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Dear Group,

I have been a mess stressing about my SSDI physical exam by their Dr. My

exam was scheduled for yesterday at 5:30....but they called to reschedule in the

morning. I had to get a ride and get ready so it took me awhile. Then from

rushing around, I took all my medication , but forgot my list of medication

(usualy they just copy the list instead of me writing it out). Well, I had to

write all of the 12+ list of medications - it took me forever- and by the time I

was done my wrist & hand was more red & swollen than usual ( 2 fingers would

not bend). The Dr. was very nice, he said that I had " severe swelling in my

hands ; feet; ankles; knees & shoulders caused by advanced arthritis " . He

also asked me to walk - but he asked me to do this barefoot???? I do not walk

well without shoes and had to struggle to get my shoes back on to be able to do

this part of the exam. I guess I feel strange about this. The Dr. verbally

confirmed what my Dr. says- which I guess is unusual. My sister was with me as

an observer. But I think I actually expected him to argue that NOTHING was

wrong and I could go back to my other life before RA. Funny how our minds

work? I still have a psychological exam on Friday because I take antidepressant

medication. Very frustrating - the whole thing! Through all of this, I still

have not received any LTD payments - they keep putting me off by needing

additional records. I just feel bummed about everything. Everything is a fight

and sometimes I just don't have it .......my body is doing enough of that as it

is. Sorry about the grumpiness.

Gentle Hugs & Prayers for all,

Carol M. in CA

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