Guest guest Posted June 28, 2004 Report Share Posted June 28, 2004 Toni, " It seems to be a trend that many here are finding offensive and in the past week or so you are not the only person they seem to have made a joke out of " Can you recite what exactly that was said that was " making fun " of her situation? No, you can't. Perhaps the making fun of others isn't happening at all, but some seem to make comments about themselves which were not meant for nor directed toward them at all. If I choose to make fun or light of my own situation of having to get a vasectomy because of having been on methotrexate previously and another chemo drug now as well as high doseages of steroids for a very long period of time, I certainly have the right to make light of MY OWN situation and others certainly have the right to respond to ME in kind. Others DO NOT have the right to make unfounded accusations or to take comments I make about myself or others make about themselves and make it about them. THAT is what is wrong and possibly the " TREND " you supposedly have been seeing. If someone DID in fact make a comment making fun of someone they surely have the right to respond with a complaint, but that was not the case here at all. If you need, I can post (copy/paste) exactly what was said and maybe you reading it a second time you would see the comments for what they are and not what you or anybody else made then to be. Don't misquote me!! I TAKE GREAT offense to that!!!! Maybe no-one else here will say that, But I will, and I did. I wouldn't dream of making fun or light of ANYONE in here or anywhwere with a disability, fertility problems or any other kind of problem. Nor would I take a comment not even close to being about me and out of my own depression or other feelings make that comment about me and lash out. If I did, the only one I would have the right to lash out at is ME for making the comment about MYSELF!!!@ Rick male infertility I am suprised so many of you find our problem so funny. Maybe you already have children. Dh got Ra when he was 26. Dh is in a horrible flare and he is starting Methotrexate for the first time. We cannot even try to start our family now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2004 Report Share Posted June 28, 2004 --- In , " Rick " <rhow176@c...> wrote: Hi Rick - I for one find humour gets me through the day. When walking I can without warning stagger of sidewards. Quiet a few times, stepping out of Taxis, my legs have buckled and I have landed up in the gutter, or on the pavement. Normally I just grin, and say " Oh drunk again " !! By controlling the situation with humour, it makes me feel, I am in control of my life. Although of course inside, there are times, I feel like crying my eyes out!! Humour is my 'pressure value'. All the best - Carole ^^~~^^~~^^~~ > Toni, > " It > seems to be a trend that many here are finding offensive and in the past > week or > so you are not the only person they seem to have made a joke out of " > Can you recite what exactly that was said that was " making fun " of her > situation? > No, you can't. Perhaps the making fun of others isn't happening at all, > but some seem to make comments about themselves which were not meant for > nor directed toward them at all. If I choose to make fun or light of my > own situation of having to get a vasectomy because of having been on > methotrexate previously and another chemo drug now as well as high > doseages of steroids for a very long period of time, I certainly have > the right to make light of MY OWN situation and others certainly have > the right to respond to ME in kind. Others DO NOT have the right to make > unfounded accusations or to take comments I make about myself or others > make about themselves and make it about them. THAT is what is wrong and > possibly the " TREND " you supposedly have been seeing. If someone DID in > fact make a comment making fun of someone they surely have the right to > respond with a complaint, but that was not the case here at all. If you > need, I can post (copy/paste) exactly what was said and maybe you > reading it a second time you would see the comments for what they are > and not what you or anybody else made then to be. Don't misquote me!! I > TAKE GREAT offense to that!!!! Maybe no-one else here will say that, But > I will, and I did. > I wouldn't dream of making fun or light of ANYONE in here or anywhwere > with a disability, fertility problems or any other kind of problem. Nor > would I take a comment not even close to being about me and out of my > own depression or other feelings make that comment about me and lash > out. If I did, the only one I would have the right to lash out at is ME > for making the comment about MYSELF!!!@ > > Rick > > male infertility > > I am suprised so many of you find our problem so funny. Maybe you > already have children. Dh got Ra when he was 26. Dh is in a horrible > flare and he is starting Methotrexate for the first time. We cannot > even try to start our family now. