Re: where people live

[Guest guest]

I was born and raised in Queens/border of Queens and don't really know any

different,

except for the college years in Jersey. I'm in love with the seasons, and I'm

kind of a New

York girl overall--love the culture, theatre, museums and stuff. Always

something to

do...BUT, the city in the summer is AWFUL! So much overcrowding, the roaches,

the rats,

the smells. Ahh...urban living. I teach in Oxford, England for a chunk of the

summer

months just to avoid it. Anyone wanna sublet...? lol

> I live in WA because I HATE hot and humid and extremely cold lol...I

> was born and raised in Minn,,,, not my idea of a good place to live

> weatherwise.

>

>

>

> >

> > LOL want to trade ?? I hate the hot humid buggy weather of the

> midwest...it

> > IS green, but it's also a sauna in summer. 91F with humidity at 87%

> is NOT

> > my idea of good living

> >

> > Jackie

> >

> >

> >

> > I'm in AZ but would like to someday be somewheres green and rainy!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I am in Cincinnati Ohio.

Lilly

rainbowisteria wrote:

I'm in Queens, New York. I've wondered the same thing...

>

> I was just curious Where alot of the regular posters live,, If you

> dont feel safe sharing what state then please dont, Dont have to list

> city just curious if any people are near me on here. Im in Wa state.

>

>

---------------------------------

Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels

in 45,000 destinations on Yahoo! Travel to find your fit.

[Guest guest]

OMG, beach bunny, I can't believe you brought this up.

My mother NEVER cooked.

There were always excuses: she hated the heat, it was too stressful, etc.

My father makes breakfast which he serves her in bed. (Same thing when I was

growing

up). He bagged lunches for all three of us when I was a kid, and cooked dinner

as well. For

the most part, he serves her in bed. She is 400 lbs., and he does her bidding at

all times.

Everything is served to her. Always. Even a glass of water.

I used to think it was a cool gender reversal thing, but eventually it really

upset me. She

will not eat it he doesn't prepare food and serve it to her (if he wasn't around

when I was

growing up, I had to).

She will prepare holiday meals, which are delicious (she never lets us forget

how good they

are), but the stress is so horrible, I never think it is worth it. She is so

very mean and just

screams consantly at my father. I am no longer around for this part of the

holiday

festivities.

When my father didn't cook, we had takeout. Tons of takeout. Fast food, pizza,

chinese

food, diner food. All the local places new us. In retrospect, it makes me so

sad. There were

also 1am/2am binges, when my father would buy her (and me too, I'm sad to say) a

whole

cake, or a gallon of ice cream, or a bag of cookies. Everything would be eaten

in an hour

or so, and then we'd usually wind up getting sick from the food.

Did anyone else experience this kind of food problem? I am working very hard to

get a

grip now, but I am still overweight. I was always told " nobody loves the fat

girl " , and I was

forced to diet from about 6 years old, but, oddly, they fed me terribly anyway.

I was

bulimic/restrictive/exercise obssessed for years, and threw up every morning

from about

10-18, aside from the post-meal vomitting. It was even worse in college.

Wow, this was much more in depth than I expected. Food issues are terrible in my

family.

Aunts, cousins, even my grandmother all restrict or are

anorexic/bulimic/morbidly obese.

It is awful. I consider it the hardest thing in my life to deal with, aside from

my mother.

Any other folk have this kind of addictive issue they are struggling with? I

don't want to

mirror my mom, but it is so hard to learn nutrition without any guidance. I've

taught

myself to cook, but portion control is tough.

She was never into alcohol, drugs, or gambling...not even cigarettes. But

food--what a

disaster.

Love,

Tami

>

> Ok....which one of you are going to send me a recipe for cornbread now? We

had tacos

for dinner and with all this talk of tex-mex i'm dying for some awesome corn

bread and

chili! I'll trade you all a kick-butt crab cake recipe for an awesome corn

bread recipe...any

takers?

>

> Just to keep this on topic I was curious at how good of cooks your mother's

are....my

mother has always been a HORRIBLE cook! She can't even make the macaroni and

cheese

that comes in a box...she refuses to take the time to read directions. She

cooks everything

at the same temperature and for the same amount of time....475 degrees for an

hour.

Seriously...my cousin is a chef and he could only come up with a couple things

that you

bake at that high of a temperature. (And they were all things that she can't

pronounce...but she can't even say whopper so that's not a stretch...she says

whomper)

It's amazing that I can cook at all....I guess between my southern roots(Not to

brag, but I

make the best sausage gravy and sweet tea this side of the Mississippi and I

have the blue

ribbons to prove it...lol) and my Italian roots I was able to compensate! (This

little oriental

lady that we go to church with has kicked my butt in the Italian category

several years

running....i don't

> even try anymore...she is fabulous!)

