Guest guest Posted March 26, 2012 Report Share Posted March 26, 2012 Angie, That is so vivid and I could feel every word. Thank you for sharing with us. To: Stillsdisease From: angievejar@... Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2012 16:31:46 -0700 Subject: Walk in my shoes I was feeling horrible the other night and started writing because although I have someone who will listen I don't want to complain all of the time. This is a just something I threw together and a little bit of my life with Still's. Walk in my shoes I remember the days Stuck in my old ways I can see the rays of the sun There goes all the fun Another day of work Customer service Oh the life of a clerk I would sit there and think, why me? Why couldn't someone just hand me a deed Growing up we were poor It made me strive for more Then one day my world came crashing down Fever struck while I was out of town It was bad, the worst I've ever had I tried to deal The pain was unreal Emergency room here I come The docs looked at me as if I am dumb 105 fever, lips chapped, body aches and chills Looks like this is the real deal " Are you drunk " they asked No I'm not but give me a bottle so I can bask Take away the pain I am feeling My health is ailing So they ran a few tests Stuck a needle in my spine There I waited and after some time Doc came in and said " good news you're not drunk " All the while I'm thinking " he is such a punk " " We are gonna admit you, got to find out the issue " Every test imaginable, they even took marrow, I waited for answers, my imagination running ragged West Nile, leukemia Some of the things I was dreaming of Three weeks later Still no sign of feeling better " let's take your vitals " they said " then you can go home in a while " 103 was my temp My body was limp " Let's pretend that is 98 " they said " And we can get you out of bed " Arrived at home and straight to bed I went Got in bed and started to repent What have I done to deserve this? Why is everyone else in bliss? Two months later still no change in fever, Chills, Tylenol, Night Sweats and repeat Is this what my life has become? What happened to all the fun? Follow up and the doc says Grab a tissue, let's go over these issues I believe it's " Lymphoma " How sure are you? " Most Likely " I begin to cry, life flashes before my eyes Follow up tests prove otherwise I owe that to the man in the sky One year later after many wrong directions, I find out it is way more than just an infection " You have stills disease " These words have wrecked my life Fever so high you would think my brain is fried 5 years to live, Pneumonia and Scar Tissue, Issue after issue Then it continues, " you have Osteoporosis and Fibromyalgia " Can you imagine my nostalgia? If only i can go back to complaining about work Just thinking of those days makes me smirk The life I had taken for granted Now I wish I can just have it The pain and suffering that I am going through The tears I hide, my smile is full of rue I keep on pushing although my body is telling me no I can't give up, I just go and go My husband, my hero is the only one who sees My tears fall and my heart bleed I go to work and fake a smile And all the while People think I am fine So I just go with it and feed them some lines Although I am dying on the inside Don't ever take your days for granted Because you never know what life has planned for it I am so tired I just want to die and let this win But I fight and fight I can't give in So say what you want and live in denial How would you cope if you walked in my shoes a mile? Love you all, Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2012 Report Share Posted March 26, 2012 Thank you for sharing, it really hit home when I was reading it. Even though I don't post much, I am so grateful for this group. The people on here are wonderful, and I too hate complaining all the time and to know there are other people out there so we can vent if needed is great. Though I don't wish this disease on my worst enemy, I'm grateful for this group and everyone who is a part of it. Unless you live with this disease you don't really know what is does to your body, and the fact that sometimes your body just won't let you do what your mind wants it to do. & nbsp; -- Sent from my Palm Pixi On Mar 26, 2012 7:31 PM, angie vejar & lt;angievejar@... & gt; wrote: & nbsp; I was feeling horrible the other night and started writing because although I have someone who will listen I don't want to complain all of the time. This is a just something I threw together and a little bit of my life with Still's. Walk in my shoes I remember the days Stuck in my old ways I can see the rays of the sun There goes all the fun Another day of work Customer service Oh the life of a clerk I would sit there and think, why me? Why couldn't someone just hand me a deed Growing up we were poor It made me strive for more Then one day my world came crashing down Fever struck while I was out of town It was bad, the worst I've ever had I tried to deal The pain was unreal Emergency room here I come The docs looked at me as if I am dumb 105 fever, lips chapped, body aches and chills Looks like this is the real deal " Are you drunk " they asked No I'm not but give me a bottle so I can bask Take away the pain I am feeling My health is ailing So they ran a few tests Stuck a needle in my spine There I waited and after some time Doc came in and said " good news you're not drunk " All the while I'm thinking " he is such a punk " " We are gonna admit you, got to find out the issue " Every test imaginable, they even took marrow, I waited for answers, my imagination running ragged West Nile, leukemia Some of the things I was dreaming of Three weeks later Still no sign of feeling better " let's take your vitals " they said " then you can go home in a while " 103 was my temp My body was limp " Let's pretend that is 98 " they said " And we can get you out of bed " Arrived at home and straight to bed I went Got in bed and started to repent What have I done to deserve this? Why is everyone else in bliss? Two months later still no change in fever, Chills, Tylenol, Night Sweats and repeat Is this what my life has become? What happened to all the fun? Follow up and the doc says Grab a tissue, let's go over these issues I believe it's " Lymphoma " How sure are you? " Most Likely " I begin to cry, life flashes before my eyes Follow up tests prove otherwise I owe that to the man in the sky One year later after many wrong directions, I find out it is way more than just an infection " You have stills disease " These words have wrecked my life Fever so high you would think my brain is fried 5 years to live, Pneumonia and Scar Tissue, Issue after issue Then it continues, " you have Osteoporosis and Fibromyalgia " Can you imagine my nostalgia? If only i can go back to complaining about work Just thinking of those days makes me smirk The life I had taken for granted Now I wish I can just have it The pain and suffering that I am going through The tears I hide, my smile is full of rue I keep on pushing although my body is telling me no I can't give up, I just go and go My husband, my hero is the only one who sees My tears fall and my heart bleed I go to work and fake a smile And all the while People think I am fine So I just go with it and feed them some lines Although I am dying on the inside Don't ever take your days for granted Because you never know what life has planned for it I am so tired I just want to die and let this win But I fight and fight I can't give in So say what you want and live in denial How would you cope if you walked in my shoes a mile? Love you all, Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2012 Report Share Posted March 26, 2012 Angie...you have so much company here...that is all I know to say. That, and I think it is good you got this out and into words. April Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone Walk in my shoes I was feeling horrible the other night and started writing because although I have someone who will listen I don't want to complain all of the time. This is a just something I threw together and a little bit of my life with Still's. Walk in my shoes I remember the days Stuck in my old ways I can see the rays of the sun There goes all the fun Another day of work Customer service Oh the life of a clerk I would sit there and think, why me? Why couldn't someone just hand me a deed Growing up we were poor It made me strive for more Then one day my world came crashing down Fever struck while I was out of town It was bad, the worst I've ever had I tried to deal The pain was unreal Emergency room here I come The docs looked at me as if I am dumb 105 fever, lips chapped, body aches and chills Looks like this is the real deal " Are you drunk " they asked No I'm not but give me a bottle so I can bask Take away the pain I am feeling My health is ailing So they ran a few tests Stuck a needle in my spine There I waited and after some time Doc came in and said " good news you're not drunk " All the while I'm thinking " he is such a punk " " We are gonna admit you, got to find out the issue " Every test imaginable, they even took marrow, I waited for answers, my imagination running ragged West Nile, leukemia Some of the things I was dreaming of Three weeks later Still no sign of feeling better " let's take your vitals " they said " then you can go home in a while " 103 was my temp My body was limp " Let's pretend that is 98 " they said " And we can get you out of bed " Arrived at home and straight to bed I went Got in bed and started to repent What have I done to deserve this? Why is everyone else in bliss? Two months later still no change in fever, Chills, Tylenol, Night Sweats and repeat Is this what my life has become? What happened to all the fun? Follow up and the doc says Grab a tissue, let's go over these issues I believe it's " Lymphoma " How sure are you? " Most Likely " I begin to cry, life flashes before my eyes Follow up tests prove otherwise I owe that to the man in the sky One year later after many wrong directions, I find out it is way more than just an infection " You have stills disease " These words have wrecked my life Fever so high you would think my brain is fried 5 years to live, Pneumonia and Scar Tissue, Issue after issue Then it continues, " you have Osteoporosis and Fibromyalgia " Can you imagine my nostalgia? If only i can go back to complaining about work Just thinking of those days makes me smirk The life I had taken for granted Now I wish I can just have it The pain and suffering that I am going through The tears I hide, my smile is full of rue I keep on pushing although my body is telling me no I can't give up, I just go and go My husband, my hero is the only one who sees My tears fall and my heart bleed I go to work and fake a smile And all the while People think I am fine So I just go with it and feed them some lines Although I am dying on the inside Don't ever take your days for granted Because you never know what life has planned for it I am so tired I just want to die and let this win But I fight and fight I can't give in So say what you want and live in denial How would you cope if you walked in my shoes a mile? Love you all, Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2012 Report Share Posted March 26, 2012 --Thanks so much for this. I have been suffering from Stills since 1991. I get so tired of people looking at me and saying you look so healthly, why are you on disability. These folks have no idea what is going on inside our bodies. I never post but read all the post from others, it helps. Thanks.                        