A blue day

[Guest guest]

Not sure what is the matter with me but I am in a definite funk. I

usually get down when the sun isn't out but it goes away. Too many

things going on this time.

My BIL has settle down some and is making my niece help out. She

pouts though afterwards and that doesn't help my mood. He is trying

though.

Everyone in the house is complaining that could be part of the

problem too. Jay complains about work. Rodger complains about work

and his women problems. complains about her father not

taking her down to ee each weekend that he promises. In his

defense his truck did break down and he did need to get some things

taken care of.

What is hard though is that there are no good words or feelings

around and I need some sunshine inside the house to help me. I am

down and they are taking me lower.

My lawyer called...first his secretary tells me that the girl who hit

me - her insurance company has tendered the maximum of her policy -

$100,000...great - NO - the lawyer will take his 1/3, $33,333 and the

doctor's who have liens against the settlement for my care - their

bill adds up to $82,000 - that leaves me $14,667 in debt...

What you say... Well the lawyer called today and said that my

insurance company is willing to pay $25,000 for under insured policy

max - my lawyer will take 8,333 leaving 14,666...I am only a $1 in

debt.

What you say... That is what I say...wait a minute. I was doing

great last year. Getting ready to be released by my PT. My shoulder

was 80% and my neck was fine. My aches and pains were from my RA...I

could handle those. Then I get hit by a car in the rear end. I go

to the hospital on a backboard. I have 2 surgeries and go to PT

again. I have to drive 2 hours each way for this PT so can't do it.

The gas costs too much and it hurts to much so I cance. Good thing I

did or the bill would have been more. I am in agony for months. I

am now in pain from my RA but have pain in my legs and back and hips -

from the accident but nothing at this time can be done.

There is no more money -

I was so hoping for just a little money to pay back my Dad for the

load for the furnace that we had to have and the house needs a major

plumbing rehaul but now - looks like I will pay a dollar out of my

pocket - At least I won't be in debt right.

The doctors get paid $. The lawyers get paid $. I get paid in pain

and anguish.

No wonder I am depressed right. I am thinking of making an

appointment with the VA and seeing a psychiatrist - maybe if he

legally says I am insane that Social Security will pay me the

disability they are denying me.

My Mom said that that is how a friend of hers daughter finally got

them to pay her.

I am an honest - good person - I shouldn't have to go through all

this. Why me?

I promise to be in a better mood next time I post...It is difficult

though - and I thank you all for listening to me whine and cry. My

milk got spilt and there is no one to pick up the mess.

God bless,

Althea