Life before, and after RA,.....

February 20, 2004

Before I had RA, and lupus, and all the other ugly ailments, I was

such a healthy woman, so full of energy, not bragging but I could

turn heads,lol I had such long thick hair, I was so proud of it. I

was in law inforcement, and loved my job. I was the back bone of my

family, no problem I couldn't handle. I always had problems with

pain in my back, and joints but didn't think much of it. My doctor

would put me on anti-flammatory meds, and tell me it was just

arthritis, at that time he never told me what kind, he never even

checked. I just thought because of a previous back injury, that was

the culprit of my pain.

Then in 2001 my life did a crash and burn. I couldn't hardly go, all

my hair started falling out, I felt so fatiqued all the time, I quit

my job, I couldn't do it anymore. I went to a doctor, and she

started doing all these tests. She diagnosed me with Lupus, but

wanted me to go to a rheumatologist, that took 3 more months. I was

then told that I had RA, lupus, and OP, I was devestated. I cried,

stayed in bed, and asked, " why me. " I have excepted it now, but it's

hard everyday of my life. I am not the same person, and will never

be. I am not the fun loving gal anymore. It has just completly

changed my life, the pain that I have went through the last few

years, never ending gets to be rough. It's hard on my family life,

and I have a lot of stress in that area, so it doesn't help. I have

been on so many meds since being diagnosed, and not much luck with

them, but I have to keep my head up, and keep going. If I can get

relief from meds, I will take them, this struggle is hard anyway,and

if something can ease it, I will do it. As for anti-depressants,

that is something I need in my life. It might not be for everybody,

but it is a light for me. I feel so close to everyone here, and I

just wanted to share my feelings, and how the Ra has effected me. I

sometimes think, where is this going to lead me in the future, but no

one knows, we just have to do the best we can, whatever it may be.

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