Re: Re: Recommended article - Cassandra and Apollo (Maxine Aston)

[Guest guest]

I've waited for the dust to settle on this discussion, but I'd like to join Bill and others who've either expressed their misgivings or have had much longer dealings with the entire CADD thing. It seems as though Maxine, who I've known for years, has really fallen off the jitney with this one. She doesn't need to continuing controversy stirred up by this fanciful notion to buttress her good work as a couples counselor. Her first two books were good, as is her workbook, but continuing to nurse a "condition" made up entirely of whole cloth by someone who isn't a mental health research professional seemed a bit of a stretch when Maxine first came up with the notion, and then continued to repeat it herself and encourage its repetition by others. Mere frequent mention doesn't make a falsehood or a false notion any less questionable. The last time I checked, counselors with only master's degrees and no formal connections with serious research institutes or other mental health research professionals don't get to either name or coin conditions expecting them to enjoy common acceptance in their fields of practice.That's one of the intriguing dangers of the Internet. One mistakes the "number of hits for an item or an article" for truthfulness or validity, neither of which should be "voted on" by a gullible reading and posting public. Same goes, incidentally, for the entire L. Ron Hubbard thing. Regardless of what appears to make sense - and the video may have some redeeming features -- the organization that continues to crank along decades after its founder's death remains at the "fringe group" edge of thinking about good social conduct and human happiness. In order to get a more comprehensive picture, it might be helpful to be as diligent searching for informative third party material about Scientology on the Internet as some may have spent viewing a video made by its most enthusiastic supporters. N. Meyer Re: Re: Recommended article - "Cassandra and Apollo" (Maxine Aston) > >Becky Hall wrote: >> She looks to be pretty up on this. I am going to one of her >> Cassandra workshops next week. Can't wait, and sort of nervous about >> it! Will let you know how it goes. > >Oh, Becky! Please approach Aston and the whole CADD/"Cassandra" thing >with serious skepticism! > ...With an "open mind", of course, but do *be careful* - she and CADD >are nothing if not controversial. Do your homework, your "due >diligence" *before* you spend any money or effort! > >FWIW: personally, I don't "buy" any of it. That's based on a long >history with her and her ideas well *before* she acquired prominence >(and notoriety). > >- Bill AS, retired geneticist ...and very skeptical > >> >>> >>> Hi all...... >>> >>> "Cassandra Syndrome" has been brought up a fair amount here. As I >>> have been working on my GCA Wiki website for resources, I came >>> across this one article by Maxine Aston (noted author of "Aspergers >>> In Love" among other books she has written) which gives a great >>> explanation of what "Cassandra Syndrome" is. > [ snip ] > >-- >WD "Bill" Loughman - Berkeley, California USA >http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm > > >------------------------------------ > > "We each have our own way of living in the world, together we are like a symphony. >Some are the melody, some are the rhythm, some are the harmony >It all blends together, we are like a symphony, and each part is crucial. >We all contribute to the song of life." > ...Sondra > > We might not always agree; but TOGETHER we will make a difference. > > ASPIRES is a closed, confidential, moderated list. >Responsibility for posts to ASPIRES lies entirely with the original author. > Do NOT post mail off-list without the author's permission. > When in doubt, please refer to our list rules at: > http://www.aspires-relationships.com/info_rules.htm > ASPIRES ~ Climbing the mountain TOGETHER > http://www.aspires-relationships.com >

[Guest guest]

I've

waited for the dust to settle on this discussion, but I'd

like to join Bill and others who've either expressed their

misgivings or have had much longer dealings with the entire

CADD thing. It seems as though Maxine, who I've known for

years, has really fallen off the jitney with this one. She

doesn't need to continuing controversy stirred up by this

fanciful notion to buttress her good work as a couples

counselor. Her first two books were good, as is her

workbook, but continuing to nurse a "condition" made up

entirely of whole cloth by someone who isn't a mental

health research professional seemed a bit of a

stretch when Maxine first came up with the notion, and then

continued to repeat it herself and encourage its repetition

by others. Mere frequent mention doesn't make a falsehood or

a false notion any less questionable. The last time I

checked, counselors with only master's degrees and no formal

connections with serious research institutes or other mental

health research professionals don't get to either name or

coin conditions expecting them to enjoy common acceptance in

their fields of practice.

I think it's unfortunate that people refer to the Cassandra dynamic

as if it was a bonafide condition, alphabet-soup acronym and all.

Personally, I think of it as more of a behavioral phenomenon, one

among many predictable patterns that can impact couples in

relationships. 

Best,

~CJ

[Guest guest]

Agreed. I have always had (and expressed here often in the past) an issue with

the Cassandra " Phenomenon " , which I thought had been coined by Maxine Aston for

its benefits in marketing and name recognition. She seems to disclaim inventing

the term in the article; if that is true then I would say it is just someone's

unfortunate reference to a great Greek story. There is nothing unique to

Aspergers about being in a relationship where you experience depression and

other symptoms of isolation, or where the relationship changes you. That, to

me, is all that is being described. We certainly don't need attribution to

Greek gods to dress it up; I'm pretty sure it happens in almost every

relationship on the planet where there is dysfunction or serious incompatibility

of any sort. I am not saying that to minimize its impact or its hurt, simply to

point out that throwing the Cassandra label on it (which has not been used in

the context of anything but Aspergers relationships to my knowledge) is like the

tail wagging the dog. And the irony to me, is that it is probably the rare case

of the dysfunctional mixed neurological relationship where the " NT " female is

not " believed " about the difficulties she experiences in her relationship.

From being on this list for many years, not to mention 20 plus years as divorce

attorney, it seems equally if not more common that the female has family and

friends that not only believe there are issues in the relationship, but are

urging the female to leave the marriage or relationship with her partner. If

there is anything being disbelieved, it is often that there could be a) love of

that person in spite of their incompatibilities, and true desire, rather than

economic necessity or feelings of helplessness, causing the person to stay in

the marriage.

I could be wrong, but I also don't believe I've heard Aston or others use

" Cassandra " to refer to a male suffering from those alleged symptoms. If I am

correct it is all the more reason to believe that it is an agendized,

propogandistic term to give " NT " females a source of relief-inspiring

understanding about their " AS " male partners. (Use of quotes is my norm these

days as it bothers me that when a partner is diagnosed " AS " the other partner

who is having difficulties is automatically in many cases self-diagnosed as " NT "

just because they are so different from their partner. I don't think anyone has

yet created criteria to diagnose someone as " NT " and I personally believe that

many spouses of AS persons are undiagnosed AS.)

Anyway it reminds me that years ago I used to volunteer every other weekend for

an organization locally that helped domestic violence victims. Then one day I

came to understand that they did not believe men could ever be domestic violence

victims. They openly admitted, THEIR definition was that by virtue of historic

power imbalance in heterosexual relationships only women could be victims. I

think there's a little of that going on in calling something that is born of

isolation and depression in any relationship, by a clever name when it is

applied to particular ones.

No disrespect here is meant to those very intelligent persons on the list who

have a different opinion.

I feel, personally, that continued use of the term by people who are deigning to

write books on the subject. But then, I guess that wouldn't sell as many books.