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Re: Ron/I need to vent

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Hi Ron,

Have you looked into Meals on Wheels for your mom, so at least you know she is

getting the nourishment she needs daily. It could cut down on the grocery bill.

I haven't used it, but I think it is one meal a day that they deliver, so you

could make her favorite things for the other meals. This is Michigan's Meal on

Wheels web:

http://www.mealcall.org/meals-on-wheels/mi/index.htm  They have some  other

links for daily help and caregivers that might be helpful too. Just a thought. I

hope you find some answers to help you.

Jan

________________________________

To: lbdcaregivers

Sent: Sunday, November 2, 2008 5:34:39 PM

Subject: I need to vent

I try to be optimistic.I try my best to believe that something good can happen,

Ive prayed and Ive begged for some kind of easier way without putting mom in a

nursing home.Im not by nature a depressed person.I dont even get any results

from the anti depressants Ive tried.Im so fed up with life right now it makes me

feel sick.

My brother borrowed my car friday.I let him because he promised to help me with

gas and mom and I are barely making it right now.He brought it back in the

middle of the night.He had texted and said that he went and got a dog, the dog

had a bm in my car and it made him throw up in it.He didnt even have the decency

to tell me in person, he promised to clean it the next morning, he even has the

keys to it still.Ive texted and my car still sets out there with bm and vommit

in it and I cant even get in.Im supposed to pay bills tomorrow and moms car is

broke down so her and I have no transportation. I figured out the bills.After

everything is payed we have 40 to 60 dollars for groceries and gas and anything

she may need.Im losing this battle.My family dodge me like the plague.The only

real life friend I have in my life outside of people online ignored me all day

yesterday.Her and I text throughout the day, see eachother when we can and call

two or three times a

day.Yesterday on her day off she ignored every call and text.Im used to it from

family thats the treatment I get because they dont want to help but that hurt

pretty bad.I asked my other brother to tape the boxing that was on last night

for me so I could watch it sometime, he gave me the cold shoulder.

ALL I EVER DID WAS CARE ABOUT MOM.IVE SPREAD MYSELF VERY THIN BUT I DONT FEEL

LIKE I DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS.I realize its depressing to know me

because I have a very deprtessing life, but I dont deserve to be treated like

dirt.I dont have much faith left for the human race.I see people as a bunch of

cold hearted animals and Im sick of them.I will make it to the end of moms

journey and I will know in my heart I truly did all I could.But the people

around me could be on fire and as far as Im concerned I will walk around them as

to not get burnt.Im sorry if this changes peoples oppinion of me.

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When things seem to look good, sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a

locomotive.

Ron, it seemed like things were going so well with your new friend and a little

family help here and there.

How is your sister doing? I hope she has recovered from her extreme pain. I

think it was Elaine that pointed out that sometimes family see things in a

different light and our own misery can be brought on by the choices we make. And

your family could view your choice of taking care of your  mom as your choice

and it wouldn't be their choice and they shouldn't be forced to do what they

didn't choose to do, so since you picked it you're stuck with it, no matter how

wrong it seems that they wouldn't want what is best for your mom. That is the

point of view that Jim's kids took. No matter how I cried for help, they were

not going to be a part of it. It's a very rough road to go down on your own,

because as you have experienced your own health goes down too and you need to be

the best that you can be for your mom, since you are all she's got right now.

Maybe if she was in a nursing home her other children would visit more often.

Since I put Jim in the nh

his kids come to visit, because they aren't feeling the tension I was putting

on them, because at  home if at all they came to visit, they felt pressured to

help. It's a vicious cycle trying to get others to see it's for the better of

the person to stay at home and it breaks families up. Very few have the ideal

family help and support.

Don't let yourself sink into the abyss, it's very hard to get out of, it's like

" Quicksand "  Think positive thoughts and try not to blame others for not seeing

your view. We are all different and see things differently, that's what makes

the world go round. You may have to rethink things and take a different

approach. Sometimes things don't work out the way we plan them or what we see as

ideal.

My heart breaks to hear you so down and I hope that you can find satisfaction

somehow in the care of your dear mom.

Supportive Hugs...................Jan

________________________________

To: LBDcaregivers

Sent: Monday, November 3, 2008 5:57:41 AM

Subject: Re: I need to vent

heard this from an old friend " when God closes a door he opens a

another door- but sometimes the hallway is hell "

>

> Ron........I' m so sorry to hear this. I am sad for you. I just know

there is a reason for everything even when we don't believe it and

don't see what the reason is. Others will have to live with their

guilt. You won't.

