Guest guest Posted March 18, 2004 Report Share Posted March 18, 2004 ------------------------------------------ Helpful Tips for Idiots * Don't throw a brick straight up. * Don't take naps in the road. * Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them. * Don't microwave yourself. * Shovels are for digging holes in the ground, not the floor of your house. * When using an acetylene torch, don't feel the flame to see if it's sufficiently hot. * Walking barefoot in the sand is good. Walking barefoot on a cactus is bad. * If you're on a ball field and someone shouts " Heads up! " don't actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck. * No matter how tempting it is to be one with nature, stay on the outside of all fences at the zoo. * When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat end. ~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere. " ~ ~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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