Guest guest Posted December 8, 2004 Report Share Posted December 8, 2004 Greetings to you all!Thank you for the wonderful responses I've recieved from all of you!! **** You know, if you look at this RA thing from a different angle,there's a funny side to it:I mean, check it ouy, who else but US can go to the store, and walk like Tim Conway? The other day, I decided to wear shoes that tie, instead of slip on...far out, man, I bent over to tie them and was like the energizer bunny...I kept going and going and going...butt over teakettle,'till I landed on my head!Good thing, cause if I landed on anything else, I mighta got hurt! Did you know you can play basketball with a jar of pickles?Myself being Norweigian, I inherited all the stubborness they're known for, and I try to do as much by myself as I can..the other day, I was trying to open a jar of pickles, and it had a stuck lid.The jar slipped out of my hands,dribbled down the counter like a basketball,rebounded off the frying pan,did a bank shot off the tea kettle and low and behold...two points!!Right in the ol' basket(being the kitchen sink!)And to add insult to injury...the lid never DID come off!(do you think a two pound hammer might work?) I'm probably the only one accomplished enough in Asheville to get tangled in my own cane, and trip on it right in the middle of Eckards! My wheel chair is a LOT of fun! It's a power chair,and boy will this sucker honk!It's got a dial to adjust speed, and every now and then the dial gets turned up almost to the max..there MUST be a ghost in the house,I swear, I didn't do it, but the other day,I decided to wheel into the kitchen(dangerous place!)and felt like I was the star in a Whiley Coyote Cartoon!The arm caught the tablecloth,(naturally there was LOTS of stuff on the table!),pulled the darn thing off, and you'ld swear we lived in California,'cause it looked like a earthquake hit!But that's not all...I bounced off the refrigerator like a billiard ball,spilt a jug INSIDE the box, looked around at my wife, and she's jumping around on one foot,like a Florida stork, trying to cross the sand, to the beach,'cause I ran over her foot!She was NOT happy! I have this beard,'cause I wake up in the morning with hands that look like Lon Chaney's,and am too chicken to get a razor anywhere near my face,It makes meal time like a Happy Meal from Mcdonalds! All I'm lacking is the little toy that comes with it!Have you EVER tried to get spagettie out of a thick beard?You don't know what you're missing! Be glad!. My wife won't let me cut up my own steak anymore, after the last time, when the knife slipped put of my hand and almost played " Zorro " on her!Heck, my bird sees me sit at the table, and she runs! I live in a mobile home,and am glad because it's all one level(I may live in North Carolina, but NO, I DIDN'T marry my cousin,and I'm not sure it was a u.f.o. I saw, and I was only on the t.v.once describing what the tornado looked like!And I DON'T have a chevy up on blocks that the chickens live in, and there are no dogs living under my porch,and the grass under my refrigerator hasn't turned yellow yet! Anyway, to all of you people that have that there hemmoroid arthritus,ostrichporosis,and caddilacs in their eyes, I wish you well,care for you, and hope you all get to feeling better! Thank you for your support(no, I'm NOT related to Bartles and !), and any replies to this will be welcomed! I hope I lightened your day!Love, and God bless you.....squarehead ken __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2004 Report Share Posted December 8, 2004 Ken: You have me rolling on the floor laughing and you know how hard it is for us to get up off the floor........LOL.............and I am at work too. They are all wondering what the heck is going on. I love hearing from you and feel free to email me directly anytime you want or add me to your buddy list...............I am always online.........at work and at home. Pat in So. Ore. --- kenneth samuelsen <squarehead52@...