say that the radio was not necessary. Eventually I developed a hostile relationship with those workers because I would resort to unplugging their power when they were up on the scaffold. It was really awful.On an up-note, my upstairs neighbor just moved out. I was worried that the owners might install a hardwood floor when they renovated his apartment because they have been doing this, albeit thus far only in the two-bedroom units, while mine is a studio. Our building is wood frame and already poorly insulated for sound, and they have not been installing sound insulation beneath the new flooring. I began to write a letter warning that I would take action if they were to do take out the

carpeting above me. Then I suddenly decided to do some research and found out that rubber sound insulation is effective, not really expensive and easy to install. So, I called up management and offered to pay for it myself -- about $1,000. The manager has to check with the owner but he sounded very positive about the idea, and suggested installing sound insulation in my walls as well -- though I'm not as willing to pay for this just yet. I'm feeling pretty hopeful about this.

February 7, 2012

ellawki,

Can you explain more about the suggestions in " How to Win Friends and Influence

People " ?

What are some of the suggestions and how do you employ them to get offenders to

be quiet?

>

> I agree that there is something to the notion of. While it still affects

> me to hear, the anger subsides at a much faster pace after hearing fire

> truck sirens, babies crying, dogs barking (all sounds from things that

> can't help it). It's the people that do things that I feel are not being

> considerate to the others around them that affect my anger for greater

> spans of time. Which is why, for a long time before I came across the

> term Misophonia, I believed that " I " was the wronged party in the

> equation, unable to appropriately handle the situation. Why could I

> handle a truck siren better than a car alarm going off for 10 minutes?

> On the subways before I got my noise cancellation headphones and

> downloaded a white noise app for my iphone (Relax Melodies

> <http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/relax-melodies-a-white-noise/id314498713\

> ?mt=8> is the one I found the most useful ... it's free) , I used to

> close my eyes and try to image the nail clipping noise or gum snapping

> as a less offensive action, like a child dropping a small toy on the

> ground. On a good day this would work. On a bad day it did nothing

>

> To some extend this holds true for radio blasting. If you haven't

> gathered by now, I live in a big city, so I've had my share of

> inconsiderate neighbors. But the same phenomenon holds true. If my

> roommate, whom I love, is blasting her music, the anger Misophonia

> produces lasts for short periods of time, if at all. It's because I can

> go over there and talk to her and the problem gets resolved. I know she

> is considerate and wants me to not be in pain. It's because, in a sense,

> I still have control over the sound. Bass blasting at a concert affects

> me little, because it was my choice to be there and I can leave at any

> time. Hearing someone chew in my home, while still triggering the

> Misophonia, is less offensive than hearing someone eat on the subway.

>

> I understand not being able to talk to a certain type of person, the

> ones that blast there music on a daily basis (I've had to move because

> of the interactions with particular neighbors). There was one book I

> read, and recommend to those that haven't, that helped me deal with

> talking to people. " How to Win Friends and Influence People " . At first I

> was against the suggestions in the book, because they seemed kind of

> manipulative and I'm not that person. But I started using them to talk

> to the Misophonia offenders, and it worked in certain situations, so I

> got over my guilt. I can't say it always works, because there will

> always be levels of " morons " out there that are too self absorbed. But

> it helps with the people that are genuinely unaware that they are

> causing harm.

>

> Other than that.. Bose QuiteComfort 15's have saved my insanity on a

> daily basis. Alternating between those and noise cancellation earbud

> headphone (to alleviate the sore ears) makes my life bearable.

>

February 7, 2012