Re: I Finally FOUND ME!!

[Guest guest]

Greg, that's such fantastic news. I bet it felt really great to have

such a respsonse from you Psychyatrist! Good for you.

Trish

>

> Hey Everybody,

>

> I just wanted to share with you what happened yesterday to me and I

feel with every fiber of my being that I am soo Loveable, Likeable,

the shame is gone, the negative self-talk is gone, and I feel Powerful

like I have never felt before in my entire life!! I am me and I love

myself!!

>

> I had that session with my new psychiatrist and (thank you all for

your support and wisdom and reassurance) I felt this power come from

within rise up and I knew I could say exactly what the truth is

directly, without any whimsey. I handed him my " Major Life Events for

Greg " assignment, and he was blown away at the number of pages and

said, " This must have really hurt to rewrite this out? " I said the

truth, " No, it didn't. I've already worked through this stuff for 25

years. " I then said, " My seeing you is to establish a relationship

with a qualified psychiatrist established in case I need to have spot

therapy (decompensate), to have my prescription refilled, and to work

on gay dating in a goal oriented, short term amount of sessions. I do

not need psychotherapy. In fact, the psychiatrist that I just left in

Dallas, who I saw for 9 years, told me that I need to get out and

live; to take these tools and use them in real life relationships. Go

to therapy for med checks

> and if you need spot treatment, but get out and live, Greg. So,

Dr. ________, are we on the same page? What is my treatment plan for

the goal oriented therapy. " He told me and we launched right into it.

IT WAS GREAT. I learned so much. And at the end, he said, " Greg, I

don't normally talk this directly to my patients. " I told him " Please

do with me. I insist. If there is something that I think I can't

handle and you're being too direct, I'll let you know. But I also

think that a perceptive psychiatrist as you are would see that as

well. I expect you to be this direct in our sessions. "

>

> I walked out of there and had to walk a mile down the hill into the

busness district of downtown. My God, you guys, I was struttin' my

stuff. I couldn't help it and most of all, I saw absolutely no need

to. It was pouring rain even and this one lady who was sitting,

covered under an awning yelled to me, " You go, baby. You got it! "

Talk about angels talking through people. I walked through these

spots of very dense, strung out, drug addicts and looked them in the

eye and they looked away. I wasn't scared at all. I thought, if any

of you people even tries to hurt me or steal from me, you and I are

goin' to dance, and you ain't comin' up. I still feel it today. As I

told my doc that I had to get my mother out of my life to have one,

without fear, without shame, without guilt, without obligation. And I

feel God's love for me without any obstructions now. I feel my own

love for myself without any obstructions now. The world isn't this

scary place that I used to fear

> every day. There are dangers, but I am smart and can protect

myself. I am truly alive.

>

> Finally, I wanted to share that I had a conversation with myself and

God when I got home from the store. I was angry that NOT ONE of my

therapists, psyhologists, psychiatrist, etc., ever treated me as a KO

BPD. Had they done this, it would have saved me 5-7 years of hell and

about $22k a year in therapy expenses alone. For me, and I wonder if

it is the same for you guys, the insanity that we grew up in has a

special twist to it, as does the healing. Just like most people who

I've told my mother has BPD and they look at me like...What they

heck????????? The treatment needs to be different. Regular

psychotherapy doesn't work. In fact, it does damage. It left me for

years feeling that I was doomed forever b/c not even THERAPY was

working for me, nor the medications. Nadas and Fadas are toxic to the

soul, if not treated and respectful of boundaries that are set. Most

don't comply with boundaries, so I was always a prisoner as long as I

staying in contact. I am FREE!!!

> Today, I am taking it easy and enjoy the new me after this growth

spurt.

>

> Love,

>

> Greg.

>

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