Billy (a two hanky story)

[Guest guest]

BILLY

A number of years ago (1983-1987), I had the opportunity to play the character

of Mc for the Mc's Corporation. My marketplace covered most

of Arizona and a portion of Southern California.

One of our standard events was " Day. " One day each month, we visited as

many of the community hospitals as possible, bringing a little happiness into a

place where no one ever looks forward to going. I was very proud to be able to

make a difference for children and adults who were experiencing some " down

time. " The warmth and gratification I would receive stayed with me for weeks. I

loved the project, Mc's loved the project, the kids and adults loved it

and so did the nursing and hospital staffs.

There were two restrictions placed on me during a visit. First I could not go

anywhere in the hospital without Mc's personnel (my handlers) as well as

the hospital personnel. That way, if I were to walk into a room and frighten a

child, there was someone there to address the issue immediately.And second, I

could not physically touch anyone within the hospital. They did not want me

transferring germs from one patient to another. I understood why they had this

" don't touch " rule, but I didn't like it. I believe that touching is the most

honest form of communication we will ever know. Printed and spoken words can

lie; it is impossible to lie with a warm hug. Breaking either of these rules, I

was told, meant I could lose my job.

Toward the end of my fourth year of " Days, " as I was heading down a

hallway after a long day in grease paint and on my way home, I heard a little

voice. " , . " I stopped. The soft little voice was coming through a

half-opened door. I pushed the door open and saw a young boy, about five years

old, lying in his dad's arms, hooked up to more medical equipment than I had

ever seen. Mom was on the other side, along with Grandma, Grandpa and a nurse

tending to the equipment.

I knew by the feeling in the room that the situation was grave. I asked the

little boy his name - he told me it was - and I did a few simple magic

tricks for him. As I stepped back to say good-bye, I asked if there was

anything else I could do for him.

" , would you hold me? "

Such a simple request. But what ran trough my mind was that if I touched him, I

could lose my job. So I told I could not do that right now, but I

suggested that he and I color a picture. Upon completing a wonderful piece of

art that we were both very proud of, asked me to hold him again. By this

time my heart was screaming " Yes! " But my mind was screaming louder. " No, you

are going to lose your job. "

This second time that billy asked me, I had to ponder why I could not grant the

simple request of a little boy who would probably not be going home. I asked

myself why was I being logically and emotionally torn apart by someone I had

never seen before and would probably never see again.

" Hold me. "

It was such a simple request, and yet... I searched for any reasonable response

that would allow me to leave. I could not come up with a single one. It took me

a moment to realize that in this situation, losing my job may not be the

disaster I feared.

Was losing my job the worst thing in the world Did I have enough self-belief

that if I did lose my job, I would be able to pick up and start again? The

answer was a loud, bold, affirming " Yes! " I could pick up and start again.

So what was the risk? Just that if I lost my job, it probably would not be long

before I would first lose my car, then my home... and to be honest with you, I

really liked those things. But I realized that at the end of my life, the car

would have no value and neither would the house. The only things that had

steadfast value were experiences. Once I reminded myself the real reason I was

there was to bring a little happiness to an unhappy environment, I realized that

I really faced no risk at all.

I sent Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa out of the room, and my two Mc's

escorts out to the van. The nurse tending the medical equipment stayed, but

asked her to stand and face the corner. Then I picked up this little

wonder of a human being. He was so frail and so scared. We laughed and cried for

45 minutes, and talked about the things that worried him.

was afraid that his little brother might get lost coming home from

kindergarten next year, without to show him the way. He worried that his

dog wouldn't get another bone because had hidden the bones in the house

before going back to the hospital, and now he couldn't remember where he put

them. These are problems to a little boy who knows he is not going home.

On my way out of the room, with tear-streaked makeup running down my neck, I

gave Mom and Dad my real name and phone number (another automatic dismissal from

Mc's, but I figured that I was gone and had nothing to lose), and said if

there was anything the Mc's Corporation or I could do, to give me a call

and consider it done. Less than 48 hours later, I received a phone call from

's mom. She informed me that had passed away. She and her husband

simply wanted to thank me for making a difference in their little boy's life.

's mom told me that shortly after I left the room, looked at her and

said, " Momma, I don't care anymore if I see Santa this year because...

I was held by Mc! "

Sometimes we must do what is right for the moment, regardless of the perceived

risk. Only experiences have value,and the one biggest reason people limit their

experiences is because of the risk involved.

For the record, Mc's did find out about and me, but given the

circumstances, permitted me to retain my job. I continued as for another

year before leaving the corporation to share the story of and how

important it is to take risks.

(By Jeff McMullen)

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "