Re: I need to fix this

January 31, 2012

Hi Corey,

Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time particularly with relationships. I think many of us will be able to relate to this. Once you have got to know someone and can tell them about your condition, I think it helps to see it from their point of view. When we get angry they probably think you are saying there is something wrong with them, when really it's not them, it's about how our body responds to something they are doing.

I have managed to avoid major problems in my long-term relationship by agreeing rules like - we always have music/radio on whilst eating together, also I try REALLY hard when triggered by him to say "You are eating fine: it's not you, but just to let you know your eating is just triggering me really badly today" rather than get angry with him. Don't get me wrong, we're not perfect! About once a week he will catch me screwing up my face in anger or something and just grab his plate and go in another room to get away from my irritation. But I always apologise afterwards.

I can't give any advice on what fixes this thing - but I'm going to commit to trying CBT to see if it works. My b/f is really happy with this as he wants to see me try to get myself fixed up. I'll post here if I have positive results or anything that might help others.

Noticed Corey's message went into my Spam, quite a lot of messages seem to do this. That might be why some folks aren't getting many responses?

take care

Soo

From: coreyb

Sent: Sunday, January 29, 2012 11:53 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: [bulk] I need to fix this

This is the first time posting, but I've suffered with misophonia for over a decade. I won't list the "triggers" because I found i start adapting to other triggers when I read about them. Another relationship as ended because of this problem. It gets to be a point where whomever I am with just can't deal with the constant nit-picking, nagging, irritability, anger, .....ect. It's just so hard, you know rationally what you're feeling is ridiculous, but you can't stop and the hopelessness begins. I feel like until I can manage this, I am essentially doomed for failed relationships and an existence of isolation. It seems as though the only thing that can dull the triggers is alcohol, but that in turns leads to non-effective sleep, which leads to worse irritability the next day and it becomes a cyclical prison. Things I've tried, anti-depressants (MAOI inhibitor), Raw foods diet, magnesium, B12, lots of exercise, I am reading mindful meditation so that might help down the line, does anyone have any other ideas? Anyone try Biofeedback? Please let me know, thanks.

February 1, 2012

I think what works best is complete honesty. Own the problem and ask for.

Compashion. Try nt to get overly tiered because triggers are worse when you

don't get enough sleep, believe me, I have terrible insomnia and the longer I

stay awake the more intense sounds become. Instead of nagging a signifigant

other, excuse yourself from the room and do something you find relaxing. Make

trade offs like " If you stop making that sound then I will do " x " for you. You

are right not to learn of others triggers. And if you feel a new one coming on,

try to distract you6rself and put it out of your mind. Be polite when explaining

your condition, if they chose to do it anyway then they are rude thoughtless

people. Exp: It is legal to smoke in casinos, But I. Know most people don't

smoke these days, so I ask the people next to me if they mind if I smoke. If

they mind, I don't do it. Common curtisy!

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February 2, 2012

Hello,

I don't have solutions. Yet. I hear " neurofeedback " may be effective. On a

hopeful note, I can't believe it but I actually found a partner who accepts

me--as is--and now we're married. He doesn't get this affliction of mine, but he

accepts it. I love him for that. I can't always handle his chewing, but...

Actually, I would tell guys on the first date not to chew gum because " I have a

psychotic aversion to it " . In fact, on me and my now husband's first date, he

dared to put a piece of gum in his mouth!!! I instantly objected (and then

batted my eyes).

I've noticed too that I'll catch triggers from what I read. Right now, I'm

learning that I have a new one. Not a " contagious " one, just a new one, and it's

right at home and driving me mad!!! I'm sure my darling husband is getting

frustrated with my frustration, but hey, we both have our less desirable quirks.

I'm sure alcohol would help temporarily. Funnily enough, I didn't have as many

frequent or ferocious responses to triggers when I was an active alcoholic and

addict. Go figure. But in my four years of sobriety, I can hear ev-er-y-thing.

It was my sponsor who suggested neurofeedback to me, which she says helped her

with some PTSD triggers. It's self-abusive how slow I am on finding solutions.

Here is the website on neurofeedback I haven't looked at yet:

www.eeginfo.com

One thing I learn in AA is that catharsis and community are integral to healing.

My joining this group is an attempt to find those two c's. I hope they are a

help to you and I hope we both find solutions soon.

>

> This is the first time posting, but I've suffered with misophonia for over a

decade. I won't list the " triggers " because I found i start adapting to other

triggers when I read about them.

>

> Another relationship as ended because of this problem. It gets to be a point

where whomever I am with just can't deal with the constant nit-picking, nagging,

irritability, anger, .....ect. It's just so hard, you know rationally what

you're feeling is ridiculous, but you can't stop and the hopelessness begins.

>

> I feel like until I can manage this, I am essentially doomed for failed

relationships and an existence of isolation. It seems as though the only thing

that can dull the triggers is alcohol, but that in turns leads to non-effective

sleep, which leads to worse irritability the next day and it becomes a cyclical

prison.

>

> Things I've tried, anti-depressants (MAOI inhibitor), Raw foods diet,

magnesium, B12, lots of exercise, I am reading mindful meditation so that might

help down the line, does anyone have any other ideas? Anyone try Biofeedback?

Please let me know, thanks.

>

February 2, 2012