>

> sleddog wrote: .I'm in the

Texas hill country. Yee

ha. Our reputation isn't entirely true.

> I don't carry a >gun or ride a horse regularly lol!

>

> LOL I'm not any where near TX, but I DO ride a horse regulary :-) actually

> two horses ! we are in red neck counrty...our closest neighbors ( which

> aren't really very close as were also in a very rural area) have a " junk

> yard " in their yard..old fridge sits next to the barn, an old washer/dryer

> sits outside of their single wde, which has been taken over by coons and

> feral cats...they live in the double wide LOL and old rusted cars and trucks

> are everywhere...

>

> Jackie

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

One of my first memories is of being 5 or 6 and sitting on the kitchen

floor, opening the counters and eating Lucky Charms out of the box, in

fistfulls. I always thought it was about being addicted to sugar.

I'm thinking now that 5 year old Deanna was self-medicating to deal

with difficult emotions, which I was not allowed to express.

The reason being, another memory I have from around that age is

telling my mother I hated her and receiving an immediate, hard slap

across the face and a " You DO NOT hate your mother. " I don't remember

why I told her I hated her.

So I have been using food to soothe myself pretty much my whole life

and I'm a size 18 now. A few days after going NC with my mother, I

got back on a diet program and it has been working great and is

suddenly not torture to stick to. I think this is about living my

truth by saying " NO. You're smothering me and I won't stand for it

anymore. "

I've realized that I ALWAYS SWALLOW. Swallow the anger. Swallow my

response. Swallow the sadness. Swallow the shame.

My parents never gave me crap about being (a little) overweight as a

kid, but when I became a size 4 at 14, my mother told me I would just

gain it back like everyone else, and I realized she was envious of me.

That comment hung like a curse over my head until I did as she told

me I would, and gained it back a few months later.

[Guest guest]

My mother used to also cook on special occasions,

always basically the same thing (meat and two veg with

Yorkshire pudding). I really loved the Yorkshire

pudding and she would let me eat unlimited amouts of

it. Probably not a good eating habit to instill.

This meal would come out only if there was a guest.

If it was just me, she might prepare something then

serve it like I was in a restaurant or something

(while I watched TV). It's weird because she used to

always call me spoiled, but then I used to feel really

spoiled from how she treated me. This was, however,

the opposite of what happened at my father's house,

where he insisted we always eat at the table even if

the whole family was not talking to each other. Which

was awkward, but probably the right impulse.

I also remember a lot of take-out when I lived with

her. She used to use it as yet another attempt to get

me away from my father by claiming that I could eat

whatever I wanted (he was stricter. Neither was

successful...I was a fat kid). So I could order pizza

or KFC in unlimited quatities, which was exciting for

me. In fact, she'd encourage it.

I'm trying to remember now what I ate normally when I

lived there and nothing is coming to mind. Strange.

is

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I've had a lot of difficulties with my weight. I've had some scattered issues

with anorexia, btu nothing to the point of hospitalization. I'm always

malnourished. I just have so much guilt attached to food. Nada put the " fat

pictures " of me and my sister (these were just photos taken from the side

wearing spandex lol) on the fridge to remind us that everything we put in our

bodies stays somewhere. She made fun of me if I finished my plate or got

seconds. Our dinners were very small, 3oz meat, 3oz starch, 6oz vegetables,

measured and weighed. I would drink a slim-fast shake at breakfast, eat a

protein bar at school for lunch and then eat that dinner, which was almost

always grilled chicken breasts and the " starch " was usually a starchy vegetable

like corn. Nada was very restrictive about what I could cook. Even though I did

the grocery shopping and cooked the meals, I would be in deep sh-t if I strayed

from her idea of what healthy eating is.

She still goes on about how fat I am, even when I'm not there. She tells other

family members how concerned she is about my weight problem. I'm actually at a

perfectly healthy weight. About 130 and 5'5'', but I'm curvy, 36 inches each

bust and hips. That accounts for some weight. See! I still worry over it. I eat

a bigger variety now that I've left home, but I only eat once a day. I don't eat

sweets, I don't eat, even if I'm hungry, until that one meal. If I have even a

bite outside of the meal, I feel intensely guilty. Often, if I'm upset or

thinking about nada a lot, I skip my meal for a couple days. Then, of course,

when I eventually eat I get sick and want to eat even less.