>

>

>

> http://knittingdoc. wordpress. com

> I need to vent

>

>

> I try to be optimistic.I try my best to believe that something

good can happen, Ive prayed and Ive begged for some kind of easier

way without putting mom in a nursing home.Im not by nature a

depressed person.I dont even get any results from the anti

depressants Ive tried.Im so fed up with life right now it makes me

feel sick.

> My brother borrowed my car friday.I let him because he promised

to help me with gas and mom and I are barely making it right now.He

brought it back in the middle of the night.He had texted and said

that he went and got a dog, the dog had a bm in my car and it made

him throw up in it.He didnt even have the decency to tell me in

person, he promised to clean it the next morning, he even has the

keys to it still.Ive texted and my car still sets out there with bm

and vommit in it and I cant even get in.Im supposed to pay bills

tomorrow and moms car is broke down so her and I have no

transportation. I figured out the bills.After everything is payed we

have 40 to 60 dollars for groceries and gas and anything she may

need.Im losing this battle.My family dodge me like the plague.The

only real life friend I have in my life outside of people online

ignored me all day yesterday.Her and I text throughout the day, see

eachother when we can and call two or three times a

> day.Yesterday on her day off she ignored every call and text.Im

used to it from family thats the treatment I get because they dont

want to help but that hurt pretty bad.I asked my other brother to

tape the boxing that was on last night for me so I could watch it

sometime, he gave me the cold shoulder.

> ALL I EVER DID WAS CARE ABOUT MOM.IVE SPREAD MYSELF VERY THIN BUT

I DONT FEEL LIKE I DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS.I realize its

depressing to know me because I have a very deprtessing life, but I

dont deserve to be treated like dirt.I dont have much faith left for

the human race.I see people as a bunch of cold hearted animals and Im

sick of them.I will make it to the end of moms journey and I will

know in my heart I truly did all I could.But the people around me

could be on fire and as far as Im concerned I will walk around them

as to not get burnt.Im sorry if this changes peoples oppinion of me.

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Ron,

It sounds like today you took charge and got things done.

Good job on talking to your brother and straightening him out. I hope he did a

good job

cleaning your car.

I hope you get some help soon. Taking care of someone with LBD can quickly get

to be

too much for just one person.

Ron you are plenty smart it's just that forms are hard to fill out unless you

know what they

really want.

Good luck,

in Dallas

> >

> > Ron........I' m so sorry to hear this. I am sad for you. I just know

> there is a reason for everything even when we don't believe it and

> don't see what the reason is. Others will have to live with their

> guilt. You won't.

> >

> >

> >

> > http://knittingdoc. wordpress. com

> > I need to vent

> >

> >

> > I try to be optimistic.I try my best to believe that something

> good can happen, Ive prayed and Ive begged for some kind of easier

> way without putting mom in a nursing home.Im not by nature a

> depressed person.I dont even get any results from the anti

> depressants Ive tried.Im so fed up with life right now it makes me

> feel sick.

> > My brother borrowed my car friday.I let him because he promised

> to help me with gas and mom and I are barely making it right now.He

> brought it back in the middle of the night.He had texted and said

> that he went and got a dog, the dog had a bm in my car and it made

> him throw up in it.He didnt even have the decency to tell me in

> person, he promised to clean it the next morning, he even has the

> keys to it still.Ive texted and my car still sets out there with bm

> and vommit in it and I cant even get in.Im supposed to pay bills

> tomorrow and moms car is broke down so her and I have no

> transportation. I figured out the bills.After everything is payed we

> have 40 to 60 dollars for groceries and gas and anything she may

> need.Im losing this battle.My family dodge me like the plague.The

> only real life friend I have in my life outside of people online

> ignored me all day yesterday.Her and I text throughout the day, see

> eachother when we can and call two or three times a

> > day.Yesterday on her day off she ignored every call and text.Im

> used to it from family thats the treatment I get because they dont

> want to help but that hurt pretty bad.I asked my other brother to

> tape the boxing that was on last night for me so I could watch it

> sometime, he gave me the cold shoulder.

> > ALL I EVER DID WAS CARE ABOUT MOM.IVE SPREAD MYSELF VERY THIN BUT

> I DONT FEEL LIKE I DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS.I realize its

> depressing to know me because I have a very deprtessing life, but I

> dont deserve to be treated like dirt.I dont have much faith left for

> the human race.I see people as a bunch of cold hearted animals and Im

> sick of them.I will make it to the end of moms journey and I will

> know in my heart I truly did all I could.But the people around me

> could be on fire and as far as Im concerned I will walk around them

> as to not get burnt.Im sorry if this changes peoples oppinion of me.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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