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Seeking Support Brigade

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I havent posted in a long time but here i am now. It hasnt been a very good year

for me compared to some other times. Generally ive not said anything and when i

have it's been to try to tell someone to look on the 'up' side. I'm grateful for

many things but right now i'm feeling drained from everything. I've been feeling

ill and in pain to point of having to crawl on the floor on hands and knees to

do things. Being on my own it's hard to just 'stop'. I think the hardest part

right now is having parents knowing i'm ill and never calling but i'm calling

them to check on them. People i thought were friends are acting like they can

call or not call and i have nothing to do and when they want something or want

nurturing it's expected. I feel like i'm not fitting into the disabled world or

the 'well world'. I think most of you on the group have families, spouses,

others in some fashion. It's very hard for me to take 'help'. I'm very

independent headed. I feel

very alone. Sometines scared. It was said in March i have DDD and arthritis but

i dont even know what to think of that. well there's more but i'll leave it at

this and ask if there's anyone out there who feels like i do and if theres a

support brigade(how IS that word spelled anyway? cant spell lately either!) out

there. Excuse any typos.

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