So confused and discouraged

August 8, 2012

Hi everyone,

This is my second time posting but I read everyone's post and commits daily.

I've seen a lot of post lately about SSDI. So, I just wanted to give an account

of my experience with the process from which I still have not been awarded

benefits. I was a teacher when I became ill and I thank God I for some reason

had opted for short and long term disability insurance. And believe it or not I

was just waiting for open enrollment so that I could drop the disability

insurance, I didn't think it made since for me to pay a premium when I wasn't

sick, when I became ill. Anyway, I'm lucky to have the income of LTD because

I've been fighting SSA since 2009. My LTD insurance required me to apply for

SSDI. But during this process I've been denied at every level and I couldn't

find anyone to help me at the federal level so I dropped it and choose to refile

a new application just last month. Anyway I choose to use SSDC Advocate to file

my case for me and I am also using them this time. I hope that was the right

decision but Im from Arkansas and there aren't many options here. Anyway I've

been called a liar by the ALJ and seeking drugs from a doctor. All which is the

furthest thing from the truth and have never been the nature of my character. I

have NEVER in my life used illegal drugs of any kind, I do not smoke or drink so

to be called a drug seeker was devestating for me. But even more than that what

has been the hardest for me to accept is being looked at as a person to not be

trusted being called a liar and being scrutinized as if I'm some type of

criminal mind. During this process I've had a battery of test a laundry list of

symptoms and three doctors to retire and/or leave Arkansas so needless to say

once I find a doctor that is good and believe me they leave and I have to start

the whole process over again with trying to gain trust. For a person that

suffers from an illness of this nature, you are already worn down so suffering

blows like this is very detrimental to not only ones physical help but mental

help as well. I'm sorry I keep losing my train of thought and rambling but as I

was saying my experience with SSA has been treacherous and one I wouldn't

attempt without an attorney if you can at all find a good one. I relate to do

many of you here. My family first keep saying oh your just depressed, you need

to just push through it. And now since I've been I'll since 2007 and in fact

getting worse instead of better they at least say they believe that I have an

illness but I know from the comments they make still have no understandings what

so ever of how I feeling and how the illness affects me. They say stuff like

wells the if you'd get out of bed and out of the house you will feel better or

they say you probably just need to exercise more. Then I get those well we will

pray for you or you need to pray and ask God to heal you. I am a Christian and I

believe in God but when they say stuff like that it makes me feel as if they are

saying that somehow Im not a good enough Christian or I'm doing something to

wrong and being punished by God. I'm not a perfect person and I've made my

mistakes but I can tell you I'm not a person to do anything wrong intentionally

so I really resent when they say stuff like pray more to me. I have given them

numerous articles sent website links and video about my illness and they've even

said and seemed to understand at the time but a week later it's back to the same

old habits of asking me to over extend myself and the comments. I'm just do

frustrated I feel betrayed by everyone family, friends, co- workers, doctors,

healthcare, the government. I feel like I have no soft place to fall, no one

looking out for my best interest. This is the most devestating illness and to

try and presseude people that you are really sick and begging for help at every

angle is just almost a losing battle. How do you continue to fight when you have

no fight left? Not trying to dampen anyone's spirits but just needed to vent.

Any suggestions or thoughts of inspiration are welcomed.

Blessings to all

Angelia

August 9, 2012

Angelina,

You are understood in this forum....believe me! Â Just keep putting one foot in

front of the other....

I have lost most of my friends, due to my not being reliable to keep

plans-----and I was always someone who could be depended upon for ALL

things......so, I know how that feels. Â And what IS IT with all of the

relatives telling us to EXERCISE MORE? Â I don't get THAT part at all!

Hang in there....you WILL be approved for SSDI.....I am glad that you found

another doctor--and that you are beginning the process over again. Â Just

remember---that the sooner you get a social security disability attorney

involved-----the more likely you won't make any mistakes in filling out the

paperwork. Â BUT---as someone else said--DO NOT DEPEND ON THE ATTORNEY TO FILE

ANYTHING with SSA---always make sure that they have filed whatever it is that

has been asked for---OR, do it yourself. Â SSA will accept duplicates----but,

they will NAIL YOU if you don't meet deadlines. Â They don't care WHO is at

fault....you OR your attorney!

Lynn

________________________________

Sent: Wednesday, August 8, 2012 10:11 PM

Subject: So confused and discouraged