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I talked to Dad yesterday

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and the prognosis at this time isn't looking to good. He has had

the cancer for over 2 years the doctors said and he will be going on

radiation and possibly chemotherapy. They told him all the bad side

affects from the drugs and he is scared.

He can't remember what the doctor is saying - I suggested he get

them to write it all down for him so he could read it. I told him

to not to get depressed although that is a natural reaction to all

of this. That he has to stay positive and see what happens with the

medications first.

He wants to go home to Florida and I am in support of that because

he will be more comfortable but there is no family there at all. I

would be able to go there and visit him easier then NY though

because they have an extra bedroom.

He got all weepy on the phone because he wants to see me but

doesn't...

I am having a hard time coping with all of this and it makes me feel

so selfish. I can handle hurts to myself but not to my family.

Heck I have been dealing with pain every day for years now and not

crying on there shoulders or asking for sympathy.

He is looking at the glass and seeing it half empty at the moment

and I am hoping with time that he will adjust to this and start

seeing the glass half full again.

Thank you all for being here for me. I don't think I am going to

handle this one very well at all. Mom is strong and complaining all

the time. Dad was funny and this hurts to see him not laughing.

God bless,

Althea

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