Projecting messed up medical practices onto other people's families. . .

[Guest guest]

Hey guys! I had to log back on and post this because I was so shocked

about something I just realized. As many of you may know, I am living

with my in-laws part of the week now because of my job and it

originally freaked me out big time to live with anyone's family

(although DH's family is really sound and BPD-free) Anyway, DH's

family really triggered me yesterday over a discussion of DH's recent

injury and what he should and shouldn't do about it. But after I got

off the phone with my parents this evening, I realized I was really

reacting to my own family issues--not DH's family issues.

The thing that got me really upset was DH's family members giving him

advice about things that they really don't know anything about. I

know from experience that the MOST important thing is to see a doctor

and find out what's wrong with you BEFORE you start deciding not to

exercise or what meds to take or whether to go to a chiropractor etc.

Sorry, but to me, family members's opinions do not matter if they

are not part of the medical community. Anyway, I was really getting

pissed off and emotional about all the advice I kept hearing for my

husband--to the point where I felt like confronting my husband's

family on their lack of medical expertise! (I remained relatively

calm and just talked to DH later to make sure he wasn't planing on

actually acting on the " advice " we heard and would see a doctor).

But this evening talking to my parents was amazing because my dad

right now has a similar problem and my parents got into a fight while

I was on the phone over how he'd handle it. In our family there is a

history of really terrible and stupid medical decisions. Just imagine

the nada-logic at work with medical decisions about you. No wonder

this freaks me out. My nada has made some awefull decisions about my

medical treatment in the past--when I was a child--and now that I'm an

adult she still has a hard time dealing me disagreeing with her

medical beliefs (which are in total disregard to logic, science and

reality). Jeeze! Who needs crazy nada still trying to get her way

when it comes to your health?

So there's my trigger. I guess I just need to remind myself that in

healthy families, people may still like to give suggestions about

things they know nothing about, but that they will listen to reason

(hopefully) when it comes to doctors advice and they will respect your

decisions about medical treatment as an adult.

Thanks for listening,

Trish