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2004 Report Share Posted June 28, 2004 Carole, I couldn't agree more, laughter gets me through some tough days. Of course there is nothing funny about the way I walk but I always say 'I walk like a toddler or a drunk' When we are faced with difficult situations we have to do something and I would rather laugh than cry. When I got my wheelchair, I choose a bright purple chair 'candy purple'. I told my doctor that I can either have fun with this by getting my wild color chair or I can sit and cry about it. That was 3 years ago and I am still having fun with my wild chair - it takes me places I could not go otherwise. I am sure glad I have not had to spend the last 3 years crying about it. This is a large group but if anyone thinks there is any type of unfriendliness here, they just need to read some of the other lists out there. I have read some of the assistance dog lists which just floor me - people are down right nasty to others and make intentional, cruel remarks. I don't see that here. My advise to anyone who feels they are being attacked or made fun of, stop and take a break from reading. When you are ready, go back and read all posts under that thread and you will most likely see that you took something out of context. This group is too kind and too caring to hurt anyone intentionally and if there is something that is said unintentionally, open polite questions can usually straighten things out. a and are very protective of this list and if anyone on the list is upsetting others intentionally, they will not be posting in the future. When this list was started, it was started as a safe place where you could share your fears, thoughts, dreams and laughter. We are all at different stages of acceptance and many of us are dealing with more than one issue in life. If you are hurting, this group will give you support and compassion and if you are using laughter to deal with the hurts you face, this group will laugh WITH you - but never will this group laugh AT you. Pat [ ] Re: male infertility Toni Hi Rick - I for one find humour gets me through the day. When walking I can without warning stagger of sidewards. Quiet a few times, stepping out of Taxis, my legs have buckled and I have landed up in the gutter, or on the pavement. Normally I just grin, and say " Oh drunk again " !! By controlling the situation with humour, it makes me feel, I am in control of my life. Although of course inside, there are times, I feel like crying my eyes out!! Humour is my 'pressure value'. All the best - Carole ^^~~^^~~^^~~ > Toni, > " It > seems to be a trend that many here are finding offensive and in the past > week or > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 > Carole, > > I couldn't agree more, laughter gets me through some tough days. Of course there is nothing funny about the way I walk but I always say 'I walk like a toddler or a drunk' When we are faced with difficult situations we have to do something and I would rather laugh than cry. > > When I got my wheelchair, I choose a bright purple chair 'candy purple'. I told my doctor that I can either have fun with this by getting my wild color chair or I can sit and cry about it. That was 3 years ago and I am still having fun with my wild chair - it takes me places I could not go otherwise. I am sure glad I have not had to spend the last 3 years crying about it. ********* Pat I would love to see your wild color wheel chair, I bet it brightens ups everybodies day, who sees it. Good for you!! Just recently, I had to buy a much smaller car, the pain was just to intense, driving the bigger models I always had. I really thought I was going to hate it, but no!! My new car is a Ford Kai, and I absolutely adore it, I suppose to some it looks like 'half a car' LOL (actually it does to me:)) But it is fun to drive, and I love. Of course, gone are the days of longer journeys, but what driving I do now, is less painful, and a lot more enjoyable. Carole ^^~~^^~~^^~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 If anyone has any doubts about what this group is about, I urge you to read the 2 attached emails from and Pat. Others here have also written great responses to what could have become a battle of words, with no one winning and feelings hurt. Many here aren¹t aware of the history of this group. Pat and I, along with another dear friend, were all on another support group. The group had constant disruptions with insensitive remarks and hurt feelings. So instead of staying where we weren¹t comfortable, we formed our own group. I believe it must be going on 6 years now, how time flies. Pat, an RN, was a wonderful moderator that has been away from us for way to long due to health reasons. I smile when I see a post from her. I have learned a lot from Pat. She has comforted me and taught me. When Pat could no longer participate we were blessed to have sign on as a