natesmom/from cindi

[Guest guest]

HI BECKY,

MY NAME IS CINDI HEIN AND I CAN REALLY EMPATHIZE WITH YOU. I TOO

HAVE RA AND FIBRO AND HAVE GAINED ALOT OF WEIGHT IN 2 YEARS. MY

HUSBAND IS PRESIDENT ONE OF OUR STATE THINGS. I DON'T WANT TO

MENTION THE NAME. HE HAS NEVER, EVER DONE ANYTHING THAT WOULD MAKE

ME FEEL JEALOUS. BUT I USED TO RUN A TELEPHONE COMPANY DISPATH AND

WORKED SCHEMATICS WITH THE CABLE SPLICERS AND ALL OF THEM WERE LIKE

BIG BROTHERS TO ME. THEY DID COME FOR ADVICE AND A WOMANS

PERSCPECTIVE, THEY WERE FLIRTY TOO BUT, I NEVER CAN THINK OF ANY

OCCASION WHERE IT WOULD BE OKAY TO BE BLOWING KISSES.

STILL, I FEEL SO DIFFERENT NOW. I DO NOT WANT TO RUN INTO ANY OF THE

GUYS, I AM TOTALLY DISABLED AND CANNOT DRIVE OR DO MUCH AT ALL.

SOME OF THE GUYS KEEP IN TOUCH BUT I DON'T SEE THEM. MY HUSBANDS JOB

DEMANDS ALOT OF TRAVELING AND I DID WORK FOR HIM FOR THE LAST 5

YEARS BEFORE MY RA. NOW I FEEL LIKE OMAR TENT AND AWNING. I JUST DO

NOT FIT IN. EVERYONE HAS THEIR PHD'S AND I CAN BARELY WALK TO THE

BATHROOM OR GET OUT OF A CHAIR WITHOUT HELP. I FEEL LEFT OUT OF

EVERYONE'S CONVERSATIONS AND I SOMETIMES JUST DON'T CARE. I LOVE

BEING IN THIS GROUP BECAUSE WE ALL ARE EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING.

WE ARE LOSING OUR SENSE OF SELF - OF WHO WE ONCE WERE AND NEED TO

FIND OUT WHO WE ARE NOW. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. YOU ARE SPECIAL

AND HAVE VALUE AND ARE WONDERFUL, EVERY DAY NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL,

YOU ARE THESE THINGS AND YOU HAVE VALUE AND IF YOU FEEL THIS IS

SHINES THROUGH AND YOUR HUSBAND WILL NOTICE. LET GO OF THE KISS

THING. IT'S PETTY AND HE WILL JUST BECOME IRRITATED. THAT IS THE

LAST THING YOU NEED. DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR SELF, SPECIAL TO

FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF. THESE ARE THE THINGS HE'LL NOTICE. NONE

OF US WILL BE 21 AND A SIZE 6 AGAIN OR WEAR STILLETO HEELS. BUT WE

ARE SURVIVORS AND WE ALL HAVE LEARNED A DEPTH OF CHARACTER BECAUSE

OF OUR PAIN. LOVE YOUSELF, LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF AND DISCOVER WHO YOU

ARE NOW. IT IS A LONG JOURNEY AND I AM JUST STATING MINE TOO. SOME

DAYS I DON' EVEN KNOW WHAT MY HUSBAND SEES IN ME. WE ALL ARE GOING

THRU THIS. KEEP IN TOUCH, DO NOT GIVE UP. WRITE WHEN YOU NEED HELP.

SINCERELY

CINDI HEIN YOU CAN E-MAIL ME DIRECTLY IF YOU WANT TOO.

heinscsf@...