The Doctors swear these are true....if not....still a good laugh.

[Guest guest]

A man comes into the ER and yells, " My wife's going to have her baby in the

cab! " I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and

began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several

cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

Dr. Mark Mac, San , TX

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly

deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. " Big breaths, " I instructed. " Yes,

they used to be, " remorsefully replied the patient. Dr. Byrnes,

Seattle, WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband

had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I

heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a " massive

internal fart. "

Dr. Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

During a patient's two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he

informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

" Which one? " I asked. " The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every

six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it! " I had him quickly

undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty

patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch

before applying a new one.

Dr. St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, " How long have

you been bedridden? " After a look of complete confusion she answered, " Why, not

for about twenty years--when my husband was alive. "

Dr. Swanson, Corvallis, OR

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, " So, how's your breakfast

this morning? " " It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to

get used to the taste, " the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and

the woman produced a foil packet labeled KY Jelly. "

Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

And Finally . . . .

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing

female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a

habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this

exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from

his work and sheepishly said, " I'm sorry. Was I tickling you? " She replied, " No

doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Meyer

Wiener'. "

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "