re: very NCC stupidity

[Guest guest]

Hi y'all,

Since I got such a positive response on my blonde jokes, well, here goes

another thing - SOMEBODY STOP ME!

Love,

Jen in New Mexico

>In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through

>stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

>

>On Sears hairdryer:

> " Do not use while sleeping. "

>(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

>

>On a bag of Fritos:

> " You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

>(The shoplifter special.)

>

>On a bar of Dial soap:

> " Directions: Use like regular soap. "

>(And that would be how . . .?)

>

>On some Swann frozen dinners:

> " Serving suggestion: Defrost. "

>(But it's *just* a suggestion.)

>

>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):

> " Do not turn upside down. "

>(Too late!)

>

>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

> " Product will be hot after heating. "

>(As night follows the day . . . )

>

>On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

> " Do not iron clothes on body. "

>(But wouldn't this save more time?) I have actually done this-not too

>effective though

>

>On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:

> " Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this. "

>(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we

>could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts

>and driving those trucks.)

>

>On Nytol Sleep Aid:

> " Warning: May cause drowsiness. "

>(One would hope.)

>

>On most brands of Christmas lights:

> " For indoor or outdoor use only. "

>(As opposed to what?)

>

>On a Japanese food processor:

> " Not to be used for the other use. "

>(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

>

>On Sainsbury's peanuts:

> " Warning: contains nuts. "

>(Talk about a newsflash.)

>

>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

> " Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. "

>(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

>

>On a child's superman costume:

> " Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. "

>(I'm devestated to hear this, one could only hope... .)

>

>On a Swedish chainsaw:

> " Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. "

>(I would love to see the medical claims that prompted this one!)

>

>

>

>

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