working with disability

[Guest guest]

I was also in nursing school. I finished school, but barely. My clinical

validations teacher was not very patient with me when it was time for me to test

on such things as IVs and such and my fingers were so swollen and mangled I

could not hold a teddy bear much less an IV needle. Mentally my grades

plummeted from As to Cs. I did pass, barely. I was also working as a nurses

aide at the county nursing hom, had been tere nearly 10 years, had NEVER taken a

single sick day and had a wonderful work record. I was almost vested, it was a

county government position. In hindsight I now know what was thought to be a

workers comp torn AC joint and rotator cuff - followed by " malingering " was

really part of my PA + Lupus. I was forced out of my job politically.

I HATE not working- I truly hate it. I am not sure if I will be able to go

back. I left work now 3 years ago. My family depended on me entirely for all

our financial support, so it has been hard financially, too- cuz of 2 disabled

kids, one other kid and disbaled husband. I also dearly miss the personal

fulfillment from work. BUT I am not sure- I sleep SO much now and I have gotten

SO weak and my hands are SO deformed as are my feet. It was the direct personal

patient care I so loved- and that is what I myself now need. I also now

treasure my time with my kids more. I get greedy with it, even, sometimes. I

am gonna take things one small step at a time. I just began MTX a month ago-

lets see how it goes. My nursing license hangs on my wall for me to look at.

My stethoscope hangs there, too- waiting for me to use them. ANd my youngest

child keeps saying mommy please go to school and be a doctor.