Guest guest Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 Rita, I'm right there with you. Wish I lived closer to my kids, and alone, etc. Marriage is hard, and we'd only been married a few years when I got too sick to work. He still expects dinner on the table, but we're working away from that. He actually said at one point that he PROVIDES for me, like that's all he could do. I'm doing the supplements, alternative stuff too, and when my LTD from insurance runs out, that will have to go. I feel like I have a timeframe of about a year to continue the whole array of supplements, etc. Hubby and I are in therapy. It took months of begging before we got there. I had been for a short time on my own. I go weekly, he goes twice a month. That's all he can commit to. He is starting to grieve over his life plans that have gone kaput. We are trying to build some kind of life together, but it is hard and often requires more energy than anyone healthy can ever grasp. My therapist just encouraged me this week to try going back to church. I'm considering just a daily Mass, cause those are quick, and not so overwhelming. Catholic, yes. I do miss it, and did have alot of guilt over not doing everything " by the book " . I'm trying to remember that God loves us unconditionally. Thats what I hope to reinforce by attending church again. > > > > Hi Toni, > > Thanks for your reply, and for understanding. I just realized that I got mixed up and replied to your ideas about advice in my previous post,a reply to . Oh well, I'm sure if you're on this loop you'll read that one also. > > Sometimes I wish I lived alone in a tiny house with an easy care yard, close to my kids and grandsons. That way I wouldn't feel obligated to anyone but myself. I know that's escapist thinking though, and I actually have never liked living alone. But, I don't feel that I have much to give to my husband these days, and I'm sure it's difficult for him coming in second, third or fourth to me meeting my own physical, mental and spiritual needs just to survive. He really does more than " his share " around here, but we marry for better or worse, right? Besides, his expectations are part of the reason I'm burnt out. A small part, but part. I just have to refuse to feel guilty about not meeting his expectations, or I can get all depressed about it and fantasize about going out and getting a job (which I know i really can't do anymore). Also, I feel guilty about the money we spend for my appointments and supplements, as insurance doesn't cover anything natural, and conventional medicine doesn't have any viable answers for me, if they even admit there's a problem. > > I'm thinking about going to a counselor for my sake anyway, and maybe he'd go along to a few appointments. There are lots of things we don't talk about. My first husband had a disability, so I've been on the other side too, and know how hard it is to talk about problems with someone who already doesn't feel good. > > Well, thanks again for listening. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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