Re: GRIEF/CFIDS/ME/FM

[Guest guest]

On Jun 21, 2012, at 9:51 PM,

jo Reynolds wrote:

> I was having a heart problem in 2oo8 about 3:30a.m. ...

> By nearly 4:30 a.m. after feeling like 'The Alien' was in my chest, I phoned

my mother to say i thought i could be having a heart attack. She ... said' It's

still dark out! What do you want me to do about it?' I thought 'OOOKAAAYY,

YOU'RE ON YOU'RE OWN!'

> Curious to know if any of you have had similar 'hi points' along the path.

Would also like to hear how anyone has felt if living alone dealing with one of

the above issues.

While visiting a friend overnight who suffers same conditions as me, I

experienced horrible chest pains.

I thought maybe I was having a heart attack. But I noticed I could breathe. So,

maybe no heart attack. Couldn't sleep, couldn't find a comfortable position for

a really long time, maybe 2 hours or so.

Since I could breathe, I concentrated on breathing while telling myself I could

survive whatever this was. And that I understand this pain was just passing

through me. And that I was open to whatever messages the pain had for me.

Eventually I fell asleep and dreamed a " visitation " dream with loved ones who

had died recently. Much more like a visit than a dream. They were wonderful

visits in ways these loved ones were not in life while recognizable as

themselves. .

When I told my friend in the morning about the pain, she asked why didn't you

call for me (in another room down the hall). I said I didm't want to bother her.

But, also, breathing was not inhibited so, I found no reason to bother her. The

visitation dream seems like my reward for being open to whatever might come

next. .

I live alone and have trouble getting things done in and around my home.

Standing, heat as from an oven or doing dishes,or a shower or the sun are all

triggers for symptoms for me. Doing anything may cause a variety of awful

symptoms. So I need help with dishes, trash and recycling, getting things where

they belong in my home. otherwise I watch tv, talk to friends on the phone or

email. Hardly anyone visits except helpers for whom I am grateful.

I now have occasional (supposed to be weekly but it is not) help from having

applied for help in my home from the US Federal agency, Department of

Developmental Disabilities, who, once they approved my application for help,

referred my case to a local quasi-governmental agency, Services Coordination,

for my area.

toni

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