WARNING...venting

[Guest guest]

I hope it is ok to vent and let it all out. I have no support group, no family

suppiort and no Dr. support. I was told nothing except to go home and lose

weight, There was no treatment and I wouldn't qualify for transplant. They

don't know what caused it and can't do a biopsy as I am so bad they are afraid

I'll bleed to death. This was from MAYO in Arizona.

I went threre from Ft. , Ar to get a check up since I was 60 yrs old now.

Our entire state is backwards and are responsible for lots of deaths. You can't

sue them because the 'goof ol boy system' is very strong and the attys will not

take any case against the school district (for what they did to my Grandson) or

Doctors as their own family goes there and they don't want to make waves.

Being from California I was totally shocked about this state. I so wish I could

mover and don't want to die here. But my husband won't hear of it after 42 yrs

in job. I feel Arkansas is responsible for not following up on it in 1997 when

first discovered.

When I was diagnosed this summer, it was a complete and total shock. I was

there for 6 weeks at my expense and found out after I left there was a support

group there I could have attended. The liver doctor had his nurse tell me I had

severe liver fribosis and cirrohsis. Nothing else and he was on vacation for 3

weeks. I panicked with no one to help and support me.

Now my venting-hurt-anger:

1. I told my adult kids that I would no longer be someone they could ask for

help and vent to as I didn't need the stress.

And hubby and I agreed we would no longeer be their bank as I might want to go

places. That was Aug. 2011.

Kids are Tracey-41, 38, Ben-33-Becky-31 and Carole Jr-35.

Been unhappily married for 42 yrs.

*** It worked for about 3 months and then became more stress than before.:

Tracey badgered me to eat only green foods, that they knew people lived 20+ yrs.

She still has not told her 7 kids ages 22-3 yrs old. She feels I should do

everything to stay around a few more months,

====I told her that I did NOT want to live a few extra months in pain and

wishing I wasn't already dead.

**Traceys family took a nice 10 day vacation to Newport Bch. They knew I wanted

to go so much and could not afford it.

She put on facebook great photo, great vacation....It hurt me so much I wasn't

there. She says she offered to pay for a ticket out there...but if you know her

you will know she didn't offer to pay for anything.

Now . He has disowned me years ago, but comes around for money. I told

him about my disease and her told me he didn't want my drama in his life and not

to call him and try to make him feel guilty.

This is our Eagle Scout that I worked to get the material things he needed. He

remembers no good, only bad.

I had hoped with a terminal illness he would act like an adult and let the past

be in the past.

No Christmas card etc..no b/d card etc. He called his Dad yesterday and didn't

talk to me.

Ben was a surprise. He has always been ther caring son and thoughtful of me.

As he got older that has changed.

Just last week he decided he could vent on me now. I asked him not to and he

did. I wouldn't answer my phone so he would text me or just show up at our

home.

His complaints he shared with me:

1. His first wife claimed their 2 kids on their taxes. They have an agreement

that he claims them, but her new husband is something else and did it and didn't

tell Ben.

===Ben owes us money we were counting on for my hubby and I to travel a bit.

Now he wasn't getting the money nor were we. Since I don't know when I will feel

good or not, waiting is not a lot of time I have to do to be paid.

2. His current wifes job reduced everyones pay byt $2 hr and their hours. She

had been doing well in training for management and that was dropped and put back

on dishwasher. They also stopped matching funds with retirement fund, health

insurace increased $100 mo and they wanted them to buy new scrubs the color the

work chose.

===He must of called or texted 10 times a day in a panic. (He is disabled and

can't work but gets a good Soc. Sec. check). He got offended when i turned off

my phone.

3. Two days later his wife is laid off without warning. Around here they do it

in a way they don't have to pay unemployement.

===Now Ben lives in our 1st home when we moved here and pays most of the rent

and utlities. We still pay some because his meek and mild Dad doesn't went to

make waves. One of the first things he did was buy an almost new truck with

$450 payments. And house is $700 and now his $1200 a month isn't looking so

good.

He did get a paper route but didn't plan on keeping it as it is 150 miles in

rural areas and not good on his car.

4. I was selling some electronics online and he had no qualms asking if I would

give it to him. His sister Becky not only asked but had my Grandsons repeatedly

call and ask why they couldn't have it.

==I said no and all hell broke out...stress is horrible now. I remind them to

not stress me, but they don't care.

Becky:

She has 7 livng children. Her 1st husband was a druggie and abuser. We went

through unreals things trying to keep boys safe from him while Becky worked.

After 7 yrs and 6 kids they finally got divorced.

She met her current husband online. He was 10 yrs older than her with no kids

and a drunk., however he had a steady job he never missed going too. He was

calm and meek and mild. Long story short in reality he HATES the boys and

physically throws then around and slaps them, For several years, as the boys

have gotten older, they would tell me the abuse and anger that has.

2 weeks ago I fnally saw it with my own eyes and took out the two I had custody

of. I felt he would never change and after I died he would send them to mental

hospitals or group homes.(Too long to explain this one). I felt something had

to be done before he paralyzed one of the boys by throwing them around and

slamming them to the ground. There was a scuffle between my daughters and then

got into it and so I got out of car to get the 2 boys and Carole Jr in my

car,

==After we left they called in an assault charge on Carole Jr and said that I

was the instigator of it. What they said happened in the report was 95% lies

and incorrect.. I got out of car to gather those going with me into the

car....but I started it?

**Be it mentioned that both parents audio record and video record all fits these

autistic boys throw...or us when we came and got them. will set them off

on purpose and step back and record...talking softly and meekly. I asked him

once whty he did that and he said to have proof of what they do). He doesn't

record his starting it...just what they do. Two of the boys HATE to be

recorded...just part of their autism. I told the boys (ages 11-16) to record

his folks going off. When they tried to the cell got taken away and haven't

been given back.

Since they filed a report I went down and filed one and personally took it to

thr prosecuting atty. I took my daughters one against us as well. We are now

ordered to stay away from each other.

I hate child protective services, but they had told me that the boyd psych was

calling DHS on ME??? I had never heard of such a thing and no telling what the

parents told him. So I called te school and had them file a report of the abuse

and help boys and make sure they are safe as they have no phones now. They

suggested I call as well, so My daughter Carole Jr and I did.

DHS shows up in 2 days at my door and by what she said it sounded like Becky

filed it, not her kids psych,. I felt like I was kicked in the gut. We have

saved her kids an her from al sorts of danger and abuse....all I want is them to

be safe.

My case is still under investigation, and the two filed against them is as well,

but they haven't contacted them.\

I go down the next day to get the 2 social security checks the boys I have

permanent custody of and they get ticked as Becky has just had them changed to

her.

Somehow I tell them about the lies and fraud her and have committed. How

the kids don't have good beds, clothes because she uses to pay their rental and

her new 12 seater van. So Social security FREEZES all money until it is figured

out. I don't think she knows but should soon.

Carole Jr.

She has moved in to care for me anf help with sorting things and gretting things

in order and to help with the boys...She has never been married or have kids.

ENDING AS OF NOW:

1. The only child talking to me is Tracey and Carole Jr. I am being shunned by

Ben, Becky and and not allowed to see my Grandkids that live here

locally.

2. The kids had promised to help me with house and garage back in Aug. It

nevrer got done...

3, MY HUSBAND does not support me. He works 12 hour days, and on his days

off he goes alone and shops etc.

Ben wrote me a txt swearing at me something awful and then all Becky and her

husband did; I asked if he could defend me and set the kids straight? He turns

it to all being my fault and he won't do it because then the kids will disown

him,. I calmly told him I felt abandoned if he wouldn't with me so sick. He

said he heard what I was saying, but wasn't going to do it.

4. He promised to work less....the opposite is true.

He said for me to chill out and relax and quit getting into things with the

kids. Yes...he can defend the kids to me...but not me to them.

So I am waiting to die..after all to my family I already am. I need to write a

will as if I leave it to he will leave it to the kids that have abused me

over the years.

No where to go to and no one to lean on....sigh.

---- Gloria wrote:

=============

Carole

Tonight is a very good example of folks switching their nights and days.  I

live on the very west coast of Canada and I have friends on another site.  One

gal is in Chicago and another is in Oklahoma.  In just the last hour or two,

another 51 emails have come through.  However, I'm not up for reading them as I

feel it's late.  LOL