> wrote: > > Greetings to you all!Thank you for the wonderful > responses I've recieved from all of you!! > **** You know, if you look at this RA thing from > a > different angle,there's a funny side to it:I mean, > check it ouy, who else but US can go to the store, > and > walk like Tim Conway? > The other day, I decided to wear shoes that tie, > instead of slip on...far out, man, I bent over to > tie > them and was like the energizer bunny...I kept going > and going and going...butt over teakettle,'till I > landed on my head!Good thing, cause if I landed on > anything else, I mighta got hurt! > Did you know you can play basketball with a jar > of > pickles?Myself being Norweigian, I inherited all the > stubborness they're known for, and I try to do as > much > by myself as I can..the other day, I was trying to > open a jar of pickles, and it had a stuck lid.The > jar > slipped out of my hands,dribbled down the counter > like > a basketball,rebounded off the frying pan,did a bank > shot off the tea kettle and low and behold...two > points!!Right in the ol' basket(being the kitchen > sink!)And to add insult to injury...the lid never > DID > come off!(do you think a two pound hammer might > work?) > I'm probably the only one accomplished enough in > Asheville to get tangled in my own cane, and trip on > it right in the middle of Eckards! > My wheel chair is a LOT of fun! It's a power > chair,and boy will this sucker honk!It's got a dial > to > adjust speed, and every now and then the dial gets > turned up almost to the max..there MUST be a ghost > in > the house,I swear, I didn't do it, but the other > day,I > decided to wheel into the kitchen(dangerous > place!)and > felt like I was the star in a Whiley Coyote > Cartoon!The arm caught the tablecloth,(naturally > there > was LOTS of stuff on the table!),pulled the darn > thing > off, and you'ld swear we lived in California,'cause > it looked like a earthquake hit!But that's not > all...I > bounced off the refrigerator like a billiard > ball,spilt a jug INSIDE the box, looked around at my > wife, and she's jumping around on one foot,like a > Florida stork, trying to cross the sand, to the > beach,'cause I ran over her foot!She was NOT happy! > I have this beard,'cause I wake up in the morning > with hands that look like Lon Chaney's,and am too > chicken to get a razor anywhere near my face,It > makes > meal time like a Happy Meal from Mcdonalds! All I'm > lacking is the little toy that comes with it!Have > you > EVER tried to get spagettie out of a thick beard?You > don't know what you're missing! Be glad!. > My wife won't let me cut up my own steak > anymore, > after the last time, when the knife slipped put of > my > hand and almost played " Zorro " on her!Heck, my bird > sees me sit at the table, and she runs! > I live in a mobile home,and am glad because it's > all one level(I may live in North Carolina, but NO, > I > DIDN'T marry my cousin,and I'm not sure it was a > u.f.o. I saw, and I was only on the t.v.once > describing what the tornado looked like!And I DON'T > have a chevy up on blocks that the chickens live in, > and there are no dogs living under my porch,and the > grass under my refrigerator hasn't turned yellow > yet! > Anyway, to all of you people that have that > there > hemmoroid arthritus,ostrichporosis,and caddilacs in > their eyes, I wish you well,care for you, and hope > you > all get to feeling better! > Thank you for your support(no, I'm NOT > related to Bartles and !), and any replies to > this will be welcomed! > I hope I lightened your day!Love, and God > bless you.....squarehead ken > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2004 Report Share Posted December 8, 2004 Ken: You have me rolling on the floor laughing and you know how hard it is for us to get up off the floor........LOL.............and I am at work too. They are all wondering what the heck is going on. I love hearing from you and feel free to email me directly anytime you want or add me to your buddy list...............I am always online.........at work and at home. Pat in So. Ore. --- kenneth samuelsen <squarehead52@...> wrote: > > Greetings to you all!Thank you for the wonderful > responses I've recieved from all of you!! > **** You know, if you look at this RA thing from > a > different angle,there's a funny side to it:I mean, > check it ouy, who else but US can go to the store, > and > walk like Tim Conway? > The other day, I decided to wear shoes that tie, > instead of slip on...far out, man, I bent over to > tie > them and was like the energizer bunny...I kept going > and going and going...butt over teakettle,'till I > landed on my head!Good thing, cause if I landed on > anything else, I mighta got hurt! > Did you know you can play basketball with a jar > of > pickles?Myself being Norweigian, I inherited all the > stubborness they're known for, and I try to do as > much > by myself as I can..the other day, I was trying to > open a jar of pickles, and it had a stuck lid.The > jar > slipped out of my hands,dribbled down the counter > like > a basketball,rebounded off the frying pan,did a bank > shot off the tea kettle and low and behold...two > points!!Right in the ol' basket(being the kitchen > sink!)And to add insult to injury...the lid never > DID > come off!(do you think a two pound hammer might > work?) > I'm probably the only one accomplished enough in > Asheville to get tangled in my own cane, and trip on > it right in the middle of Eckards! > My wheel chair is a LOT of fun! It's a power > chair,and boy will this sucker honk!It's got a dial > to > adjust speed, and every now and then the dial gets > turned up almost to the max..there MUST be a ghost > in > the house,I swear, I didn't do it, but the other > day,I > decided to wheel into the kitchen(dangerous > place!)and > felt like I was the star in a Whiley Coyote > Cartoon!The arm caught the tablecloth,(naturally > there > was LOTS of stuff on the table!),pulled the darn > thing > off, and you'ld swear we lived in California,'cause > it looked like a earthquake hit!But that's not > all...I > bounced off the refrigerator like a billiard > ball,spilt a jug INSIDE the box, looked around at my > wife, and she's jumping around on one foot,like a > Florida stork, trying to cross the sand, to the > beach,'cause I ran over her foot!She was NOT happy! > I have this beard,'cause I wake up in the morning > with hands that look like Lon Chaney's,and am too > chicken to get a razor anywhere near my face,It > makes > meal time like a Happy Meal from Mcdonalds! All I'm > lacking is the little toy that comes with it!Have > you > EVER tried to get spagettie out of a thick beard?You > don't know what you're missing! Be glad!. > My wife won't let me cut up my own steak > anymore, > after the last time, when the knife slipped put of > my > hand and almost played " Zorro " on her!Heck, my bird > sees me sit at the table, and she runs! > I live in a mobile home,and am glad because it's > all one level(I may live in North Carolina, but NO, > I > DIDN'T marry my cousin,and I'm not sure it was a > u.f.o. I saw, and I was only on the t.v.once > describing what the tornado looked like!And I DON'T > have a chevy up on blocks that the chickens live in, > and there are no dogs living under my porch,and the > grass under my refrigerator hasn't turned yellow > yet! > Anyway, to all of you people that have that > there > hemmoroid arthritus,ostrichporosis,and caddilacs in > their eyes, I wish you well,care for you, and hope > you > all get to feeling better! > Thank you for your support(no, I'm NOT > related to Bartles and !), and any replies to > this will be welcomed! > I hope I lightened your day!Love, and God > bless you.....squarehead ken > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Ken, Now that I've wiped the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard, and picked up the computer discs I sent flying as I tried to stay on the computer chair... You should take this act to Vegas! People think I'm strange because I laugh and joke, but it's better than being a constant complainer. I can sure relate to your story, as I decided to fix scrambled eggs and bagels this morning. One egg ended up on the floor, making the cat happy but frustrated (he refused to eat the shells, imagine!) The next egg made it to the pan AFTER I'd cracked it, but the 3rd one landed whole, skittered out of the pan and onto the marble countertop, and when I tried to grab it before it landed on top of the cat who was still picking his way around the shells, it slipped out of my hand and launched itself just as Ron was walking into the kitchen. He caught it (no easy feat for someone with Parkinson's) and gently cracked it into the pan. Yesterday I decided to vacuum the living room and dining room as we're having company Saturday, and first I got the cord wrapped around my feet and did a perfect swan dive into the couch. Then as I was carrying the vacuum back upstairs (we live in a tri-level) I lost my balance (either that or the vaccuum became possessed and tried to escape) and fell UP the stairs. Most people fall down, I have to fall up. Anyway, landed with both my forearms against the edge of the stairs so now have some nasty bruises on my arms, and my back feels like an old toothpaste tube. BUT I bowled last night, and because I had to go slower to accommodate my gimpy hips, and had to use my whole arm to get the ball out on the alley, I bowled a 482 series, my high this year (with a 181 game.) Darn hard to get sympathy when that happens. Thank you bunches for your humor and your wit, and please don't stop. I think Ahseville is beautiful and wish we could have stopped there as we drove to Charlotte to visit friends a few years ago. Judi, " bent and twisted in Indiana " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Ken, Now that I've wiped the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard, and picked up the computer discs I sent flying as I tried to stay on the computer chair... You should take this act to Vegas! People think I'm strange because I laugh and joke, but it's better than being a constant complainer. I can sure relate to your story, as I decided to fix scrambled eggs and bagels this morning. One egg ended up on the floor, making the cat happy but frustrated (he refused to eat the shells, imagine!) The next egg made it to the pan AFTER I'd cracked it, but the 3rd one landed whole, skittered out of the pan and onto the marble countertop, and when I tried to grab it before it landed on top of the cat who was still picking his way around the shells, it slipped out of my hand and launched itself just as Ron was walking into the kitchen. He caught it (no easy feat for someone with Parkinson's) and gently cracked it into the pan. Yesterday I decided to vacuum the living room and dining room as we're having company Saturday, and first I got the cord wrapped around my feet and did a perfect swan dive into the couch. Then as I was carrying the vacuum back upstairs (we live in a tri-level) I lost my balance (either that or the vaccuum became possessed and tried to escape) and fell UP the stairs. Most people fall down, I have to fall up. Anyway, landed with both my forearms against the edge of the stairs so now have some nasty bruises on my arms, and my back feels like an old toothpaste tube. BUT I bowled last night, and because I had to go slower to accommodate my gimpy hips, and had to use my whole arm to get the ball out on the alley, I bowled a 482 series, my high this year (with a 181 game.) Darn hard to get sympathy when that happens. Thank you bunches for your humor and your wit, and please don't stop. I think Ahseville is beautiful and wish we could have stopped there as we drove to Charlotte to visit friends a few years ago. Judi, " bent and twisted in Indiana " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Oh, my goodness! You're a DOUBLE threat- poetic AND funny too. Thanks for brightening my morning. Jane > > Greetings to you all!Thank you for the wonderful > responses I've recieved from all of you!! > **** You know, if you look at this RA thing from a > different angle,there's a funny side to it:I mean, > check it ouy, who else but US can go to the store, and > walk like Tim Conway? > The other day, I decided to wear shoes that tie, > instead of slip on...far out, man, I bent over to tie > them and was like the energizer bunny...I kept going > and going and going...butt over teakettle,'till I > landed on my head!Good thing, cause if I landed on > anything else, I mighta got hurt! > Did you know you can play basketball with a jar of > pickles?Myself being Norweigian, I inherited all the > stubborness they're known for, and I try to do as much > by myself as I can..the other day, I was trying to > open a jar of pickles, and it had a stuck lid.The jar > slipped out of my hands,dribbled down the counter like > a basketball,rebounded off the frying pan,did a bank > shot off the tea kettle and low and behold...two > points!!Right in the ol' basket(being the kitchen > sink!)And to add insult to injury...the lid never DID > come off!(do you think a two pound hammer might work?) > I'm probably the only one accomplished enough in > Asheville to get tangled in my own cane, and trip on > it right in the middle of Eckards! > My wheel chair is a LOT of fun! It's a power > chair,and boy will this sucker honk!It's got a dial to > adjust speed, and every now and then the dial gets > turned up almost to the max..there MUST be a ghost in > the house,I swear, I didn't do it, but the other day,I > decided to wheel into the kitchen(dangerous place!)and > felt like I was the star in a Whiley Coyote > Cartoon!The arm caught the tablecloth,(naturally there > was LOTS of stuff on the table!),pulled the darn thing > off, and you'ld swear we lived in California,'cause > it looked like a earthquake hit!But that's not all...I > bounced off the refrigerator like a billiard > ball,spilt a jug INSIDE the box, looked around at my > wife, and she's jumping around on one foot,like a > Florida stork, trying to cross the sand, to the > beach,'cause I ran over her foot!She was NOT happy! > I have this beard,'cause I wake up in the morning > with hands that look like Lon Chaney's,and am too > chicken to get a razor anywhere near my face,It makes > meal time like a Happy Meal from Mcdonalds! All I'm > lacking is the little toy that comes with it!Have you > EVER tried to get spagettie out of a thick beard?You > don't know what you're missing! Be glad!. > My wife won't let me cut up my own steak anymore, > after the last time, when the knife slipped put of my > hand and almost played " Zorro " on her!Heck, my bird > sees me sit at the table, and she runs! > I live in a mobile home,and am glad because it's > all one level(I may live in North Carolina, but NO, I > DIDN'T marry my cousin,and I'm not sure it was a > u.f.o. I saw, and I was only on the t.v.once > describing what the tornado looked like!And I DON'T > have a chevy up on blocks that the chickens live in, > and there are no dogs living under my porch,and the > grass under my refrigerator hasn't turned yellow yet! > Anyway, to all of you people that have that there > hemmoroid arthritus,ostrichporosis,and caddilacs in > their eyes, I wish you well,care for you, and hope you > all get to feeling better! > Thank you for your support(no, I'm NOT > related to Bartles and !), and any replies to > this will be welcomed! > I hope I lightened your day!Love, and God > bless you.....squarehead ken > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 You are wonderful! Thank you so much for inserting a little laughter into my day. Have a blessed day and be careful! Dalena JANE <janeatregis@...> wrote: Oh, my goodness! You're a DOUBLE threat- poetic AND funny too. Thanks for brightening my morning. Jane > > Greetings to you all!Thank you for the wonderful > responses I've recieved from all of you!! > **** You know, if you look at this RA thing from a > different angle,there's a funny side to it:I mean, > check it ouy, who else but US can go to the store, and > walk like Tim Conway? > The other day, I decided to wear shoes that tie, > instead of slip on...far out, man, I bent over to tie > them and was like the energizer bunny...I kept going > and going and going...butt over teakettle,'till I > landed on my head!Good thing, cause if I landed on > anything else, I mighta got hurt! > Did you know you can play basketball with a jar of > pickles?Myself being Norweigian, I inherited all the > stubborness they're known for, and I try to do as much > by myself as I can..the other day, I was trying to > open a jar of pickles, and it had a stuck lid.The jar > slipped out of my hands,dribbled down the counter like > a basketball,rebounded off the frying pan,did a bank > shot off the tea kettle and low and behold...two > points!!Right in the ol' basket(being the kitchen > sink!)And to add insult to injury...the lid never DID > come off!(do you think a two pound hammer might work?) > I'm probably the only one accomplished enough in > Asheville to get tangled in my own cane, and trip on > it right in the middle of Eckards! > My wheel chair is a LOT of fun! It's a power > chair,and boy will this sucker honk!It's got a dial to > adjust speed, and every now and then the dial gets > turned up almost to the max..there MUST be a ghost in > the house,I swear, I didn't do it, but the other day,I > decided to wheel into the kitchen(dangerous place!)and > felt like I was the star in a Whiley Coyote > Cartoon!The arm caught the tablecloth,(naturally there > was LOTS of stuff on the table!),pulled the darn thing > off, and you'ld swear we lived in California,'cause > it looked like a earthquake hit!But that's not all...I > bounced off the refrigerator like a billiard > ball,spilt a jug INSIDE the box, looked around at my > wife, and she's jumping around on one foot,like a > Florida stork, trying to cross the sand, to the > beach,'cause I ran over her foot!She was NOT happy! > I have this beard,'cause I wake up in the morning > with hands that look like Lon Chaney's,and am too > chicken to get a razor anywhere near my face,It makes > meal time like a Happy Meal from Mcdonalds! All I'm > lacking is the little toy that comes with it!Have you > EVER tried to get spagettie out of a thick beard?You > don't know what you're missing! Be glad!. > My wife won't let me cut up my own steak anymore, > after the last time, when the knife slipped put of my > hand and almost played " Zorro " on her!Heck, my bird > sees me sit at the table, and she runs! > I live in a mobile home,and am glad because it's > all one level(I may live in North Carolina, but NO, I > DIDN'T marry my cousin,and I'm not sure it was a > u.f.o. I saw, and I was only on the t.v.once > describing what the tornado looked like!And I DON'T > have a chevy up on blocks that the chickens live in, > and there are no dogs living under my porch,and the > grass under my refrigerator hasn't turned yellow yet! > Anyway, to all of you people that have that there > hemmoroid arthritus,ostrichporosis,and caddilacs in > their eyes, I wish you well,care for you, and hope you > all get to feeling better! > Thank you for your support(no, I'm NOT > related to Bartles and !), and any replies to > this will be welcomed! > I hope I lightened your day!Love, and God > bless you.....squarehead ken > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 You are wonderful! Thank you so much for inserting a little laughter into my day. Have a blessed day and be careful! Dalena JANE <janeatregis@...> wrote: Oh, my goodness! You're a DOUBLE threat- poetic AND funny too. Thanks for brightening my morning. Jane > > Greetings to you all!Thank you for the wonderful > responses I've recieved from all of you!! > **** You know, if you look at this RA thing from a > different angle,there's a funny side to it:I mean, > check it ouy, who else but US can go to the store, and > walk like Tim Conway? > The other day, I decided to wear shoes that tie, > instead of slip on...far out, man, I bent over to tie > them and was like the energizer bunny...I kept going > and going and going...butt over teakettle,'till I > landed on my head!Good thing, cause if I landed on > anything else, I mighta got hurt! > Did you know you can play basketball with a jar of > pickles?Myself being Norweigian, I inherited all the > stubborness they're known for, and I try to do as much > by myself as I can..the other day, I was trying to > open a jar of pickles, and it had a stuck lid.The jar > slipped out of my hands,dribbled down the counter like > a basketball,rebounded off the frying pan,did a bank > shot off the tea kettle and low and behold...two > points!!Right in the ol' basket(being the kitchen > sink!)And to add insult to injury...the lid never DID > come off!(do you think a two pound hammer might work?) > I'm probably the only one accomplished enough in > Asheville to get tangled in my own cane, and trip on > it right in the middle of Eckards! > My wheel chair is a LOT of fun! It's a power > chair,and boy will this sucker honk!It's got a dial to > adjust speed, and every now and then the dial gets > turned up almost to the max..there MUST be a ghost in > the house,I swear, I didn't do it, but the other day,I > decided to wheel into the kitchen(dangerous place!)and > felt like I was the star in a Whiley Coyote > Cartoon!The arm caught the tablecloth,(naturally there > was LOTS of stuff on the table!),pulled the darn thing > off, and you'ld swear we lived in California,'cause > it looked like a earthquake hit!But that's not all...I > bounced off the refrigerator like a billiard > ball,spilt a jug INSIDE the box, looked around at my > wife, and she's jumping around on one foot,like a > Florida stork, trying to cross the sand, to the > beach,'cause I ran over her foot!She was NOT happy! > I have this beard,'cause I wake up in the morning > with hands that look like Lon Chaney's,and am too > chicken to get a razor anywhere near my face,It makes > meal time like a Happy Meal from Mcdonalds! All I'm > lacking is the little toy that comes with it!Have you > EVER tried to get spagettie out of a thick beard?You > don't know what you're missing! Be glad!. > My wife won't let me cut up my own steak anymore, > after the last time, when the knife slipped put of my > hand and almost played " Zorro " on her!Heck, my bird > sees me sit at the table, and she runs! > I live in a mobile home,and am glad because it's > all one level(I may live in North Carolina, but NO, I > DIDN'T marry my cousin,and I'm not sure it was a > u.f.o. I saw, and I was only on the t.v.once > describing what the tornado looked like!And I DON'T > have a chevy up on blocks that the chickens live in, > and there are no dogs living under my porch,and the > grass under my refrigerator hasn't turned yellow yet! > Anyway, to all of you people that have that there > hemmoroid arthritus,ostrichporosis,and caddilacs in > their eyes, I wish you well,care for you, and hope you > all get to feeling better! > Thank you for your support(no, I'm NOT > related to Bartles and !), and any replies to > this will be welcomed! > I hope I lightened your day!Love, and God > bless you.....squarehead ken > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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