to Shelley and pain, and how much to live with

June 23, 2004

I totally empathize with you , just about everything you said....one

doesn't know what to expect, how much pain we " should " live with and how much

complaining we can/should do to strike that right balance of getting the message

across to our signif. others that things are not " all right " but not be

constantly into it...wish I had some answers but maybe it might help to know

that others here are experiencing the same dilemmas, esp. in the

beginning....I'm a relative newbie here myself (and newbie to RA) and finding

myself alternately scared by what I read and encouraged...interesting mix!

Two of my friends want to plan a day trip in July, just a 2 hr drive up to

Eugene (OR) and back, to do some shopping (Trader Joe's!!) and " running " around,

eat lunch, etc. EAch of them has a busy schedule and needs to plan ahead; I am

not that busy as I work out of my home, on my computer, and can easily change my

schedule around. I don't even *have* a schedule! But I am anxious about planning

even a small trip like this, not knowing how I'll be feeling that day, and will

I slow them down, etc. One of them has Crohn's disease (sp?) and is very

understanding and the other is my best friend and a nurse. , the latter,

said " and we'll do all the driving so you can just relax " and that made me feel

ashamed and like a slacker or an invalid, even though she just wanted to be

supportive...oh me, oh my! Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

best,

Marilyn in North Bend, OR

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