Airline Announcements

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Airline Announcements

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All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight " safety

lecture " and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported.

1. On a Continental Flight with a very " senior " flight attendant crew, the pilot

said, " Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be

turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the

appearance of your flight attendants. "

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2. On landing, the stewardess said, " Please be sure to take all of your

belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something

we'd like to have. "

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3. There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of

this airplane.

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4. " Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us

the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride. "

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5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight

attendant on a Northwest flight announced, " Please take care when opening the

overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, it's sure as hell

everything has shifted. "

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6.From a Southwest Airlines employee: " Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to

Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull

tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to

operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.

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7.In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the

ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have

a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with

theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.

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8.Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll

try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves

you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines. "

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9. " Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an

emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our

compliments. "

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10. " Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead area.

Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or

other adults acting like children. "

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11. " As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Any

thing left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please

do not leave children or spouses. "

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12. And from the pilot during his welcome message: " Delta airlines is pleased

to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none

of them are on this flight! "

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "