RE: reaction to weak or insecure people - from Audrey's posting

February 10, 2012

It's great that your son has such an understanding dad! It is an interesting question about this reaction to weakness. It doesn't seem confined to those of us with Misophonia, but maybe it's worse for us. When it comes to common triggers, I don't notice myself having a stronger reaction to people who seem weaker. (Though sometimes the triggers -- like sniffling -- make me see the person as weak or empty.) But I definitely have, let's say, weakness triggers, like young women for whom everything they say is a question? And I am very impatient with people who are repetitive or take forever to get to the point. I feel as if they are stealing my time.Subject: RE: reaction to weak or insecure people - from Audrey's postingTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Friday, February 10, 2012, 6:26 PM

Audrey, that actually helps me to find out that you do the same or similar thing my son does. Donâ€™t worry about sounding judgemental or critical â€“ especially here where everyone gets to vent and is just trying to figure this thing out. For my son, I know how much he suffers and I try to do what I can to make life easier for him, and sometimes his requests end up making me aware of things like this that I didnâ€™t realize before and can improve. As far as how I feel when my son gets angry at me, most of the time I understand. With your mom, if you havenâ€™t already, it might help both of you feel better if you give her as much information on this as you can and also let her know that, although you try, itâ€™s almost impossible to control the instant reactions to triggers and that you wish those reactions didnâ€™t end up making her feel bad

because you really donâ€™t want her to feel bad, you just want a cure or better treatment to be found â€“ or something like that. Hugs to you. From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of audrey rossowSent: Friday, February 10, 2012 5:12 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: reaction to weak or insecure people - from Audrey's posting WOW- what you described is me with my mother- THANK YOU for writing that!! I would do the same thing to my mom- she rarely answers quickly, and almost never give a succinct "yes" or "no" answer. The list of my mom's words, sounds, and behaviors that bother me is unfortunately endless- but I can tell you that if she drawed out her words like you describe it would make me angry too. I always secretly wished that she were more confident and deliberate in her way of being, though I realize how judgemental and critical that sounds. But if that were the case I wouldn't be so angered by her. I'm so sorry to hear that you're at the other end of this- I always feel so bad for my mom when she notices my anger. Thanks again for writing that, it was the first time I heard anyone else complain of that same issue. Maybe

there is something to this. We'll see what others have to say. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, February 10, 2012 4:39 PMSubject: RE: reaction to weak or insecure people - from Audrey's posting My son who has misophonia is that way when Iâ€™m speaking. He gets upset if I say â€œyeahâ€ softly instead of â€œyesâ€ strongly, if I speak too slowly, and also tells me not to draw out my vowels (like â€œweâ€¦.elâ€ instead of â€œwellâ€, which I tend to do if Iâ€™m still thinking about the rest of what Iâ€™m about to say). This has actually ended up training me to speak more succinctly and think more before I even start to speak, and itâ€™s flowed over into how I speak at work so I come across as having more confidence. Anyway, the point is that I probably was coming across to him as weak before. From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of tarabeconSent: Friday, February 10, 2012 1:30 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: reaction to weak or insecure people - from Audrey's posting I would like to follow up on this thread a bit. Do others tend to react negatively to the

conduct, words, habits of people they do not view as STRONG?It struck me that originally this condition was categorised as "soft sound" sensitivity. Is there something about Soft, or Weak, or too Gentle that triggers people - not only in the sounds they make but in their attitudes, mannerisms etc.?Please let me know.With thanks,

