Re: Re: male infertility Toni

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing your perspective and wisdom, Pat. Your strategies for

coping are marvelous. I look to you as a model of strength.

Laughter is a part of my daily routine, though I can't say that my kids

always appreciate my sense of humor. They don't want to encourage me.

I don't see people here as unkind either, and I wholeheartedly agree

with your advice to those who feel slighted. Misunderstandings can and

do occur, but they can be resolved through calm reflection and

discussion.

Helpful, too, is a reminder that I give myself and children often: The

world doesn't revolve around you. Don't assume that you are the focus of

others' remarks.

And for those who still don't seem satisfied with the climate of the

group: you aren't being kept here against your will, no membership fees

will be lost. There are plenty of fish in the sea and it is in

your best interest to seek out a group with which you will feel

comfortable - or form your own. Your happiness and health are our

primary concern.

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

Re: [ ] Re: male infertility Toni

> Carole,

>

> I couldn't agree more, laughter gets me through some tough days. Of

course there is nothing funny about the way I walk but I always say 'I

walk like a toddler or a drunk' When we are faced with difficult

situations we have to do something and I would rather laugh than cry.

>

> When I got my wheelchair, I choose a bright purple chair 'candy

purple'. I told my doctor that I can either have fun with this by

getting my wild color chair or I can sit and cry about it. That was 3

years ago and I am still having fun with my wild chair - it takes me

places I could not go otherwise. I am sure glad I have not had to spend

the last 3 years crying about it.

>

> This is a large group but if anyone thinks there is any type of

unfriendliness here, they just need to read some of the other lists out

there. I have read some of the assistance dog lists which just floor

me - people are down right nasty to others and make intentional, cruel

remarks. I don't see that here.

>

> My advise to anyone who feels they are being attacked or made fun of,

stop and take a break from reading. When you are ready, go back and read

all posts under that thread and you will most likely see that you took

something out of context. This group is too kind and too caring to hurt

anyone intentionally and if there is something that is said

unintentionally, open polite questions can usually straighten things

out.

>

> a and are very protective of this list and if anyone on the

list is upsetting others intentionally, they will not be posting in the

future. When this list was started, it was started as a safe place where

you could share your fears, thoughts, dreams and laughter. We are all at

different stages of acceptance and many of us are dealing with more than

one issue in life. If you are hurting, this group will give you support

and compassion and if you are using laughter to deal with the hurts you

face, this group will laugh WITH you - but never will this group laugh

AT you.

>

> Pat

[Guest guest]

Good example, Carole, LOL.

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

[ ] Re: male infertility Toni

>

>

> Hi Rick - I for one find humour gets me through the day.

>

> When walking I can without warning stagger of sidewards. Quiet a

> few times, stepping out of Taxis, my legs have buckled and I have

> landed up in the gutter, or on the pavement.

>

> Normally I just grin, and say " Oh drunk again " !! By controlling the

> situation with humour, it makes me feel, I am in control of my life.

> Although of course inside, there are times, I feel like crying my

> eyes out!! Humour is my 'pressure value'.

>

> All the best - Carole

> ^^~~^^~~^^~~

[Guest guest]

Rick, I completely agree with your perspective on this issue. I'm sure

plenty of others do, too, but, the general nature of this group is very

non-confrontational - thus the loud silence.

I am not aware of any such " trend " that Toni referred to either, but,

obviously, we all don't have the very same point of view. And since I am

a " jokester, " I may be unduly biased.

Personal attacks and unjust accusations are uncalled for, as is trying

to make people feel bad for good-natured goofing off.

Please feel free to keep joking. We need more laughs around here.

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

RE: [ ] Re: male infertility Toni

> Toni,

> " It

> seems to be a trend that many here are finding offensive and in the

past

> week or

> so you are not the only person they seem to have made a joke out of "

> Can you recite what exactly that was said that was " making fun " of her

> situation?

> No, you can't. Perhaps the making fun of others isn't happening at

all,

> but some seem to make comments about themselves which were not meant

for

> nor directed toward them at all. If I choose to make fun or light of

my

> own situation of having to get a vasectomy because of having been on

> methotrexate previously and another chemo drug now as well as high

> doseages of steroids for a very long period of time, I certainly have

> the right to make light of MY OWN situation and others certainly have

> the right to respond to ME in kind. Others DO NOT have the right to

make

> unfounded accusations or to take comments I make about myself or

others

> make about themselves and make it about them. THAT is what is wrong

and

> possibly the " TREND " you supposedly have been seeing. If someone DID

in

> fact make a comment making fun of someone they surely have the right

to

> respond with a complaint, but that was not the case here at all. If

you

> need, I can post (copy/paste) exactly what was said and maybe you

> reading it a second time you would see the comments for what they are

> and not what you or anybody else made then to be. Don't misquote me!!

I

> TAKE GREAT offense to that!!!! Maybe no-one else here will say that,

But

> I will, and I did.

> I wouldn't dream of making fun or light of ANYONE in here or anywhwere

> with a disability, fertility problems or any other kind of problem.

Nor

> would I take a comment not even close to being about me and out of my

> own depression or other feelings make that comment about me and lash

> out. If I did, the only one I would have the right to lash out at is

ME

> for making the comment about MYSELF!!!@

>

> Rick

[Guest guest]

Amen!

Hugs

June

RE: [ ] Re: male infertility Toni

> Toni,

> " It

> seems to be a trend that many here are finding offensive and in the

past

> week or

> so you are not the only person they seem to have made a joke out of "

> Can you recite what exactly that was said that was " making fun " of her

> situation?

> No, you can't. Perhaps the making fun of others isn't happening at

all,

> but some seem to make comments about themselves which were not meant

for

> nor directed toward them at all. If I choose to make fun or light of

my

> own situation of having to get a vasectomy because of having been on

> methotrexate previously and another chemo drug now as well as high

> doseages of steroids for a very long period of time, I certainly have

> the right to make light of MY OWN situation and others certainly have

> the right to respond to ME in kind. Others DO NOT have the right to

make

> unfounded accusations or to take comments I make about myself or

others

> make about themselves and make it about them. THAT is what is wrong

and

> possibly the " TREND " you supposedly have been seeing. If someone DID

in

> fact make a comment making fun of someone they surely have the right

to

> respond with a complaint, but that was not the case here at all. If

you

> need, I can post (copy/paste) exactly what was said and maybe you

> reading it a second time you would see the comments for what they are

> and not what you or anybody else made then to be. Don't misquote me!!

I

> TAKE GREAT offense to that!!!! Maybe no-one else here will say that,

But

> I will, and I did.

> I wouldn't dream of making fun or light of ANYONE in here or anywhwere

> with a disability, fertility problems or any other kind of problem.

Nor

> would I take a comment not even close to being about me and out of my

> own depression or other feelings make that comment about me and lash

> out. If I did, the only one I would have the right to lash out at is

ME

> for making the comment about MYSELF!!!@

>

> Rick