Stranger at the door.......

[Guest guest]

My dear friends at Ra-Support:

It's me.....Jan in CA. No I haven't fallen off the face of the earth though

sometimes I feel mentally, I have.

2003 (actually from November 2002) has been one of the worst periods of my life

for stress, illness, and mental anguish. On the 31st of January, I lost my job

through no fault of my own and was not ever able to find another one except an

on call to drive automobiles for a local dealer to a delivery point and bring

one back. I enjoyed it for the few runs that I did do but 2 or 3 times a month

was not sustaining. All through the year there were crisis' , health issues and

many things that I had no control over. In September, started the saga with my

home and is still not resolved and it is almost as if the insurance company is

hiding from me. My unemployment ran out the first of November and it has been

hand to mouth existence and the stress is terrible. Because of this, last

November, I made the decision to sell my home of 25 years and make a move to

Phoenix where the living expenses are not nearly so bad and I will be able to

exist much better. All I am waiting on is for this

house to be put back together so I can sell it. I have had that terrible flu

since way before Christmas and even as I sit here now, the deep chested, cough

goes on and on. I also have chest and head congestion at all times plus I don't

know if all this has triggered a FMS flare or if the flare is causing me to

linger longer with the flu. I have been through the regime of Z-Paks and cough

syrup with codeine and though it has helped some, the constant fatigue and

muscle and joint pain remain. I started Ultracet back in November but use it

very sparingly. This has been my one concession to giving in to taking a drug

for pain but it had gotten to the point that not even the extra-strength Tylenol

was taking the edge off.

I don't post any thing from me personally because at the time I am at the

computer, I try to ignore how I feel. What I do find relaxing and takes my mind

off of everything is the fact that I love to read and send on many things that

are either fun or uplifting. I enjoy cleaning up the many emails I get and then

sharing them with others in hopes they will either make someone smile or touch

them in some way. I do read the posts every day and try to keep up with

everyone which I must admit is getting hard to do because so many of the ones

who used to post regularly do not post any more than I do at this time. Judi

and Tess are ones that I enjoy immensely and look forward to their posts.

and a, the two of you still have the most informative information there is

anywhere. I have taken many things to my doctor and she always takes and reads

them. The information you posted on the Ultracet and in talking it over with my

doctor is what finally helped me to make a decision to

start using it. Thank you for taking the time to answer everyone's question

and keeping us up to date. I keep all of you in positive thoughts and prayers

everyday. This support group has done more for me than any thing my doctor has

said, unless it was for her to back up what I have read and confirm.

Debs...it is so good to see you posting again. Thank you for the card you sent

me during the holidays. I had planned to send out cards to everyone including

other friends but because of being so ill with this flu I did not. I will be

sending them out when I begin to feel like I can sit for a length of time and

concentrate on addressing the cards. I'm sorry you are still having this pain

and wish there were doctors for you that would stop this cycle that has been

going on with your knee. You are in my mind with daily thoughts and prayers.

Tess....I hope your deciding to go ahead with the surgery will be a good thing

for you. I know several who have had it and I think only one who had any

problems of consequence and that was because she chose not to follow the

directions and rules that must be followed for at least two years. I think what

you have done to date has been tremendously successful for you because you not

only made your body better but matured your thinking about your body and how to

treat it from now on. I wish all of us had the the same fortitude to do the

same, especially me.

I miss the Kathy's and , Heidi, Carol, and the many more who though they

have not forgotten the support group have things that keep them busy. Thank you

all for reporting in ever so often so I know how you are doing. I feel I have

some of the best friends in the world even though we have never met. Which

reminds me....what happened to the plan for everyone to get together at one

location this year to meet? We were going great guns and then nothing more.

I am going to close for now because I need to go lie down again. Please know

that I do think of each and everyone of you and everytime I read the posts, I

look for one just from you.

Take care, All

Jan in CA =^..^=

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "