Re: Re: Tired Today--Judi

[Guest guest]

Be prepared for the guilt routine from them. My mother always did that to me.

She knew I was very close to my dad and would tell me that he will die if I move

out, that he will have another stroke or heart attack and it will be my fault.

It was so awful, that is what kept me there. Actually, I think I stayed to

protect him from my mother.

Becky

[ ] Re: Tired Today--Judi

Judi, yes thankfully my mom's condition will improve. She had back

surgery so while it will take a while, she will get better.

Unfortunately I'm the only child so it's all on my shoulders. That

has been bothering me lately too as my parents are aging-how will I

ever take care of them when I may need care. I know I shouldn't be

worrying about these types of things until I need to but I guess I

get overwhelmed and start thinking of everything at once.

Your husband sounds wonderful. I think it's a man thing though-the

asking if they can help when you're already working. It just seems

to me that they just can't always think their way through the

obvious. LOL. I have a great boyfriend who is supportive, etc.

except that just in the things he says I get the impression that he

feels that if I just get out more I'll be able to do more. Again,

it's impossible to explain to someone who's never experienced RA, the

awful fatigue that goes with it.

I am leaning towards moving out. I'm going to make sure my mom is

fully on her feet first and then I'll start looking. I think it will

be better for my health and my peace of mind.

Darlene

> Hi There,

>

> I can sure see why you're tired too!

>

> Is your mom's condition permanent, or will she recover enough to

take

> care of herself? Sounds like your dad needs a good reality check.

> Do you have siblings that could help out?

>

> I think moving out on your own would be far better. Basically you

> are working THREE jobs--your paying job, caring for your parents,

and

> dealilng with RA. You are in overload, and that just can't go on.

>

> I have a very loving and caring husband, been married nearly 30

> years, but even he just doesn't have a clue sometimes. some days

his

> idea of helping is " is there anything I can do? " while I'm fixing

> dinner. Now he knows that he doesn't know how to cook, and the

limit

> of his housekeeping abilities is making the bed and vacuuming,

which

> he does do occasionally. The other night the cat hurled a

hairball,

> and Ron just said " uh, Judi, the cat hurled a hairball. " Mind you,

> I've still got a temp of around 99, feelilng awful, can't get down

on

> the floor, and my comment was, " and the silly cat won't clean up

> after himself? " I finally said " well, you know where the paper

> towels and rags are " and I went up to bed. next morning, the

> hairball was still there, so I cleaned it up. Doesn't mean he

loves

> me any less, just that he is blind, deaf, and paralyzed when it

comes

> to doing certain things. Let his golf clubs get a grass clipping

on

> them though, and he is outside in a flash with the soapy water!

>

> Do take care of yourself!

>

> Judi