Re: Another True Story

[Guest guest]

Maddie:

This was another beautiful story -- thank you!

Kris

[Guest guest]

When I was five years old, my sister took me to school with her one

day. Back then, that was allowed so that kids could get a preview of

what school would be like. As the school day progressed, I had to use

the bathroom. When I told my sister, she said, " Wait until recess. "

I tried to wait until recess, but realized that I couldn't wait any

longer. By that time my sister was up front doing math problems on the

blackboard. So I had to shout, " I'VE GOT TO PEE! " " Pee " was not a word

for polite company in those days, but I hadn't yet learned that lesson.

Everyone in the room heard me. Of course my sister was mortified. The

teacher gave her permission to take me to one of the outhouses outside,

as the school did not yet have indoor bathrooms.

As soon as we got outside, I squatted down and peed. My sister didn't

even see me. She was ahead of me, making her way to the outhouse. When

we got there, she said, " NOW PEE! " " I already have, " I said. Naturally

this made her even madder at me, and I still haven't heard the last of

it.

When I try to tell this story orally, I always get too tickled to

finish it. When I get together with my three brothers and two sisters,

this is one of the many reminiscences of our shared history that we

tell and retell.

And now that I've told all of you, I guess I'm gonna have to kill you.

heheehe

Sue

On Friday, March 5, 2004, at 07:39 PM, wrote:

> LOL, Jennie! Good question!

>

> This story reminds me of so many others.

>

> There was Gelderman in my first grade class who got his tongue

> stuck on the downspout near the playground. The nuns were dismayed (and

> a bit ticked off). The fire department was called. It was not unlike

> that scene in " The Christmas Story. "

>

> Then there was the time my second child, , got a jellyfish sting

> in Hawaii after stepping on a Portuguese man o' war in the shallow

> ocean

> water. Relatives and the locals urged his father to pee on his rapidly

> swelling foot. I'm sure he's been traumatized for life. Or at least I

> was, LOL.

>

> Then there was my own bladder emergency on the " other side " of the

> Grand

> Canyon. We drove for miles and hours without seeing much of anything.

> Finally, I could wait no longer. My ex pulled to the side of the road

> and he and the children dutifully tried to soften the less neeed pages

> of our Rand McNally road atlas for makeshift toilet paper.

>

> My youngest, , who was about four at the time, was the only one

> who

> was not giving me any kind of privacy. I was trying to hide behind my

> open car door, all the while on the lookout for snakes or scorpions. I

> was sure my bare butt was fair game for any creature. was just

> too

> curious. He kept trying to look around the door and could see the

> growing puddle. He told everyone else in the car and any who would

> listen later that " it was a large amount. " Here we are seven years

> later

> and the story is still told with many embellishments.

>

>

>

>

> I'll tell you where to go!

>

> Mayo Clinic in Rochester

> http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

>

> s Hopkins Medicine

> http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

>

>

> [ ] Re: And What Was Your Most Embarrassing First

> Date?

>

>

>> BUT, was there a second date?

>>

>>

>>>

>>> We have all had dates..but this takes the cake.

>>>

>>> This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays ..This

>> was on the " Tonight Show " with Jay Leno.

>>> Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first

>> date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first

>> date experience.

>>> There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the

>> prize! Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and

>> the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip

>> (no overnight). No, not Marilyn. They were strangers, after all, and

>> truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively

>> uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They

>> were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to

>> realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

>>> They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in

>> the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold

>> it,which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy

>> snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he

>> had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the

>> front seat of his car.

>>> They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked

>> her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she

>> didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear

>> fender to steady herself.

>>> Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic

>> and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she

>> could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather

>> embarrassing nature of the situation.

>>> Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another

>> sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady

>> discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.

>> Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind

>> as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

>>> It was quickly apparent that she had a new problem due to the

>> extreme cold.

>>> Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered

>> her date's concerns about " what was taking so long " with a reply

>> that indeed,she was " freezing her butt off and needed some

>> assistance " !

>>> He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her

>> sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst

>> out laughing.She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed

>> to compose themselves,they assessed her dilemma.

>>> Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were

>> faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot

>> to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

>>> Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the

>> first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to

>> get her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date

>> proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

>>> As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down...or

>> perhaps that should be " pants down. " And you thought your first date

>> was embarrassing.

>>>

>>> This gives a whole new meaning to being " pissed off " .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Funny, Sue! Isn't it something that incidents like that seem to have

happened just yesterday. And people don't seem to forget what we wish

they would either, LOL.

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

[ ] Re: And What Was Your Most Embarrassing First

> > Date?

> >

> >

> >> BUT, was there a second date?

> >>

> >>

> >>>

> >>> We have all had dates..but this takes the cake.

> >>>

> >>> This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays ..This

> >> was on the " Tonight Show " with Jay Leno.

> >>> Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first

> >> date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first

> >> date experience.

> >>> There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the

> >> prize! Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite

cold...and

> >> the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip

> >> (no overnight). No, not Marilyn. They were strangers, after all,

and

> >> truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively

> >> uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They

> >> were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to

> >> realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

> >>> They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in

> >> the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold

> >> it,which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy

> >> snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he

> >> had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the

> >> front seat of his car.

> >>> They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked

> >> her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she

> >> didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear

> >> fender to steady herself.

> >>> Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic

> >> and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she

> >> could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather

> >> embarrassing nature of the situation.

> >>> Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another

> >> sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady

> >> discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.

> >> Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind

> >> as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

> >>> It was quickly apparent that she had a new problem due to the

> >> extreme cold.

> >>> Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered

> >> her date's concerns about " what was taking so long " with a reply

> >> that indeed,she was " freezing her butt off and needed some

> >> assistance " !

> >>> He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her

> >> sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst

> >> out laughing.She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed

> >> to compose themselves,they assessed her dilemma.

> >>> Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were

> >> faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot

> >> to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

> >>> Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the

> >> first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to

> >> get her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date

> >> proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

> >>> As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down...or

> >> perhaps that should be " pants down. " And you thought your first

date

> >> was embarrassing.

> >>>

> >>> This gives a whole new meaning to being " pissed off " .

> >

> >

> >