- Laws of Physics as Applied to Cats

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Laws of Physics as Applied to Cats

1. Laws of Cat Magnetism: All Clothing attracts cat hair in direct

proportion to the degree of color difference between the cat hair and the fabric

color.

2. Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest unless

acted upon by some outside force such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby

scurrying mouse.

3. Laws of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep with people whenever

possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible

for the cat.

4. Laws of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional

to the length of the nap just taken.

5. Law of Cat Elongation: A cat can make its body long enough to reach

about any countertop which has anything remotely interesting on it.

6. Law of Rug Configuration: No rug may remain in its naturally flat state

if a cat is present.

7. Law of Cat Disinterest: A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse

proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

8. Law of Refrigerator Observation: If a cat watches a refrigerator long

enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

9. Law of Electric Blanket Attraction: Turn on an electric blanket and a

cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

10. Law of Bag/Box Occupancy: All bags and boxes in a given room must

contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

11. Law of Pill Replacement: Any pill given to a cat has the potential

energy to reach escape velocity.

12. Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is

directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

13. Law of Cat Probability (Cat’s Uncertainty Principle): It is not

possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where it

“might†be.

14. Law of Cat Invisibility: Cats think that if they can’t see you, then

you can’t see them.

15. Law of Selective Listening: Although a cat can hear a can of tuna

being opened a mile away, she can’t hear a simple command three feet away.

16. Law of Cat Obedience: As yet undiscovered.