Re: Jealous

[Guest guest]

Becky,

First of all, it's completely inappropriate that your husband is blowing

kisses back at these young women. I'm 22, myself, and before I got too

serious about anything in my life ... I always thought that it was a turn on

to be a home wrecker. I mean, if I could get a married man's attention then

I was the bomb and no one could tell me nothing. Your husband reminds me of

my dad. When my mom mentions something to him that she's seen him do and he

feels guilty for whatever it was, he has a tendency to take his guilt out on

my mom. I feel that he knows he's wrong for doing that.

180lbs is not as fat as fat can get, believe me. I put on 30 lbs because of

Prednisone in 3 months and I was already a little overweight. Try squeezing

into your regular jeans that you've ballooned out of ... talk about

attractive. I guess you feel that these young women have his attention

because they don't have RA like you do and they're ... younger. Since this

is really upsetting you, I'd talk to him about it and he WILL listen to me.

I'd make him listen because that's not right for him to be treating you that

way. If it had of been me, I would've said something to the little skank.

Don't think that the problem lies within you. This is something that your

husband chooses to do. I wish I knew the right words to say to make you

feel better. All I can say is that I sympathize completely with you.

-.

[ ] Jealous

>

> I am really having a problem lately with my jealousy and my husband. I

don't know where this is coming from. Well, yes, maybe I do. I'm 47 years

old, 180 pounds, used to weight 100 soaking wet. I feel fat and ugly and

old. My husband's co-workers (he works in the field and at home but does

have an office for his occasional use in his company) are all young, pretty,

skinny, full of life and do not have RA and all the #% that goes along with

it. We went to a business dinner last week that I really didn't want to go

to and I wish I hadn't. My husband does nothing to come on to any of them

but he looks a lot younger than he is and everyone loves him. He just nice

to everyone. I felt like the old woman in the shoe. I had bought a nice

little pink and black pant suit, fixed up decently, but still felt ugly.

I'm good at small conversation but no one seemed to really care to want to

talk to me unless I started the conversation, then it was just answering me.

When we went to leave, my back was turned as he said goodbye to one of the

young lovelies and I turned around to say goodbye and she was blowing him a

kiss. She wrinkled her pert little nose and giggled. I wanted to smack

her. He told me that they all do that little kiss blowing thing when people

are leaving. I didn't see anyone else do that. It's been 18 years since I

worked in an office and back then that was would have been inappropriate.

He did it back. I didn't say anything until that night and then I let him

have it. I've mentioned it several more times tonight and he said he's sick

of hearing about it. He was going to the grocery store for me and was not

being very patient when I was trying to make my list. I blew him a kiss

goodbye and he got pissed. What is my problem? I trust him, it's not

that. I just feel that I don't fit in with that bunch and really do not

care to be around them at all. I used to work with 40 men in an office

(steel mill) and I don't think he was ever jealous. But, I never did what I

considered flirt with the men. I was more like the sister that gave them

advice for their wives, always took the wives side on anything they told me

and tried to give them a woman's perspective. Sorry this is so long, I

can't believe I'm like this.

>

> Becky

[Guest guest]

Becky,

Please be careful. The root of the problem as you've described it

appears to be self-hatred. Blasting your husband will only make

things worse. Finding ways to feel better about yourself will make

both of you feel better. A confident, self-satisfied woman is

attractive--at any weight and health condition.

Sierra

>

> [ ] Jealous

>

>

> >

> > I am really having a problem lately with my jealousy and my

husband. I

> don't know where this is coming from. Well, yes, maybe I do. I'm

47 years

> old, 180 pounds, used to weight 100 soaking wet. I feel fat and

ugly and

> old. My husband's co-workers (he works in the field and at home

but does

> have an office for his occasional use in his company) are all

young, pretty,

> skinny, full of life and do not have RA and all the #% that goes

along with

> it. We went to a business dinner last week that I really didn't

want to go

> to and I wish I hadn't. My husband does nothing to come on to any

of them

> but he looks a lot younger than he is and everyone loves him. He

just nice

> to everyone. I felt like the old woman in the shoe. I had bought

a nice

> little pink and black pant suit, fixed up decently, but still felt

ugly.

> I'm good at small conversation but no one seemed to really care to

want to

> talk to me unless I started the conversation, then it was just

answering me.

> When we went to leave, my back was turned as he said goodbye to one

of the

> young lovelies and I turned around to say goodbye and she was

blowing him a

> kiss. She wrinkled her pert little nose and giggled. I wanted to

smack

> her. He told me that they all do that little kiss blowing thing

when people

> are leaving. I didn't see anyone else do that. It's been 18 years

since I

> worked in an office and back then that was would have been

inappropriate.

> He did it back. I didn't say anything until that night and then I

let him

> have it. I've mentioned it several more times tonight and he said

he's sick

> of hearing about it. He was going to the grocery store for me and

was not

> being very patient when I was trying to make my list. I blew him a

kiss

> goodbye and he got pissed. What is my problem? I trust him, it's

not

> that. I just feel that I don't fit in with that bunch and really

do not

> care to be around them at all. I used to work with 40 men in an

office

> (steel mill) and I don't think he was ever jealous. But, I never

did what I

> considered flirt with the men. I was more like the sister that

gave them

> advice for their wives, always took the wives side on anything they

told me

> and tried to give them a woman's perspective. Sorry this is so

long, I

> can't believe I'm like this.

> >

> > Becky

[Guest guest]

I'm very sorry, Becky. That's such a difficult spot you're in. Perhaps

counseling would help?

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

[ ] Jealous

>

> I am really having a problem lately with my jealousy and my husband.

I don't know where this is coming from. Well, yes, maybe I do. I'm 47

years old, 180 pounds, used to weight 100 soaking wet. I feel fat and

ugly and old. My husband's co-workers (he works in the field and at

home but does have an office for his occasional use in his company) are

all young, pretty, skinny, full of life and do not have RA and all the

#% that goes along with it. We went to a business dinner last week that

I really didn't want to go to and I wish I hadn't. My husband does

nothing to come on to any of them but he looks a lot younger than he is

and everyone loves him. He just nice to everyone. I felt like the old

woman in the shoe. I had bought a nice little pink and black pant suit,

fixed up decently, but still felt ugly. I'm good at small conversation

but no one seemed to really care to want to talk to me unless I started

the conversation, then it was just answering me. When we went to leave,

my back was turned as he said goodbye to one of the young lovelies and I

turned around to say goodbye and she was blowing him a kiss. She

wrinkled her pert little nose and giggled. I wanted to smack her. He

told me that they all do that little kiss blowing thing when people are

leaving. I didn't see anyone else do that. It's been 18 years since I

worked in an office and back then that was would have been

inappropriate. He did it back. I didn't say anything until that night

and then I let him have it. I've mentioned it several more times

tonight and he said he's sick of hearing about it. He was going to the

grocery store for me and was not being very patient when I was trying to

make my list. I blew him a kiss goodbye and he got pissed. What is my

problem? I trust him, it's not that. I just feel that I don't fit in

with that bunch and really do not care to be around them at all. I used

to work with 40 men in an office (steel mill) and I don't think he was

ever jealous. But, I never did what I considered flirt with the men. I

was more like the sister that gave them advice for their wives, always

took the wives side on anything they told me and tried to give them a

woman's perspective. Sorry this is so long, I can't believe I'm like

this.

>

> Becky

[Guest guest]

We talked tonight and he agreed that it was inappropriate. He said he just

didn't think because that's how most of them act there, also they are all huggy

too. He asked him I thought he was cheating on me and I told him no but I'm not

a ravishing thin beauty anymore and I don't know what he sees in me. I

suggested counseling, at least for me, and he said he would go but doesn't know

what that would change. He said he knows I'm sick and I get grouchy and he gets

aggravated at me but knows it's the way the disease can go. He doesn't know

what counseling will change, I have what I have. He does things that probably a

lot of husbands might not do around the house but I do a lot of things that

maybe wives wouldn't do also. I look at it not as always 50/50 but sometimes

it's 90/10, either direction. He thinks I'm overreacting about everything and

said I'm still the same person as before, just sicker and heavier. I guess it's

me, what's in my head. I'll never go to any work function again and I did tell

him that if I ever see the tart again I will put her in her place. She would

probably enjoy that, though, knowing that she got to me. I'll do it in a way

that will put her down and not look like a jealous wife! I also suggested he

read the book " Odd Girl Out " that explains how girls/woman can be. My

children's 8th grade teacher (male) suggested all parents, boys and girls also,

read this book. He said at the tender age of 44 he had a real eye opening

experience in girls! Us girls can recognize things that men are completely

oblivious to! Thanks to all of you, I appreciate your perspective on this. Now

I have to start working on myself to get my head where it belongs.

Becky

[ ] Jealous

>

> I am really having a problem lately with my jealousy and my husband. I

don't know where this is coming from. Well, yes, maybe I do. I'm 47 years

old, 180 pounds, used to weight 100 soaking wet. I feel fat and ugly and

old. My husband's co-workers (he works in the field and at home but does

have an office for his occasional use in his company) are all young, pretty,

skinny, full of life and do not have RA and all the #% that goes along with

it. We went to a business dinner last week that I really didn't want to go

to and I wish I hadn't. My husband does nothing to come on to any of them

but he looks a lot younger than he is and everyone loves him. He just nice

to everyone. I felt like the old woman in the shoe. I had bought a nice

little pink and black pant suit, fixed up decently, but still felt ugly.

I'm good at small conversation but no one seemed to really care to want to

talk to me unless I started the conversation, then it was just answering me.

When we went to leave, my back was turned as he said goodbye to one of the

young lovelies and I turned around to say goodbye and she was blowing him a

kiss. She wrinkled her pert little nose and giggled. I wanted to smack

her. He told me that they all do that little kiss blowing thing when people

are leaving. I didn't see anyone else do that. It's been 18 years since I

worked in an office and back then that was would have been inappropriate.

He did it back. I didn't say anything until that night and then I let him

have it. I've mentioned it several more times tonight and he said he's sick

of hearing about it. He was going to the grocery store for me and was not

being very patient when I was trying to make my list. I blew him a kiss

goodbye and he got pissed. What is my problem? I trust him, it's not

that. I just feel that I don't fit in with that bunch and really do not

care to be around them at all. I used to work with 40 men in an office

(steel mill) and I don't think he was ever jealous. But, I never did what I

considered flirt with the men. I was more like the sister that gave them

advice for their wives, always took the wives side on anything they told me

and tried to give them a woman's perspective. Sorry this is so long, I

can't believe I'm like this.

>

> Becky

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for your words of advice. I guess I am doing the guilt thing

right now, I feel guilty for the way our lives are changing. I have to learn to

get over this. I was raised by a mother whose being revolved around making me

feel guilty, for what I don't know. She was not stable and I was an only child

to older parents and I suppose this 47 year old lady still is the guilty child

inside for anything and everything. Today is a new day and I'm trying to go on

with a different frame of mind. We're going for a two week (me only one)

vacation in Florida at the end of this month. Maybe it's what we all need, some

time apart, some time together, some time alone. Maybe this trip will refresh

us all. Thank you all again for being there for me.

Becky

[ ] Jealous

Becky dear, I just had to write you on this subject. What you are feeling is

normal when you are not visually the person you were. Try to remember, though,

you are still the same girl he chose to be with and I am sure it was not just

because the way you looked. Jealousy can be very destructive and your talking

about this incident can only upset you and annoy him. You have to remember that

times have changed and both sexes are more open about kissing and hugging

co-workers. I know my hubby felt uncomfortable and probably didn't;too have much

fun at my company events and how could he? When you work with people closely as

I did for 30 years, you do form a strong bond and I couldn't tell you how many

pictures I have of myself and my employees sharing a hug and a kiss. I also

travelled a lot and always with male employees but in the end, I always came

home to him.

You are feeling insecure and this happens when we are unhappy with who we are

now. Please drop the subject and don't bring it up again. These flirty young

girls are having fun and it means nothing to them but am sure it does wonders

for your hubby's ego and you can't fault him for that. Instead, try using a

little psychology and start with telling him about what you admire in him once

in a while.

Just a week ago I was having a conversation with a friend and I mentioned what

a wonderful husband Don is and how much he does for me. The following day Don

told me he was blown away by my saying this because he had never heard these

words come out of my mouth before.

Please, Becky, jealousy is an ugly thing, get it out of your vocabulary and go

back to being the same Becky you were because you are still the same person

inside and this is all that really counts.

Sorry to be so long winded but 52 yrs of marriage has taught me a few things

<VBG>

Hugs

June

[Guest guest]

Becky,

I'm thinking now that maybe I shouldn't have said that about those gurls

being a homewrecker. I'm sorry. I have no idea what's going on in their

heads. I just know what me and my friends were like during that time. I'm

glad that you two are going to work at this. That's the most important

thing. I hope that you will keep us posted on how the counseling is

fairing.

-.

Re: [ ] Jealous

> We talked tonight and he agreed that it was inappropriate. He said he

just didn't think because that's how most of them act there, also they are

all huggy too. He asked him I thought he was cheating on me and I told him

no but I'm not a ravishing thin beauty anymore and I don't know what he sees

in me. I suggested counseling, at least for me, and he said he would go but

doesn't know what that would change. He said he knows I'm sick and I get

grouchy and he gets aggravated at me but knows it's the way the disease can

go. He doesn't know what counseling will change, I have what I have. He

does things that probably a lot of husbands might not do around the house

but I do a lot of things that maybe wives wouldn't do also. I look at it

not as always 50/50 but sometimes it's 90/10, either direction. He thinks

I'm overreacting about everything and said I'm still the same person as

before, just sicker and heavier. I guess it's me, what's in my head. I'll

never go to any work function again and I did tell him that if I ever see

the tart again I will put her in her place. She would probably enjoy that,

though, knowing that she got to me. I'll do it in a way that will put her

down and not look like a jealous wife! I also suggested he read the book

" Odd Girl Out " that explains how girls/woman can be. My children's 8th

grade teacher (male) suggested all parents, boys and girls also, read this

book. He said at the tender age of 44 he had a real eye opening experience

in girls! Us girls can recognize things that men are completely oblivious

to! Thanks to all of you, I appreciate your perspective on this. Now I

have to start working on myself to get my head where it belongs.

>

> Becky

[Guest guest]

I agree, those girls are like that. She got real enjoyment in it and I would

never understand that. I know a wife was jealous of me when I was 18 and I am

clueless as to why. I never acted like those girls. This lady was very pretty

but I guess she was going through her own problems at the time that I didn't

realize. She was a beautician and I was going to have her do my hair. My

co-worker told me to absolutely not do that. I didn't know why but later she

told me! HEE! Can you imagine what she would have done with my hair!

Becky

Re: [ ] Jealous

> We talked tonight and he agreed that it was inappropriate. He said he

just didn't think because that's how most of them act there, also they are

all huggy too. He asked him I thought he was cheating on me and I told him

no but I'm not a ravishing thin beauty anymore and I don't know what he sees

in me. I suggested counseling, at least for me, and he said he would go but

doesn't know what that would change. He said he knows I'm sick and I get

grouchy and he gets aggravated at me but knows it's the way the disease can

go. He doesn't know what counseling will change, I have what I have. He

does things that probably a lot of husbands might not do around the house

but I do a lot of things that maybe wives wouldn't do also. I look at it

not as always 50/50 but sometimes it's 90/10, either direction. He thinks

I'm overreacting about everything and said I'm still the same person as

before, just sicker and heavier. I guess it's me, what's in my head. I'll

never go to any work function again and I did tell him that if I ever see

the tart again I will put her in her place. She would probably enjoy that,

though, knowing that she got to me. I'll do it in a way that will put her

down and not look like a jealous wife! I also suggested he read the book

" Odd Girl Out " that explains how girls/woman can be. My children's 8th

grade teacher (male) suggested all parents, boys and girls also, read this

book. He said at the tender age of 44 he had a real eye opening experience

in girls! Us girls can recognize things that men are completely oblivious

to! Thanks to all of you, I appreciate your perspective on this. Now I

have to start working on myself to get my head where it belongs.

>

> Becky

[Guest guest]

Becky,

I'm glad that you didn't let her do your hair. No telling what she would've

done to your hair ... you may not have a head today. Ha. All I'm saying is

that I didn't mean to hurt your feelings by saying what I said. I was

trying to help but when I read over what I told you, I wanted to kick myself

in the teeth. This illness is so life changing. I hope that you will cope

better with this illness. I know that I'm having a tough time myself. I

was crying to my mom earlier today. Tired of being sick. You know?

-.

Re: [ ] Jealous

> I agree, those girls are like that. She got real enjoyment in it and I

would never understand that. I know a wife was jealous of me when I was 18

and I am clueless as to why. I never acted like those girls. This lady was

very pretty but I guess she was going through her own problems at the time

that I didn't realize. She was a beautician and I was going to have her do

my hair. My co-worker told me to absolutely not do that. I didn't know why

but later she told me! HEE! Can you imagine what she would have done with

my hair!

>

> Becky

[Guest guest]

>

> HI!! I came here cuz I thought it was a myth that humans have bi-eyes

> and by looking at your photos I was surprised to see that also there

> are parti-eyes in people. I hope it is not offense to use the same

> terms we use for the dogs...I don't know if there are names to

> distinguish diff types of heterochromia in humans? Anyway, I looked

at

> your photos and was really amazed. You all have such BEAUTIFUL eyes,

> and I am SO jealous. I totally want eyes like that!

>

Hello,

I'm shocked that you have never seen anyone with (Parti-eyes). My eyes

are blue and brown, brown around the pupils and blue around the brown.

From a distance they look either brown, green or blue as it all

depends on the light.

[Guest guest]

> I'm shocked that you have never seen anyone with (Parti-eyes). My eyes

> are blue and brown, brown around the pupils and blue around the brown.

> From a distance they look either brown, green or blue as it all

> depends on the light.

No I've never seen a person with parti eyes! I also have those kinda

eyes that seem to change color with the light or what I'm wearing,

lotsa ppl have asked if I have contacts to change the color, lol. If

ya look real close they're a few different colors with a darker ring

on the outside and just appear to be a solid color from a distance.

Still not what I'd call a parti-eyes, but maybe I have too narrow a

definition of it