February 11, 2012

Sorry about that. I'll try to use the term "parent" in the future if there is any ambiguity. Funny thing is, I did not even recognize the ambiguity because all the Chris's I've known as friends have been male -- but even as I type this, there is a female radio host talking who is named Chris!Subject: RE: reaction to weak or insecure people - from Audrey's

postingTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Friday, February 10, 2012, 6:26 PM Audrey, that actually helps me to find out that you do the same or similar thing my son does. Donâ€™t worry about sounding judgemental or critical â€“ especially here where everyone gets to vent and is just trying to figure this thing out. For my son, I know how much he suffers and I try to do what I can to make life easier for him, and sometimes his requests end up making me aware of things like this that I didnâ€™t realize before and can improve. As far as how I feel when my son gets angry at me, most of the time I understand. With your mom, if you

havenâ€™t already, it might help both of you feel better if you give her as much information on this as you can and also let her know that, although you try, itâ€™s almost impossible to control the instant reactions to triggers and that you wish those reactions didnâ€™t end up making her feel bad because you really donâ€™t want her to feel bad, you just want a cure or better treatment to be found â€“ or something like that. Hugs to you. From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of audrey rossowSent: Friday, February 10, 2012 5:12 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: reaction to weak or insecure people - from Audrey's

posting WOW- what you described is me with my mother- THANK YOU for writing that!! I would do the same thing to my mom- she rarely answers quickly, and almost never give a succinct "yes" or "no" answer. The list of my mom's words, sounds, and behaviors that bother me is unfortunately endless- but I can tell you that if she drawed out her words like you describe it would make me angry too. I always secretly wished that she were more confident and deliberate in her way of being, though I realize how judgemental and critical that sounds. But if that were the case I wouldn't be so angered by her. I'm so sorry to hear that

you're at the other end of this- I always feel so bad for my mom when she notices my anger. Thanks again for writing that, it was the first time I heard anyone else complain of that same issue. Maybe there is something to this. We'll see what others have to say. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, February 10, 2012 4:39 PMSubject: RE: reaction to weak or insecure people - from Audrey's posting My son who has misophonia is that way when Iâ€™m speaking. He gets upset if I say â€œyeahâ€ softly instead of â€œyesâ€ strongly, if I speak too slowly, and also tells me not to draw out my vowels (like â€œweâ€¦.elâ€ instead of â€œwellâ€, which I tend to do if Iâ€™m still thinking about the rest of what Iâ€™m about to say). This has actually ended up training me to speak more succinctly and think more before I even start to speak, and itâ€™s flowed over into how I speak at work so I come across as having more confidence. Anyway, the point is that I probably was coming across to him as weak before. From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of tarabeconSent: Friday, February 10, 2012 1:30 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: reaction to weak or insecure people - from Audrey's posting I would like to follow up on this thread a bit. Do others tend to react negatively to the conduct, words, habits of people they do not view as STRONG?It struck me that originally this condition was categorised as "soft sound" sensitivity. Is there something about Soft, or Weak, or too Gentle that triggers people - not only in the sounds they make but in their attitudes, mannerisms etc.?Please let me know.With thanks,

February 11, 2012

I've felt that way too. I'd just lose my patience with too softly spoken people.

I just peaked over at the " Vocal " list of trigger stimuli on www.misophonia.info

.... and it's there! It's incredible how many triggers there can be. It's almost

like I can feel sounds or as though sounds can be registered as emotions. EEK!

>

> My son who has misophonia is that way when I'm speaking. He gets upset

> if I say " yeah " softly instead of " yes " strongly, if I speak too slowly,

> and also tells me not to draw out my vowels (like " we....el " instead of

> " well " , which I tend to do if I'm still thinking about the rest of what

> I'm about to say). This has actually ended up training me to speak more

> succinctly and think more before I even start to speak, and it's flowed

> over into how I speak at work so I come across as having more

> confidence. Anyway, the point is that I probably was coming across to

> him as weak before.

>

> From: Soundsensitivity

> [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of tarabecon

> Sent: Friday, February 10, 2012 1:30 PM

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Subject: reaction to weak or insecure people - from

> Audrey's posting

>

> I would like to follow up on this thread a bit. Do others tend to react

> negatively to the conduct, words, habits of people they do not view as

> STRONG?

> It struck me that originally this condition was categorised as " soft

> sound " sensitivity. Is there something about Soft, or Weak, or too

> Gentle that triggers people - not only in the sounds they make but in

> their attitudes, mannerisms etc.?

> Please let me know.

> With thanks,

>

February 11, 2012