Something for the ladies only!

[Guest guest]

Mammies Grammed

This is a cute way to send " the message " ! There is a serious message at the end,

but you get to laugh on the way there. Now go out and have your mammies grammed!

Perfect Breasts

(o)(o)

Fake Silicone Breasts

( + )( + )

Perky Breasts

(*)(*)

Big Nipple Breasts

(@)(@)

A Cups

o o

D Cups

{ O }{ O }

Wonder Bra Breasts

(oYo)

Cold Breasts

( ^ )( ^ )

Lopsided Breasts

(o)(O)

Pierced Nipple Breasts

(Q)(O)

Hanging Tassels Breasts

(p)(p)

Grandma's Breasts

\ o /\ o /

Against The Shower Door Breasts

( )( )

Android Breasts

| o | | o |

Mammogram Breasts

___ ___

For years and years they told me,

Be careful of your breasts.

Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.

And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,

And protected them by law.

Guarded them very carefully,

And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,

My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,

Said I should get a Mammogram

" O.K, " I said, " let's do it. "

" Stand up here real close " she said,

(She got my boob in line),

" And tell me when it hurts, " she said,

" Ah yes! Right there, that's fine. "

She stepped upon a pedal,

I could not believe my eyes!

A plastic plate came slamming down,

My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,

From underneath my chin.

My poor boob was being squashed,

To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,

Within it's vise-like grip.

A prisoner in this vicious thing,

My poor defenseless tit!

" Take a deep breath " she said to me,

Who does she think she's kidding?!?

My chest is mashed in her machine,

And woozy I am getting.

" There, that's good, " I heard her say,

(The room was slowly swaying.)

" Now, let's have a go at the other one. "

Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,

It squeezed me from both sides.

I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,

To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,

I will request a blindfold.

I have no wish to see again,

My knockers getting steam rolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,

I surely have one now.

If there had been a cyst in there,

It would have gone " ker-pow! "

This machine was created by a man,

Of this, I have no doubt.

I'd like to stick his balls in there,

And see how THEY come out!

Mail this to 13 other females. ) Now, don't break the chain! One female broke

the chain, her plumbing became so bad, she now has an outhouse!

OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember... Breast Cancer

Awareness... Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the message

on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends -- and even your

enemies -- because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "

[Guest guest]

Jan,

This couldn't have come at a better time. I just had my mammogram this

afternoon.

My breasts are a cross between Lopsided Breasts (having had a

lumpectomy in the left one) and Grandma's Breasts, so I guess they look

like this:

\o/\O/

Thanks, Jan for a good laugh. Sue

[Guest guest]

Glad you enjoyed this....

I have what you would call lopsided for sure. Grandma's and when I had a breast

reduction 29 years ago and the swelling went down...one side was facing the

other side.

\ ./ \o/ it's been a hoot all these years because of the lopsidedness. lol

Jan in CA =^..^=

Sue <marysue@...> wrote:

Jan,

This couldn't have come at a better time. I just had my mammogram this

afternoon.

My breasts are a cross between Lopsided Breasts (having had a

lumpectomy in the left one) and Grandma's Breasts, so I guess they look

like this:

\o/\O/

Thanks, Jan for a good laugh. Sue

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "

[Guest guest]

Very funny, Jan and Sue!

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

Re: [ ] Something for the ladies only!

> Glad you enjoyed this....

>

> I have what you would call lopsided for sure. Grandma's and when I

had a breast reduction 29 years ago and the swelling went down...one

side was facing the other side.

> \ ./ \o/ it's been a hoot all these years because of the

lopsidedness. lol

>

> Jan in CA =^..^=

>

> Sue <marysue@...> wrote:

> Jan,

>

> This couldn't have come at a better time. I just had my mammogram this

> afternoon.

>

> My breasts are a cross between Lopsided Breasts (having had a

> lumpectomy in the left one) and Grandma's Breasts, so I guess they

look

> like this:

>

> \o/\O/

>

> Thanks, Jan for a good laugh. Sue