Don't know what to do here.

June 4, 2004

I was diagnosed first with Fibromyalgia 5 years ago. Last year after

a bone scan and some blood work the Rheumy diagnosed me Seronegative

(he left out saying Rheumatoid Arthritis). He doesn't tell me

anything really. I just lost 75lb. He wanted to put me on

Prednisone and after the nightmarish stories I've heard I really

can't afford to gain weight again and have food cravings. I have

problems with sugar and food in general. My knees can't bear to gain

that weight again either. I also am taking Topamax which threatens

vision and I have lost central vision in my right eye as it is due to

another degenertive disease I have PXE. I'm at the point were I

would love to have a cane but am too embarrassed...I'm 34 years old.

It would probably also put pressure on my shoulders anyway. Physical

therapy and Celebrex take the edge off but are not really helping. I

just got my review in the mail for my disability which I got based

more on depression. My psychiatrist thinks I'm doing just swell

because I'm not fat anymore he's a little nuts. I don't know if he

will fill out the forms for me properly this time around. On my

disability forms they mentioned that my problems were exacerbated by

my Fibromyalgia and partial vision loss. If they take this

disability away from me I

will end up on welfare basically. I am in a lot of pain and have not

figured out a way to stop it. I fear I will end up in a wheelchair

soon and sleep 24 hours a day until I die ...hopefully soon. I don't

know if my Orthopedist or Rheumotologist will fill out disbility

forms me either. I am young and attractive and this unfortunately

seems to be working against me right now. These people really don't

seem to beleive me. My freinds joke that one day the video cameras

are going to catch me and put me on the news. My shrink isn't of

much support either. I feel very alone and at this point today

terrified. Does anyone know if RA is a strong enough case in a

disability review? I am terrified and exhausted and in unbeleivable

pain every minute of every single day. The pain is invading every

single one of my joints. My Orhtopedist gave me Bextra today. Does

anyone know what that is? Scared of the future and

hating today. Any feedback would be appreciated thank you.

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