Someone tell me what is going on ...

[Guest guest]

please dont take this any farther hes showing all signs of no honesty or

trust look at this post and youll see ok god bless cindy

[Guest guest]

,

I think in your heart you know what is going on..but for whatever the reason

you don't want to deal with it. Its sad but Fred is using you and it appears

any other women he is coming into contact with.

This is a pretty common thing with men in jobs that they are constantly

travelling. Not to say all men are bad..just a small group, seem to enjoy using

women! I have seen this happen time and time again as a military spouse, and I

have a few family members that are involved in long distance trucking.

, you are worth far more that this to step down to this mans level. I

would cut Fred loose. I would also see a therepist if you are having a

difficult time dealing with this as well as the constant flare you are in. I

would

suspect all the emotional termoil is not helping your health. My next step

would be to see your GYN or local health clinic and get a through check-up,STD

screaning as well as HIV test.

I think Fred has probably been having sex with a lot of different women in

many of the places he stops with his truck. This could really be dangerous for

you with your Lupus. Fred sounds like the classic male charmer. He showers

women with what they want to hear and how they want to be treated. It is all a

game to Fred. Its about the conquest. Now that he has achieved his goal you

are no longer high on the list. He knows he has you and can string you

along..and now has moved on to a new conquest.

, I hope you can get help to get through this and move on with your

life. There are wonderful, honest and geniune men out there. They are hard to

find. But you are far better than to be abused by the likes of " fred " . Good

luck.

Toni

In a message dated 3/28/04 5:52:16 AM Central Standard Time,

writes:

> Message: 9

> Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2004 22:29:00 -0800 (PST)

> From: Fiusha <rachmariedan0582@...>

> Subject: Someone tell me what is going on ...

>

> Dear Members,

>

> I haven't posted in a bit ... there is this dilemma that I'm going through

> and I need help on figuring it out. I really don't know what's going on.

> Maybe I do but just don't want to admit it to myself. This calls for a long

> post but I'm try to keep it short and sweet. I just need anyone's advice on

> what I should and exactly what's going on to begin with.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , first let me say, you are not bad. A little naive perhaps. Most of

us, at one time or another, have had a " Fred " in our lives. I have counseled

many girls over the years and at age 72 I have heard and seen it all. Drop him

immediately, hurt like hell for the time it takes, cry if you have to but you

will get over it. Take comfort in the fact that you did, for a time, enjoy a

sexual encounter but reality is, that is all it was. Time to move on. Every day

look in the mirror and say " I am such a good person, I deserve so much better "

and I WILL find someone who is honest and respects me. Keep yourself busy and

remember there are a thousand or more " Freds " out there just waiting and this

particular one is no different than the rest. If you feel you need to talk

more, we are here to help.

Hugs

June

[Guest guest]

Sorry about what you've been going through with this scoundrel, .

I have to agree with the others who have said that you should dump him.

I would sever all ties with him. He is toxic.

Also, you don't need to add an STD to your troubles.

You deserve someone honest and respectful of you. There are many great

guys out there. Please don't settle for less!

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

[ ] Someone tell me what is going on ...

> Dear Members,

>

> I haven't posted in a bit ... there is this dilemma that I'm going

through and I need help on figuring it out. I really don't know what's

going on. Maybe I do but just don't want to admit it to myself. This

calls for a long post but I'm try to keep it short and sweet. I just

need anyone's advice on what I should and exactly what's going on to

begin with.

>

> * Sigh * About three years ago I met this truck driver offline named

'Fred'. He seemed like such a great guy and so down to earth. We

chatted online only one time and decided to continue our friendship on

the phone. After conversating over the phone for a month we decided to

meet each other.

>

> He was so great too. I mean ... he was tall and handsome. Most of

all he was single. He seemed like an honest man trying to make his own

way in this world. In May of 2001 we met at a park. We talked until

5am that next morning. That following day we talked again until 5am the

next morning. He was so great.

>

> That second night when I got home I received a call on my cell at 5 in

the morning. Ha. It was his live in GIRLFRIEND of eight years. Come to

find out he was lying the whole time about being single. You'd think

that I would've just left him alone after that. No. I continued to

have a relationship with him and shamefully it turned into a sexual one

despite him having a gurl already. I know ... I'm really bad and I

regret that ever starting.

>

> But this continued on for about four months when his gurlfriend

decided that she had enough of seeing me. He decided to stay with her.

Ever since then 'Fred' and me have been talking off and on. Him and his

gurlfriend, 'Kendall', eventually broke up. So we've been getting

together off and on since then.

>

> About a year ago, 'Fred' met this gurl named '' and they've

been dating steadily ever since then. Now he's talking about marrying

this gurl. I don't know if it's true or not. It's so depressing to

hear if it is. He lies so much ... I don't know what is fact or

fiction. He gets mad at me when I ask how are things going with this

new gurl, but when I act like I couldn't care less he starts talking

about how he's thinking about asking her to marry him. I don't get it.

