Re: DARK DAY HELLO MARGARET/RECOVERY NETTY

[Guest guest]

Jo,

You misunderstood me a great deal when you took my talking about " not having a

choice " as meaning that nothing can get better. I thought I was absolutely

clear that I was talking about the stuff that we do not have any control over,

the stuff that makes you say things to yourself like " I want to quit " or " I

can't take any more of this. " I certainly DO NOT think that things are written

in stone and I have done much over the years to make my health better.

You also misunderstood me to say that we control others when I was saying that

our behavior impacts the way that others feel, especially when we are miserable.

Now you misunderstand me again. My surgeon was just in my opened up shoulder in

January and saw the condition of everything. It was torn to shreds in 1977 -

that is over 30 years ago - and has deteriorated since. Each surgery adds to

that. My recent surgery was a revision joint replacement and if you google that

you will find that revisions are significantly more difficult to recover from

than joint replacements due to a number of factors.

There are things that are FACTS in medicine - at least a few. One is that I

have very little bone on the socket side. Another is that my soft tissues are

in very poor condition. This doc did not tell me immediately that my lymph

system would never recover. Initially I was told that it might last several

months. Since it has lasted this long and hasn't gotten better, the doc told me

that I MAY have swelling problems for the rest of my life. He does nearly 400

surgeries a year - all joint replacements - and has been doing it for decades.

I am doing all that I can for my lymph system as well as my general recovery and

have hopes that the swelling will get better but I am not going to ignore the

doctor that I travel a long way to see.

The doctor has also told me and my husband several times and very emphatically

that I can never have another replacement. He said that I have to limit my

activities to keep from wearing out the plastic socket side prosthesis and also

to avoid any activity where there is a risk of impact because if I break my

shoulder, they won't be able to fix it. (The prosthesis on both sides are

cemented in and can't be taken out without significant loss of bone. I would

not have enough bone left to attach a prosthesis to.) I had another woman on a

different support group tell me that since she plays competitive tennis after a

replacement (her first due to arthritis) that I can also play tennis when I

recover and that if I had the right spirit I would jump right back on a

motorcycle (the source of my original injury). Maybe you would also call that

" fighting " but I call it listening to a doctor give me the best advice he can.

You must be from a different planet than I am. I just don't think we speak the

same language. You say " Am i better off for constantly using my mind to lift me

up over some aspect of the illness? " and yet take what I said about thinking

differently to get out of a dark spot as being intentionally unhelpful. I just

don't get it but I am not going to try to give you advice again, that is for

sure.

Thanks anyway though,

Margie

>

>

> Hello Margaret. I think you perhaps have misunderstood my polnt re taking a

stance against adopting the view that all is hopeless and it is set in stone you

can only expect to get worse or stay as you are. In my post to you i was

encouraging you to counter and reject being pigeon holed into a category of

never being able to improve something re your health. There was nothing in what

i said telling you your doctors arent any good. I WAS saying i encourage anyone

to akways hold hope of the ability to change SOMETHING for the better. I believe

the best of the best cream of the crop drs are only as good as their expertise,

knowledge wisdom coupled with how they utilize all of that. If a dr with top

notch credentials and reputation makes a mistake or approaches anyone with

advice to develop a mindset to be rooted in getting worse or never having

anything better, is that still a good dr? Thats for you to decide.

[Guest guest]

Jo,

You misunderstood me a great deal when you took my talking about " not having a

choice " as meaning that nothing can get better. I thought I was absolutely

clear that I was talking about the stuff that we do not have any control over,

the stuff that makes you say things to yourself like " I want to quit " or " I

can't take any more of this. " I certainly DO NOT think that things are written

in stone and I have done much over the years to make my health better.

You also misunderstood me to say that we control others when I was saying that

our behavior impacts the way that others feel, especially when we are miserable.

Now you misunderstand me again. My surgeon was just in my opened up shoulder in

January and saw the condition of everything. It was torn to shreds in 1977 -

that is over 30 years ago - and has deteriorated since. Each surgery adds to

that. My recent surgery was a revision joint replacement and if you google that

you will find that revisions are significantly more difficult to recover from

than joint replacements due to a number of factors.

There are things that are FACTS in medicine - at least a few. One is that I

have very little bone on the socket side. Another is that my soft tissues are

in very poor condition. This doc did not tell me immediately that my lymph

system would never recover. Initially I was told that it might last several

months. Since it has lasted this long and hasn't gotten better, the doc told me

that I MAY have swelling problems for the rest of my life. He does nearly 400

surgeries a year - all joint replacements - and has been doing it for decades.

I am doing all that I can for my lymph system as well as my general recovery and

have hopes that the swelling will get better but I am not going to ignore the

doctor that I travel a long way to see.

The doctor has also told me and my husband several times and very emphatically

that I can never have another replacement. He said that I have to limit my

activities to keep from wearing out the plastic socket side prosthesis and also

to avoid any activity where there is a risk of impact because if I break my

shoulder, they won't be able to fix it. (The prosthesis on both sides are

cemented in and can't be taken out without significant loss of bone. I would

not have enough bone left to attach a prosthesis to.) I had another woman on a

different support group tell me that since she plays competitive tennis after a

replacement (her first due to arthritis) that I can also play tennis when I

recover and that if I had the right spirit I would jump right back on a

motorcycle (the source of my original injury). Maybe you would also call that

" fighting " but I call it listening to a doctor give me the best advice he can.

You must be from a different planet than I am. I just don't think we speak the

same language. You say " Am i better off for constantly using my mind to lift me

up over some aspect of the illness? " and yet take what I said about thinking

differently to get out of a dark spot as being intentionally unhelpful. I just

don't get it but I am not going to try to give you advice again, that is for

sure.

Thanks anyway though,

Margie

>

>

> Hello Margaret. I think you perhaps have misunderstood my polnt re taking a

stance against adopting the view that all is hopeless and it is set in stone you

can only expect to get worse or stay as you are. In my post to you i was

encouraging you to counter and reject being pigeon holed into a category of

never being able to improve something re your health. There was nothing in what

i said telling you your doctors arent any good. I WAS saying i encourage anyone

to akways hold hope of the ability to change SOMETHING for the better. I believe

the best of the best cream of the crop drs are only as good as their expertise,

knowledge wisdom coupled with how they utilize all of that. If a dr with top

notch credentials and reputation makes a mistake or approaches anyone with

advice to develop a mindset to be rooted in getting worse or never having

anything better, is that still a good dr? Thats for you to decide.