moderator. I¹m not sure where this group would have gone without her. Just remember that the function of this group is to educate members about the various rheumatic diseases and give a safe place to talk to others with the same diseases. We have learned a lot from each other. This group has become very large yet there are members that have been with us since it was formed. I¹ve always said that our group attracts the nicest of people on the net because we have very few problems. We have many members that are very helpful to everyone, which makes the dynamics of this group very positive. I hope we can continue supporting each other in a positive way, and as Pat suggested, if you read something that upsets you, reread the entire conversation tomorrow and you may find that it may have been interpreted wrong. Email is wonderful, but it lacks tone of voice and facial expressions. Sometimes we write things intending one thing, it being written the wrong way. Also please remember that we are all in pain and on medications that may influence getting our ideas from our brain to our fingers With that said, I will try to catch up on email. We¹ve had some wicked lightning storms here every day and I have to unplug my computer so I don¹t fry it. a > Thanks for sharing your perspective and wisdom, Pat. Your strategies for > coping are marvelous. I look to you as a model of strength. > > Laughter is a part of my daily routine, though I can't say that my kids > always appreciate my sense of humor. They don't want to encourage me. > > I don't see people here as unkind either, and I wholeheartedly agree > with your advice to those who feel slighted. Misunderstandings can and > do occur, but they can be resolved through calm reflection and > discussion. > > Helpful, too, is a reminder that I give myself and children often: The > world doesn't revolve around you. Don't assume that you are the focus of > others' remarks. > > And for those who still don't seem satisfied with the climate of the > group: you aren't being kept here against your will, no membership fees > will be lost. There are plenty of fish in the sea and it is in > your best interest to seek out a group with which you will feel > comfortable - or form your own. Your happiness and health are our > primary concern. > > > > > I'll tell you where to go! > > Mayo Clinic in Rochester > http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester > > s Hopkins Medicine > http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org > > > Re: [ ] Re: male infertility Toni > > >> > Carole, >> > >> > I couldn't agree more, laughter gets me through some tough days. Of > course there is nothing funny about the way I walk but I always say 'I > walk like a toddler or a drunk' When we are faced with difficult > situations we have to do something and I would rather laugh than cry. >> > >> > When I got my wheelchair, I choose a bright purple chair 'candy > purple'. I told my doctor that I can either have fun with this by > getting my wild color chair or I can sit and cry about it. That was 3 > years ago and I am still having fun with my wild chair - it takes me > places I could not go otherwise. I am sure glad I have not had to spend > the last 3 years crying about it. >> > >> > This is a large group but if anyone thinks there is any type of > unfriendliness here, they just need to read some of the other lists out > there. I have read some of the assistance dog lists which just floor > me - people are down right nasty to others and make intentional, cruel > remarks. I don't see that here. >> > >> > My advise to anyone who feels they are being attacked or made fun of, > stop and take a break from reading. When you are ready, go back and read > all posts under that thread and you will most likely see that you took > something out of context. This group is too kind and too caring to hurt > anyone intentionally and if there is something that is said > unintentionally, open polite questions can usually straighten things > out. >> > >> > a and are very protective of this list and if anyone on the > list is upsetting others intentionally, they will not be posting in the > future. When this list was started, it was started as a safe place where > you could share your fears, thoughts, dreams and laughter. We are all at > different stages of acceptance and many of us are dealing with more than > one issue in life. If you are hurting, this group will give you support > and compassion and if you are using laughter to deal with the hurts you > face, this group will laugh WITH you - but never will this group laugh > AT you. >> > >> > Pat > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 In a message dated 29/06/2004 15:48:05 Central Standard Time, paula54@... writes: > We¹ve had some wicked > lightning storms here every day and I have to unplug my computer so I don¹t > fry it. > a > Geeez, a-hope you're staying off of the porch! Cary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.