>

> I have Lupus and since October of last year I've been in a real bad

flare. It costed me my job. Since I've been out of work I've steadily

been talking to 'Fred' but we haven't done anything besides chatting on

the phone. He seemed like he was really trying to be my friend. He was

telling me that he wasn't sure about marrying '' because he feels

that he might miss out on the gurl who is really right for him.

>

> He is constantly confusing me. I don't know how read him. He's so

fickle. Well, my last encounter with him he was dropping hints that he

wanted to get something sexual going again. It's been months since

we've done anything, and the last time we did something it was ...

disasterous but that's another long post. I finally let him know that

it would be okay with me this time because I miss him a lot.

>

> He was doing all this talking on the phone making it seem like we were

going to have a little something going on. He's a truck driver,

remember? When we last talked he said that he had to run into the truck

stop to get something then he would give me a call back when he got back

to his truck. I said that he couldn't do me much good over the phone

and that I wanted him to call me when he got into town.

>

> I don't think that he liked me saying that too much because he kind of

hesistated in saying bye. Well, he usually comes home on the weekend

and the weekend finally rolls around. No call from 'Fred'. I give him

a call and he tells me that he's in S.C. and that he would be in Atlanta

in two hours. He would know when he got to the Big A when he would be

in on his way home. We live in southern Georgia, three hours south of

Atlanta.

>

> He said that he would call me back in two hours. Two hours come and

go. No call from 'Fred'. I give hime a call later on in the day and

leave a voice message for him to call me back on a different phone

number. No call from 'Fred'. I call him back again four hours later

and he still doesn't answer his phone. Later on ... no call from

'Fred'.

>

> Can someone tell me what's going on? Everything was going fine and

now he's avoiding me for some reason. Did I do something wrong? What

the heck is going on?

>

> -.

[Guest guest]

Hello:

I would change my phone number and forget him, he is not for you.

[Guest guest]

unfortunatly they don't always care who they hurt. i had a guy like that told

me he was seperated. we had a sexual relationship for 2 years and he went

home and sent me an e-mail and signed it with a different name. he still claims

that this is all that he lied about and everything else he told me was the

same. ( i cried for weeks, thinking he was laying a home in bed with his wife)

we

still talk online sometimes. he talks about coming out, but something almost

always comes up.(it was the first time i fell in love after my husband died. so

it really hurt) i have moved on and see another guy now atleast twice a week

for over a year now.(still very casual, but sexual) he still talks about

coming out. but i don't care anymore. i am having a great time. i hope someday

you

will find someone you can trust and love you for who you are. atleast you met

him and he was a man!!! i had a friend who fell for a guy and later found out

it was a girl, just pretending. kathy in il

[Guest guest]

--- In , Fiusha <rachmariedan0582@y...>

wrote:

> I hate I said anything because I feel like such a complete nut now.

Actually this is a great place to get feedback, because no one knows

you. Be strong!

Sierra

[Guest guest]

, you aren't a fool or a nut. Try hard to find a way to love and

respect yourself - you are worth it!

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

[ ] Re: Someone tell me what is going on ...

> Dear Kind Members,

>

> Thanks for being blunt ... that's what I needed. I guess I can answer

my own questions. He hasn't called because he doesn't want to call. I

know that he is stringing me along. I thought that I had the upper hand

this time around though. I'll be the first one to call me a fool, but I

just fell prey to a charmer.

>

> I still have strong feelings for him. I remember back in the day when

I gave up my job to go on the road with him full time. I did a lot of

things to please him. And I wonder why he doesn't want me. I could

never understand it because all I ever did was do exactly what he wanted

me to do. Yet and still that wasn't enough.

>

> I've been tested for HIV and I don't have that. But I do admit that

he's given me the same STD on three different occasions. It was

curable, but he said that I got that from some other man. Like I said,

I'll be the first one to call me a fool. I just believed him when he

said that he got that checked out and he was cured of it also.

>

> I hate I said anything because I feel like such a complete nut now.

Since I've become so sick it's really humbled me ... my views on myself

and life. I've changed. And he was trying to convince me that he had

changed himself. I was just so confused because I was thinking ... if

things are so great with '' why does 'Fred' keep calling me, you

know?

>

> * Sigh * It doesn't matter now, and I know it's been time to move on.

I'm just really sick now ... and I'm lonely. I wanted someone to be

there for me while I'm going through this terribly hard time, so I went

back to what I thought was the last best thing, 'Fred'. Well, enough of

that. Thank you everyone so much for listening to me ramble on about

this useless entity I document in my journal. I do appreciate it.

>

> -.