I'm working hard at it, but when I look in the mirror I see a girl twice or

even three times my size. I look so much bigger then I logically know that I am.

I think that's called body dysmorphia or something. My doctor keeps telling me I

need to eat more, that I'm always half-starved, but it's so hard to eat when I

see that in the mirror. I have been allowing myself bacon though and even gravy

sometimes! Ooh, and every now and then a second helping! So, I guess it's

getting better, but I have this feeling me and food have a long battle still to

fight.

Jae

rainbowisteria wrote:

OMG, beach bunny, I can't believe you brought this up.

My mother NEVER cooked.

There were always excuses: she hated the heat, it was too stressful, etc.

My father makes breakfast which he serves her in bed. (Same thing when I was

growing

up). He bagged lunches for all three of us when I was a kid, and cooked dinner

as well. For

the most part, he serves her in bed. She is 400 lbs., and he does her bidding at

all times.

Everything is served to her. Always. Even a glass of water.

I used to think it was a cool gender reversal thing, but eventually it really

upset me. She

will not eat it he doesn't prepare food and serve it to her (if he wasn't around

when I was

growing up, I had to).

She will prepare holiday meals, which are delicious (she never lets us forget

how good they

are), but the stress is so horrible, I never think it is worth it. She is so

very mean and just

screams consantly at my father. I am no longer around for this part of the

holiday

festivities.

When my father didn't cook, we had takeout. Tons of takeout. Fast food, pizza,

chinese

food, diner food. All the local places new us. In retrospect, it makes me so

sad. There were

also 1am/2am binges, when my father would buy her (and me too, I'm sad to say) a

whole

cake, or a gallon of ice cream, or a bag of cookies. Everything would be eaten

in an hour

or so, and then we'd usually wind up getting sick from the food.

Did anyone else experience this kind of food problem? I am working very hard to

get a

grip now, but I am still overweight. I was always told " nobody loves the fat

girl " , and I was

forced to diet from about 6 years old, but, oddly, they fed me terribly anyway.

I was

bulimic/restrictive/exercise obssessed for years, and threw up every morning

from about

10-18, aside from the post-meal vomitting. It was even worse in college.

Wow, this was much more in depth than I expected. Food issues are terrible in my

family.

Aunts, cousins, even my grandmother all restrict or are

anorexic/bulimic/morbidly obese.

It is awful. I consider it the hardest thing in my life to deal with, aside from

my mother.

Any other folk have this kind of addictive issue they are struggling with? I

don't want to

mirror my mom, but it is so hard to learn nutrition without any guidance. I've

taught

myself to cook, but portion control is tough.

She was never into alcohol, drugs, or gambling...not even cigarettes. But

food--what a

disaster.

Love,

Tami

>

> Ok....which one of you are going to send me a recipe for cornbread now? We had

tacos

for dinner and with all this talk of tex-mex i'm dying for some awesome corn

bread and

chili! I'll trade you all a kick-butt crab cake recipe for an awesome corn bread

recipe...any

takers?

>

> Just to keep this on topic I was curious at how good of cooks your mother's

are....my

mother has always been a HORRIBLE cook! She can't even make the macaroni and

cheese

that comes in a box...she refuses to take the time to read directions. She cooks

everything

at the same temperature and for the same amount of time....475 degrees for an

hour.

Seriously...my cousin is a chef and he could only come up with a couple things

that you

bake at that high of a temperature. (And they were all things that she can't

pronounce...but she can't even say whopper so that's not a stretch...she says

whomper)

It's amazing that I can cook at all....I guess between my southern roots(Not to

brag, but I

make the best sausage gravy and sweet tea this side of the Mississippi and I

have the blue

ribbons to prove it...lol) and my Italian roots I was able to compensate! (This

little oriental

lady that we go to church with has kicked my butt in the Italian category

several years

running....i don't

> even try anymore...she is fabulous!)

>

> sleddog wrote: .I'm in the Texas hill country. Yee

ha. Our reputation isn't entirely true.

> I don't carry a >gun or ride a horse regularly lol!

>

> LOL I'm not any where near TX, but I DO ride a horse regulary :-) actually

> two horses ! we are in red neck counrty...our closest neighbors ( which

> aren't really very close as were also in a very rural area) have a " junk

> yard " in their yard..old fridge sits next to the barn, an old washer/dryer

> sits outside of their single wde, which has been taken over by coons and

> feral cats...they live in the double wide LOL and old rusted cars and trucks

> are everywhere...