I was feeling horrible the other night and started writing because although I have someone who will listen I don't want to complain all of the time. This is a just something I threw together and a little bit of my life with Still's. Walk in my shoes I remember the days Stuck in my old ways I can see the rays of the sun There goes all the fun Another day of work Customer service Oh the life of a clerk I would sit there and think, why me? Why couldn't someone just hand me a deed Growing up we were poor It made me strive for more Then one day my world came crashing down Fever struck while I was out of town It was bad, the worst I've ever had I tried to deal The pain was unreal Emergency room here I come The docs looked at me as if I am dumb 105 fever, lips chapped, body aches and chills Looks like this is the real deal " Are you drunk " they asked No I'm not but give me a bottle so I can bask Take away the pain I am feeling My health is ailing So they ran a few tests Stuck a needle in my spine There I waited and after some time Doc came in and said " good news you're not drunk " All the while I'm thinking " he is such a punk " " We are gonna admit you, got to find out the issue " Every test imaginable, they even took marrow, I waited for answers, my imagination running ragged West Nile, leukemia Some of the things I was dreaming of Three weeks later Still no sign of feeling better " let's take your vitals " they said " then you can go home in a while " 103 was my temp My body was limp " Let's pretend that is 98 " they said " And we can get you out of bed " Arrived at home and straight to bed I went Got in bed and started to repent What have I done to deserve this? Why is everyone else in bliss? Two months later still no change in fever, Chills, Tylenol, Night Sweats and repeat Is this what my life has become? What happened to all the fun? Follow up and the doc says Grab a tissue, let's go over these issues I believe it's " Lymphoma " How sure are you? " Most Likely " I begin to cry, life flashes before my eyes Follow up tests prove otherwise I owe that to the man in the sky One year later after many wrong directions, I find out it is way more than just an infection " You have stills disease " These words have wrecked my life Fever so high you would think my brain is fried 5 years to live, Pneumonia and Scar Tissue, Issue after issue Then it continues, " you have Osteoporosis and Fibromyalgia " Can you imagine my nostalgia? If only i can go back to complaining about work Just thinking of those days makes me smirk The life I had taken for granted Now I wish I can just have it The pain and suffering that I am going through The tears I hide, my smile is full of rue I keep on pushing although my body is telling me no I can't give up, I just go and go My husband, my hero is the only one who sees My tears fall and my heart bleed I go to work and fake a smile And all the while People think I am fine So I just go with it and feed them some lines Although I am dying on the inside Don't ever take your days for granted Because you never know what life has planned for it I am so tired I just want to die and let this win But I fight and fight I can't give in So say what you want and live in denial How would you cope if you walked in my shoes a mile? Love you all, Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2012 Report Share Posted March 26, 2012 --Thanks so much for this. I have been suffering from Stills since 1991. I get so tired of people looking at me and saying you look so healthly, why are you on disability. These folks have no idea what is going on inside our bodies. I never post but read all the post from others, it helps. Thanks.                        I was feeling horrible the other night and started writing because although I have someone who will listen I don't want to complain all of the time. This is a just something I threw together and a little bit of my life with Still's. Walk in my shoes I remember the days Stuck in my old ways I can see the rays of the sun There goes all the fun Another day of work Customer service Oh the life of a clerk I would sit there and think, why me? Why couldn't someone just hand me a deed Growing up we were poor It made me strive for more Then one day my world came crashing down Fever struck while I was out of town It was bad, the worst I've ever had I tried to deal The pain was unreal Emergency room here I come The docs looked at me as if I am dumb 105 fever, lips chapped, body aches and chills Looks like this is the real deal " Are you drunk " they asked No I'm not but give me a bottle so I can bask Take away the pain I am feeling My health is ailing So they ran a few tests Stuck a needle in my spine There I waited and after some time Doc came in and said " good news you're not drunk " All the while I'm thinking " he is such a punk " " We are gonna admit you, got to find out the issue " Every test imaginable, they even took marrow, I waited for answers, my imagination running ragged West Nile, leukemia Some of the things I was dreaming of Three weeks later Still no sign of feeling better " let's take your vitals " they said " then you can go home in a while " 103 was my temp My body was limp " Let's pretend that is 98 " they said " And we can get you out of bed " Arrived at home and straight to bed I went Got in bed and started to repent What have I done to deserve this? Why is everyone else in bliss? Two months later still no change in fever, Chills, Tylenol, Night Sweats and repeat Is this what my life has become? What happened to all the fun? Follow up and the doc says Grab a tissue, let's go over these issues I believe it's " Lymphoma " How sure are you? " Most Likely " I begin to cry, life flashes before my eyes Follow up tests prove otherwise I owe that to the man in the sky One year later after many wrong directions, I find out it is way more than just an infection " You have stills disease " These words have wrecked my life Fever so high you would think my brain is fried 5 years to live, Pneumonia and Scar Tissue, Issue after issue Then it continues, " you have Osteoporosis and Fibromyalgia " Can you imagine my nostalgia? If only i can go back to complaining about work Just thinking of those days makes me smirk The life I had taken for granted Now I wish I can just have it The pain and suffering that I am going through The tears I hide, my smile is full of rue I keep on pushing although my body is telling me no I can't give up, I just go and go My husband, my hero is the only one who sees My tears fall and my heart bleed I go to work and fake a smile And all the while People think I am fine So I just go with it and feed them some lines Although I am dying on the inside Don't ever take your days for granted Because you never know what life has planned for it I am so tired I just want to die and let this win But I fight and fight I can't give in So say what you want and live in denial How would you cope if you walked in my shoes a mile? Love you all, Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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