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Re: Humor-Retirement Plan

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In a message dated 04/08/2004 18:56:38 Central Standard Time, Naimhe writes:

>

> >> For all of us who are 50 or older -- even those of you younger than 50

>> will appreciate the following:

>> No nursing home for me. I am checking into the Holiday Inn! With

>> the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there

>> is a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on

>> reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay

>> discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves

>> $138.77 a day for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I

>> want, or room service. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

>>

>> Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer,

>> dryer, etc., most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free

>> shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5

>> worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help

>> you. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. To

>> meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a ! change

>> of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice

>> restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.

>> Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

>>

>> It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will

>> take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place

>> forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

>> Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

>>

>> T.V. broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No

>> problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

>> The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid

>> checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or

>> an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the

>> hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your

>> life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be

>> glad to find you! , and probably check in for a few days

>> mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can

>> you ask for? So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin

>> Just forward all my email to: me @ Holiday.Inn

>>

>>

>

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