MAXINE'S AT IT AGAIN!!!

[Guest guest]

She's at it again! Whatta gal!

1. Maxine on " Driver Safety " - " I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to

keep my hands free for making gestures. "

2. Maxine on " Life " - " Life is like an oven. It burns my buns. "

3. Maxine on " Housework " - " I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an

incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible. "

4. Maxine on " Lawn Care " - " The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I

recommend one who is muscular and shirtless. "

5. Maxine on " Body Piercing " - " I'd get my tongue pierced, but I still have a

little bit of brain left in my head. "

6. Maxine on " the Perfect Man " - " All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I

want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like

a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed. "

7. Maxine on " Work " - " My performance at work has really improved over the

years. Now I can nail a co-worker with a paper-clip shot from a rubber band at

20 yards. "

8. Maxine on " the Technology Revolution " - " My idea of rebooting is kicking

somebody in the butt twice. "

9. Maxine on " Aging " - " Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works

much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita. "

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "