My Thanks to All of You For a Meaningful 2003

March 9, 2004

To all my friends, thanks to you sending me chain letters in 2003:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing

toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with

AIDS.

* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I

even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a

perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid

number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and

Tokyo.

* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other

than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so

that places like Mcs can sell their Big Macs.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick

from the rat feces and urine.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for

fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full

of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was

about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7

since 1993...

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that

Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special

e-mail program.

* My cson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation

to Disneyland.

* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke

or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10

seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7pm.

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "

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