Laugh Time ...

[Guest guest]

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. " Is it true, "

she wanted to know, " that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the

rest of my life? "

" Yes, I'm afraid so, " the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, " I'm wondering,

then, just how serious is my condition? This prescription says 'NO REFILLS'. "

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - An older Jewish

gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his

son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the

anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. " Yes, Dad, what is it? " " Don't be

nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if

something happens to me ... your mother is going to come and live with you and

your wife.... "

----------------------------------------- Aging: Eventually you will reach a

point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

------------------------------------------ The older we get, the fewer things

seem worth waiting in line for

------------------------------------------ Some people try to turn back their

odometers. Not me, I want people to know " why " I look this way. I've traveled

a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

-------------------------------------------- How old would you be if you didn't

know how old you are?

---------------------------------------------- When you are dissatisfied and

would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

--------------------------------------------- You know you are getting old when

everything either dries up or leaks.

---------------------------------------------- I don't know how I got over the

hill without getting to the top.

---------------------------------------------- One of the many things no one

tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

---------------------------------------------- Ah, being young is beautiful, but

being old is comfortable.

----------------------------------------------- Old age is when former

classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

---------------------------------------------- If you don't learn to laugh at

trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

-------------------------------------- First you forget names, then you forget

faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to

pull it down.

------------------------------------------- Long ago when men cursed and beat

the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.. Today, it's called golf

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A WELL PLANNED LIFE????

Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.

One asked the other, " You were always so organized in school, Did you manage to

live a well planned life? "

" Yes, " said her friend. " My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second

marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm

married to an undertaker. "

Her friend asked, " What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life? "

" One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go. "