>

> Jackie

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, Tami, were we in the same household? My nada never cooked

either, and my father did everything - still does, I imagine. She

insists on people bringing her glasses of soda or water or whatever,

and refers to things as " my special bread " or " my special

butter " . My father had to take her coffee in bed, bag lunches for

all the kids, make dinner every night, and do all the grocery

shopping too! My sister still thinks it was a weird gender role

reversal thing, I think it's nuts.

Well, my father tried really hard but I think you can only do this

for a couple of years. So when I was young my food was quite

healthy, I couldn't have sugared cereal, would always have one

protein, one starch, one vegetable for dinner...you get the

picture. But then with my younger siblings things spiraled out of

control, and we basically lived on frozen foods and takeaways when I

was in my teens - now i shudder to even think of what they eat at

home (2 siblings are still there).

Anyway, I have had huge problems with food. Any time that I tried

to diet (I was a little overweight as a teenager), my nada would

tell me that i had to eat pizzas/fries/whatever she was in the mood

for. Needless to say, I remained overweight. Finally, I have

learned a lot about nutrition, and i would say that in my household

now we have a pretty healthy diet. But there are times when

thoughts of food have completely dominated my life, and even now I

am sitting here feeling guilty that i had too much bread with my

dinner tonight. I wish I could figure out where all of these

thoughts come from, I think it has to do with the fact that i was

never supposed to cost anything, to use anything...so surely not

eating anything would be good

Also, I think it is fantastic that you are training as a therapist!!

Sara

.I'm

in the Texas hill country. Yee

> ha. Our reputation isn't entirely true.

> > I don't carry a >gun or ride a horse regularly lol!

> >

> > LOL I'm not any where near TX, but I DO ride a horse regulary :-

) actually

> > two horses ! we are in red neck counrty...our closest

neighbors ( which

> > aren't really very close as were also in a very rural area)

have a " junk

> > yard " in their yard..old fridge sits next to the barn, an old

washer/dryer

> > sits outside of their single wde, which has been taken over by

coons and

> > feral cats...they live in the double wide LOL and old rusted

cars and trucks

> > are everywhere...

> >

> > Jackie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

My dad, also, did the highly regulated thing with me. This was so bizarre

though, because

of the incredible duality. Same deal: no sugared cereals, dad was going to

health food

stores and eating organic/buying bottled water before it was " in " , but then

these horrible

binges would go on at night. I would get made fun of or yelled at for having

ketchup or

juice because there was too much sugar in them, but suddenly we'd each chinese

food

four nights a week. So very confusing. I think the mixed messages and the harsh

words

are so devastating to children. It was, literally, years before I could go into

a grocery store

without having a panic attack. Even now I still have trouble. Last year, my

partner and I

went on a bus trip to this historical site with her grandpa that included a stop

at an " all-

you-can-eat buffet " and I just freaked. It was so embarrassing, but I could

barely breathe.

And what is the deal with the " my special " this...and that. My mom does that

too! It's all

about the catering.

.I'm

> in the Texas hill country. Yee

> > ha. Our reputation isn't entirely true.

> > > I don't carry a >gun or ride a horse regularly lol!

> > >

> > > LOL I'm not any where near TX, but I DO ride a horse regulary :-

> ) actually

> > > two horses ! we are in red neck counrty...our closest

> neighbors ( which

> > > aren't really very close as were also in a very rural area)

> have a " junk

> > > yard " in their yard..old fridge sits next to the barn, an old

> washer/dryer

> > > sits outside of their single wde, which has been taken over by

> coons and

> > > feral cats...they live in the double wide LOL and old rusted

> cars and trucks

> > > are everywhere...

> > >

> > > Jackie

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I'm not a regular poster but I'm in Wisconsin. LOVE the midwest. I

couldn't live in a place that didn't have all four seasons.

>

> I was just curious Where alot of the regular posters live,, If you

> dont feel safe sharing what state then please dont, Dont have to list

> city just curious if any people are near me on here. Im in Wa state.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am in Wisconsin also. If you have a regular e-mail address, I believe mine is

on this. Send me a message and we can communicate.

Janie

blhoosier1 wrote:

I'm not a regular poster but I'm in Wisconsin. LOVE the midwest. I

couldn't live in a place that didn't have all four seasons.

>

> I was just curious Where alot of the regular posters live,, If you

> dont feel safe sharing what state then please dont, Dont have to list

> city just curious if any people are near me on here. Im in Wa state.

>

>

[Guest guest]

LOL whats interesting abotu the mid west is you can have all 4 seasons in

ONE month !! :-) In feb we had snow, and temps from minus 5 all the way to

78 !!

Jackie

I'm not a regular poster but I'm in Wisconsin. LOVE the midwest. I

couldn't live in a place that didn't have all four seasons.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I see from your post about Blake that you are in Bothell. I am in

Monroe, WA, but I grew up in Bothell! I went to Bothell High! Class

of '90.

I have a sil in Bothell named (if that is your real name ).

On the thread about nadas cooking, mine was also not up for it. She

worked in our " family " business, and when she came home in the evening

she was always tired and angry. No lovin' there. Dinner was almost

always quesadillas and broccoli that was steamed until the pieces

mushed together. Blah. What she didn't know was how often my little

brother and I made cookie dough after school and watched Little House

on the Prairie and ate the cookie dough. No cookies, no evidence. We

must have eaten pounds of it a week for a while. She bought baking

supplies at Costco and never seemed to notice they were being used.

She didn't notice a lot!

Heidi

>

> I was just curious Where alot of the regular posters live,, If you

> dont feel safe sharing what state then please dont, Dont have to list

> city just curious if any people are near me on here. Im in Wa state.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Heidi!

Wow its a small world hehe.. Yes is my real name. But am not

your SIL.. Since I have no FOO out here Could say with certainty hehe..

I do have an adopted Sister named Heidi! She lives back east.

So there ya go...

Might be fun someday to meet up with people in this area.

>

> Hi ,

>

> I see from your post about Blake that you are in Bothell. I am in

> Monroe, WA, but I grew up in Bothell! I went to Bothell High! Class

> of '90.

>

> I have a sil in Bothell named (if that is your real name ).

>

[Guest guest]

Seattle.

I'm a fan of the temperate climate as well. and even if global warming

turns this state into northern california, climate wise, things still

grow in northern california.

Delta

[Guest guest]

I'm in south Georgia ( " yes'm " ... " ain't " ... ...hot... humid...grits...

redneck... southern drawl and all, ya'll). My best friend here in Georgia is

from the hill country of Texas and she stays homesick for the hills, the weather

changes, bluebonnets and Indian paintbrush. (We all know better than to eat the

Tex-Mex food she prepares unless we've got a pitcher of water handy!). Jae, you

sound just like her. -Leslye

JL Suess wrote: I'm in the Texas hill country. Yee

ha. Our reputation isn't entirely true. I don't carry a gun or ride a horse

regularly lol! Although... I know how to do both and I own a cowboy hat and farm

boots. Oh, and I say " ain't " and have a bit of a drawl. Remember Jeff Foxworthy?

" Yantu " instead of " do you want to " and stuff like that. Oh, and silly southern

phrases, like " crazierd'na rat ina sh!thouse " . Which is something I have never

seen but I imagine it's pretty crazy lol! I like it here though, despite the

redneck reputation. I don't care much for snow, which is great since it's only

ever snowed here twice in my lifetime. We only have two seasons: hot and daaamn

hot. Oh, and wet. We do have the season of " wet " . Near the Gulf of Mexico it

lasts all year! And can't forget tex-mex. I can't leave the state for long. I

start craving tex-mex and it's just not the same anywhere else.

Mmmm... I think I'm going to have enchiladas for dinner now. With plenty of

chili con carne and refried beans!!

Jae

Beach Bunny wrote:

I don't mind sharing at all...even though I couldn't be much further away...i'm

an East Coast Bunny...live on land's Eastern Shores! lol...that surprises

people...they usually assume either California, Florida, North or South

Carolina....nope...we have beaches in land too...(and the best crab cakes in

the world...or so they say...i hate seafood!)

wrote: I was just curious Where alot of the regular

posters live,, If you

dont feel safe sharing what state then please dont, Dont have to list

city just curious if any people are near me on here. Im in Wa state.

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

[Guest guest]

Awww, c'mon. South Georgia has 4 seasons. Cool and humid, warm and humid, hot

and humid, and HOT and HUMID. LOL -Leslye

blhoosier1 wrote: I'm not a regular poster but

I'm in Wisconsin. LOVE the midwest. I

couldn't live in a place that didn't have all four seasons.

>

> I was just curious Where alot of the regular posters live,, If you

> dont feel safe sharing what state then please dont, Dont have to list

> city just curious if any people are near me on here. Im in Wa state.

>

>

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