What do you do when you don't have enough support?

[Guest guest]

I can't get unstuck. I don't had enough energy to keep up in my life. I've lost

friends and family. I am tapping out those whom I have left because I need so

much support. Emotional support mostly. My life is falling apart, so every day

is difficult. Who can keep up with that? I dont have a spouse or significant

other. My family is busy or doesnt understand.

And we all know people just don't get it.

I'm so resentful that no one asks how I am when I am miserable. I try not to

talk about it, or burden people. But occasionally when things get really bad,

and my defenses are down, I let it out to those who are close to me. And when

they dont seem to have any empathy, I am so angry and so disappointed. The last

thing I want to do is lose those I have left.

So what do you do when you just need more support than is out there? I can't

overburden people. I've run out of the maximum number of therapist visits and I

can't afford to pay out of pocket. I can write to support forums online til my

hearts content but one its not the same and two I don't want to keep complaining

to the world.

I feel so isolated and alone and like no one gets what is happening to me and

all those " true friends " and " caring family " were just a myth.

It makes the health problems even harder. Being angry and alone and depressed

does not help things. The inability to get out there and participate in life

makes me feel stuck. I know I should be all zen, and change my attitude and be

happy for what I have but I'm just miserable and can't get unstuck from here.

So sorry to complain; this is what I am trying to limit.

[Guest guest]

Hi Olinisa,

We all feel stuck sometime and indeed we can get stuck for awhile. When I feel

like that, I usually stay with the feelings awhile, let them all come to the

surface without trying to do anything about them, or judge them, or change them,

or deny them, just watch them. Let them out but don't act on them. Then after

awhile they tend to have been spent, when they are not held back they sort of

dissipate of their own accord. They lose energy once they are seen for what they

are. It is holding back feelings that gives them so much power over us.

There is a critical difference however, between allowing feelings to come to the

surface and indulging in them. When we allow them we become freer and lighter

when we indulge in them we become heavier and darker.

So for me, I make it a practice to allow all feelings, usually when I am alone

but sometimes with someone who will listen and then when they have been made

conscious, I look at them, decide if I need to do anything about them, usually

not, and then go on about my life and let them go. I try not to get caught in

indulging in them because it brings me down and it is hard to get out again.

Kind of like being stuck in the mud.

Whether we have anyone else around us or not, whether we are sick or not, it is

still our choice what we choose to pay attention to and for how long.

Peace, Love and Harmony,

Bev

>

> I can't get unstuck. I don't had enough energy to keep up in my life. I've

lost friends and family. I am tapping out those whom I have left because I need

so much support. Emotional support mostly. My life is falling apart, so every

day is difficult. Who can keep up with that? I dont have a spouse or

significant other. My family is busy or doesnt understand.

>

> And we all know people just don't get it.

>

> I'm so resentful that no one asks how I am when I am miserable. I try not to

talk about it, or burden people. But occasionally when things get really bad,

and my defenses are down, I let it out to those who are close to me. And when

they dont seem to have any empathy, I am so angry and so disappointed. The last

thing I want to do is lose those I have left.

[Guest guest]

omg my heart goes out to you and i feel like i wrote this post as i feel

the same way, i dont have a support system my fiance is in denial of my pain

and not the type of man that steps up with compassion or helping me with

housework or anything to msake me feel better. my family is in nj two of my

sister i havent spoken to in 7 months since they stole 170,000.00 from my

moms bank account she has dementia and trusted them to take care of her she

is 82 and they stole from her, we have pressed charges nothing has happened

yet so my brother is now in charge of my moms care and he kicked me when i

am down when i need the support the most tomorrow i am one week strsaight

off pain meds the hardest week of my life and i have never felt so alone and

scared and so sick. he told me i was a drug addict and he is on 350 pain

med inclufing methadone for 20 years but he sells half of them he is still a

drug addcit in denial ,i was forced into doing without meds when the roxy

were just not working for me and i took more and every month i would run

out and get thrown into withdrawsls i got sick of it and now i am on suboxone

and things are starting to look up one week without a crutch i cant

believe i made it this far, i still feel i need soemthing for pain but right

now

i am happy detoxing my body and see how much pain i can tolerte as th4 pain

meds made me functional but unhappy cause they werent touching all the

pain. now i am starting to have less pain except for now i think i might have

a kidney stone ontop of detoxing, going to the dcotor on monday.

so i dont have my family to turn to plus they are 2,000 miles away and i

dont have but one friend in floirda and i called today to get professional

help the only couselor they have i didn't like and the next appt i could get

isnt till aug 2 so i rely on this group to vent also.

you are not aslone and what you are feeling is so real, i feel so bad for

you i wish you lived near me i would give you a hug that you need.

please know you are not alone and you can write me personally and i will

alwayd respond and liste to you off the list

netty

In a message dated 7/6/2012 10:06:52 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

olnisa@... writes:

I can't get unstuck. I don't had enough energy to keep up in my life. I've

lost friends and family. I am tapping out those whom I have left because I

need so much support. Emotional support mostly. My life is falling apart,

so every day is difficult. Who can keep up with that? I dont have a spouse

or significant other. My family is busy or doesnt understand.

And we all know people just don't get it.

I'm so resentful that no one asks how I am when I am miserable. I try not

to talk about it, or burden people. But occasionally when things get really

bad, and my defenses are down, I let it out to those who are close to me.

And when they dont seem to have any empathy, I am so angry and so

disappointed. The last thing I want to do is lose those I have left.