's Smile

[Guest guest]

’s Smile

The day was May 11, 1999 I was excited yet scared for what was to come. I was

scheduled to go into the Hospital at 7:00 p.m. to be induced. I was two weeks

over due and ready. In only five short hours the said “ It’s a boy”. I was over

joyed; I already had a wonderful two and a half-year-old little girl and I hoped

for a boy this time. Silence in the room and then whispers in the corner

shattered my joy. I screamed out “what’s wrong with my baby”. The doctors asked

a few stupid questions and then I got to hold him briefly, he was beautiful. I

barley got to hold him at all when they took him away to the neonatal ICU.

A couple hours later they wheeled me down to see him. I didn’t see anything

wrong with him; all I saw was a gorgeous baby boy in which we named .

With still no information for my husband or me they brought me back to my room.

A doctor came in shortly after that and explained that they believe what

had is a rare genetic skin disorder called Epidermolysis Bullosa (E.B.

for short). The only thing to enter my mind at that moment was fear. Fear of

losing him before I ever got a chance to know him.

No one really answered any of our questions; instead they ask us if it would be

okay to transfer him to another hospital that had more knowledge of this

disorder. We agreed and I packed up my stuff, hopped in my car and was admitted

into the same hospital that he was so I could be with him.

After getting settled there a neonatal doctor entered my room with some answers

for us. She said in a very blunt and to the point way “ your son will have a

really hard life, filled with pain and hardship due to this. He could blister by

the slightest touch or trauma to his skin”. I thought to myself would I ever get

to hold or touch my son, and if I can will I hurt him.

I then left alone while family went home. I must have cried for hours sitting by

the incubator. I was not able to touch or hold him and tell him it would be all

right. This all happened only 12 hours after his birth. I was tired and hurting,

but was unable to rest. A specialist entered my room as I tried to relax a

little; he told me that he would need to take a biopsy to confirm their

suspicions. I then asked, “ can I ever hold him”. To my relief he said, “ Of

course you can as soon as I finish”.

I picked him up, looked straight into his eyes and he smiled. At that point my

fear turned to joy and I knew no matter what we had to go through in his life we

would be all right.

A baby’s smile can do wonders, but when smiles even at times when he is

in pain it gives my the strength and courage to face another day.

By Gionfriddo

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "