Re: Telling family and friends

[Guest guest]

Sierra,

It really was no be deal to me. I had been sick, in and out of work for

quite some time. It was a relief for me to have a name and a treatment plan put

to my illness. I basicly wing it! If I feel up to doing somethings I do..if

not I stay behind in hotel or go and take a good book or find a nice comfy

place to sit while the others go off and have fun.

I think not telling and trying to keep it a secret would be far worst than

just being honest. People get frustrated and think you are faking ill many

times when you try to hide stuff. Granted not everyone will believe you no

matter

what you tell them, nor will they always understand. I tend to tell those

that ask, " I have Rhematoid Arthritis. " and leave it at that thought I also

have Osteoarthritis as well as fibromyalgia.

If the limitation is for example sun exposure, I simply say " sorry guys I

won't be joining you, doctors orders no sun becuase of a med I am on....I don't

want to ruin my trip. " These days with all the stuff in the media about

various illness most people know that if you are on steriods there is no sun,

its

the same thing with certain antibiotics.

I pretty much tell people on need to know. I don't go around broadcasting

it. But I don't hide it if questioned or asked. I also don't hide limitations,

such as stair climbing, lifting or long standing or walking or sun exposure.

I volunteer during the maching season with my daughters high school marching

band. I travel most of the year with them. When I am feeling well I do

everything like normal. Whn I am not feeling so well I do not volunteer to

tasks

that would cause trouble.

Good luck

toni

In a message dated 2/17/04 11:25:57 AM Central Standard Time,

writes:

> Message: 13

> Date: Tue, 17 Feb 2004 14:04:00 -0000

> From: " snowdrift52003 " <snowdrift52003@...>

> Subject: Telling family and friends

>

> I am finally feeling like I'm ready to start talking about my recent

> RA diagnosis with some (not all) family and friends. However, I find

> it's a hard topic to bring up! Someone recently said she tells people

> on a need to know basis, and that makes sense to me. Today I am

> getting a free massage from a friend who is in massage school, and

> this will be a good chance to tell her. I am taking a summer trip

> with my husband's sisters, and I will need to tell them that I may

> have some activity limitations...I'd be interested in stories

> of " telling " ...how you broke the news to people, reactions you got,

> people you may wish you hadn't told, etc.

>

> Sierra

>

[Guest guest]

Sierra,

That massage sounds wonderful! Enjoy it!

I don't have RA, but I do have Dercum's Disease, and when I had to

start using a cane, I decided to write a letter to certain special

friends in town and at church. I explained what the disease is and

how it affects me, and why I was using a cane. I told them that I

expected to keep doing as much as I could for myself, and that I

appreciated their kind thoughts and support. It really worked out

quite well. Good luck!

Judi