I need help once again

[Guest guest]

Fran

Step families can suck the big one can't they??  I have lost absolutely

nothing, by not being allowed to have a relationship with my 2 steps

since their father's death.  It's taken me a long time to get there;

because, it was extremely hurtful.  I thought that most intelligent

people honored the age-old phrase " treat others as you would like to be

treated " .  Had to learn that it's definitely not that way with a whole

lot of people.

I can't give you much info that would help you about the lactulose;

except to say, that I did realize that my memory was sharper when I took it. 

However, the side affect of bloating was actually worse than the lost memory. 

Also, it was not working as it should in my case and I'm sure it's

because I've had a lifetime of difficulties with my bowels.  Nothing

serious, hardly ever; but, enough to know that at this time, I was

barking up the wrong tree.

It sure appears to me like you are not going to have much difficulty with

your husband wishes.  The fact that you did go to a lawyer is your

biggest strong suit.  I doubt that any lawyer would have prepared a

will, knowing that one of the parties was not mentally capable of making his

wishes known.  Is there big bucks that these 2 want??

I could tell you a whole big story about my 2 steps and their Dad's death.  It

was extremely horrible!!  There was no place at all where their father's wishes

were discussed at all.  Instead, the daughter controlled her brother and got

exactly what she wanted.  Oh, I had been separated from him for 7 months after

just shy of 21 yrs together.  But, not knowing the extent, I signed over my

rights to his service and that daughter did her level best to make sure that

everybody knew her dislike of me.  In the end, I did not even attend the

service because of the enormous dysfunction going on.  I was almost having a

break-down.  By the time the whole thing was over, his 6 sisters has paired off

in 2's and I believe, the one biatch is not being spoken to by any family now. 

The step-son also cut off contact to his sister again and I really doubt that it

will ever be repaired.

I don't think that it affects her much anyway; because, she was raised to think

that she was better than everyone.  So, she can have her strained marriage, 3

kids and all her " things " .  Sure, she's got a lovely home and the kids want for

nothing; but, far as I was ever concerned, things never mattered more than

people in my life.  I am definitely not mourning the lost relationship with

her.  We were both just pretending at best, for her father's sake.

Oh well...  I've sure learned that I don't understand people very much!  I've

had a very difficult learning curve, ever since I was so sick from Hep C

treatment beginning in 2009.  Then, it didn't even matter to a certain 4

members of his family, that I faced liver cancer surgery 2 months after

completing that treatment.  When my husband died of lung cancer on Christmas

Eve 2010, it was either his heart or the fact that he had lung cancer and only

learned that 3 weeks before.  When I found the CT report later on, I then

realized why he was acting like his evil twin.  However, I could not discuss it

with the 4 family members he was closest with; because, they had a grudge

against me and to this day, I don't know why.  I'm not even sure that they know

he had the lung cancer.  He was just the type of man to tell no one about it. 

I know that his lady friend (LOL) didn't know.  At the end, I guess he was so

lonely that is friendship with a widow

that we both knew well, gave him a little company.  The fact that his kids

tried to tell me that he had a girlfriend ended up backfiring on them big

time.  I sure had the last laugh there.

Hope everything works out for you and don't be pushed around.  Obviously, these

are 2 adult babies are stamping their feet and not worth your time.  You are

well aware of your husband's wishes!!  I know that here in Canada, they would

have a case, perhaps, if their father was well-off and left them nothing.  But,

the very fact that they were included, they wouldn't have much ground to do

anything; but, be annoying.  I also think that they must not have had much

respect for their father.  To stir up a case to contest hiswishes says that to

me.  I would even tell my husband that his 2 didn't respect him either.  If

they did, they would not have caused the trouble they did while I was sick. 

Anyone that knew my husband could have seen that something was wrong.  He

definitely would never have done the things he did for the year before his

death; because, he simply was not that kind of man.  However, obviously they

didn't want to see that something

was up.

Gloria

________________________________

 

Last summer, I came to this group with questions, the wife of a man with

cirrhosis.

Sadly, he passed away in March. Last fall, we hand wrote our wills, but decided

to make it even better with a lawyer to prepare them. We left everything to each

other, our home, automobiles and small SS savings, and who ever survived would

add our collective 7 children from our previous marriages to their revised will.

Sadly again, two of his children decided they didn't want to wait and share with

my four, so they have contested his will, with the allegation he did not have

testamentary capacity due to his amonia levels and dependency on lactulose.

Here is where I need help, is there a member/members here who would be willing

to make a notorized statement(at my expense) as to how lactulose affects them?

As in how they feel mentally before taking it, and afterward?

I have all his hospital records, stating he was a alert and oriented daily after

his initial hospitilization where they added xifaxin to his lactulose. His

amonia level in the ER was 213, down to 39 the next day, and stayed down.

Thank you in advance,

Fran

[Guest guest]

 f_fwb

 My husband has had 6 or so times with hepatic encephalopathy as well.  He is

perfectly normal before and after the episodes with high ammonia levels.

Lactulose is not a drug that you become dependant on like an addiction, it is

used to control the ammonia levels.  High ammonia levels cause a temporary state

of confusion. With out the lactulose there is a possibility of coma/death. There

has been a few times where my husband said he felt funny in his head and now he

takes an extra dose of lactulose when that happens and so far that has worked.

He takes 3 tbsp 3 times a day and a full does when he feels like ammonia levels

are rising or at least that is how he feels. I would get a statement from the Dr

and get a copy his medical records. Its bad enough you lose your partner to this

horrid disease and then to deal with adult children over money! They have no

idea what you have witnessed and suffered through all of this. Where were they

then? I am so sorry you are going through this. It is their father's wishes

they should follow.  In my opinion your Lawyer absoluley would not make a will

up if he suspected your husband was in an altered state of mind.

We also had our wills done the same way except we gave the kids $1.00 each until

the other spouses death. I also have power of attorney. I don't think you would

need notortized statements. 

 Bonnie

[Guest guest]

Smart thinking about the $1.00 each!  That way they are getting something; but,

it makes the will etc airtight.

________________________________

 

 f_fwb

 My husband has had 6 or so times with hepatic encephalopathy as well.  He is

perfectly normal before and after the episodes with high ammonia levels.

Lactulose is not a drug that you become dependant on like an addiction, it is

used to control the ammonia levels.  High ammonia levels cause a temporary

state of confusion. With out the lactulose there is a possibility of coma/death.

There has been a few times where my husband said he felt funny in his head and

now he takes an extra dose of lactulose when that happens and so far that has

worked. He takes 3 tbsp 3 times a day and a full does when he feels like

ammonia levels are rising or at least that is how he feels. I would get a

statement from the Dr and get a copy his medical records. Its bad enough you

lose your partner to this horrid disease and then to deal with adult children

over money! They have no idea what you have witnessed and suffered through all

of this. Where were they

then? I am so sorry you are going through this. It is their father's wishes

they should follow.  In my opinion your Lawyer absoluley would not make a

will up if he suspected your husband was in an altered state of mind.

We also had our wills done the same way except we gave the kids $1.00 each until

the other spouses death. I also have power of attorney. I don't think you would

need notortized statements. 

 Bonnie