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Cindi

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Cindi,

I am sorry that your not feeling well at all. You are right, it very

well might be stress, so that is a great idea you have. Just know

that your in my thoughts and prayers, hope you start feeling better

soon, take care Tawny

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Dear Cindi,

I am sorry for your physical pain and the emotional pain that goes along with

it. I also have just

received my SSI disability and I understand the feelings of guilt and loss. The

fact that we look

ok on the outside makes it hard for people that have never experienced these

types of diseases to

understand. I am lucky that my husband is so wonderfully understanding but my

children just don't

get it. We do have to redesign who we are in our fragile feelings. When you

define yourself as

supermom, wife, daughter, and competent career woman and then see it drifting

away and not under

your control, it is hard to stop the guilt feelings. But, we must delve into who

we are and force

our brain to redefine who we are. I need to stop feeling as though I have to

make excuses for why

I can't do things and always trying to explain to everyone. (There goes that

guilt again). Just

remember, if no one else understands, our RA SUPPORT Group does and we are all

here to lend

support to one another. Hugs to you. Iris

--- CINDI <heinscsf@...> wrote:

> HI TAWNY,

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ANSWERING MY POST. IT WAS SO VERY SWEET OF

> YOU. I HAVE BEEN FEELING OKAY AT LEVEL 7 FOR WEEK WITH BAD

> NEUROPATHIC PAIN IN MY FEET, AND A LOT, I MEAN A LOT OF BRAIN FOG.

> I AM STILL GLAD FOR WHAT I CAN DO AND I DID FINALLY GET MY

> DISABILITY WITHOUT ENDING UP IN A HEARING. I JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT

> WHO I AM KNOW, I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS AND SOME GUILT, LOTS OF GUILT,

> SOME SHAME AND EMBARRASSAMENT IN PUBLIC BUT I FEEL VALIDATED BY THE

> SSI APPROVAL. NOW I JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM AND WHAT I CAN

> DO TO CONTRIBUTE TO MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS. I AM SO LIMITED AND

> CAN BARELY WALK AT ALL. I AM VERY HAPPY TO BE IN THIS GROUP, IT HAS

> BEEN A VIRTUAL LIFE SAVER ! YOU ALL UNDERSTAND AND ARE GOING

> THROUGHT THE SAME THINGS I AM. MY FAMILY IS VERY BUSY AND USUALLY

> THE JUST TELL ME TO GO LAY DOWN IN MY ROOM. OR MORE LIKE MY LITTLE

> PRISON CELL.... SO THANK YOU AGAIN FOR TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE AND

> SEE HOW I AM DOING, TAWNY - YOU JUST MADE MY WHOLE DAY WITH YOUR

> KINDNESS.

>

>

>

>

>

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