Guest guest Posted February 18, 2008 Report Share Posted February 18, 2008 I can associate with feeling secure and safe in a relationship - I find myself no longer in an intimate relationship with another person (whatever this means anyway - all made up stuff!). The illusion of feeling safer / more secure in a relationship vs on my own. So - my inquiry: " I need to be loved " Is that true? I thought so initially, but no, it's not true, certainly not right now - there's only me here :-) How do I react when I believe this thought? I try to do what I think will keep other people happy. I feel nervous around people when they don't seem to be very loving - as if I'm going to be attacked. I feel tense, anxious, needy :-) I mentally beat myself up for not being loved by others - I see myself as not good enough, failing to meet the standard required. I have lived my life moving from one intimate relationship to another, believing that's what I needed from someone else to be happy. More generally, I have tried to do what I think other people want, fearing that they will no longer love me if I don't meet their expectations. It's actually quite tiring, exhausting to keep trying to do this. My mind travels to " If they don't love me they will throw me out " , " if they don't love me they will make me do stuff I don't want to do " . I cannot find a single stress-free reason to keep this thought. Who would I be without this thought? Tired, letting go - no longer trying to meet the expectations of others (which I am making up anyway). Back in my own business - seeing that right now the most loving thing for me is more rest/sleep, not trying to keep pushing forward. Turnarounds: - I don't need to be loved (by others) I'm laughing because I realize I don't even know what this love thing is anyway! Right now I don't need to be loved by others - no-one else is here. - I need to be loved by me Yes, love however I am feeling at any point in time. And my thinking - loving whatever it is bringing at any point in time. - I don't need to be loved by me Yes, this is true as well - I don't always love myself and I'm still here, still alive, etc. I can see that it is all love, all 'God in disguise' - some of the most painful stuff is God really showing me where my stressful beliefs are, working me over so that I become cleaner, clearer. OK, that's it, With love, Jon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 2008 Report Share Posted February 18, 2008 Jon, I love how you go in for the love of truth ! xxpipxx > I can associate with feeling secure and safe in a relationship - I > find myself no longer in an intimate relationship with another person > (whatever this means anyway - all made up stuff!). > > The illusion of feeling safer / more secure in a relationship vs on my > own. > > So - my inquiry: > > " I need to be loved " > > Is that true? > > I thought so initially, but no, it's not true, certainly not right now > - there's only me here :-) > > How do I react when I believe this thought? > > I try to do what I think will keep other people happy. I feel nervous > around people when they don't seem to be very loving - as if I'm going > to be attacked. > > I feel tense, anxious, needy :-) > > I mentally beat myself up for not being loved by others - I see myself > as not good enough, failing to meet the standard required. > > I have lived my life moving from one intimate relationship to another, > believing that's what I needed from someone else to be happy. > > More generally, I have tried to do what I think other people want, > fearing that they will no longer love me if I don't meet their > expectations. > > It's actually quite tiring, exhausting to keep trying to do this. > > My mind travels to " If they don't love me they will throw me out " , " if > they don't love me they will make me do stuff I don't want to do " . > > I cannot find a single stress-free reason to keep this thought. > > > Who would I be without this thought? > > Tired, letting go - no longer trying to meet the expectations of > others (which I am making up anyway). > > Back in my own business - seeing that right now the most loving thing > for me is more rest/sleep, not trying to keep pushing forward. > > Turnarounds: > > - I don't need to be loved (by others) > I'm laughing because I realize I don't even know what this love thing > is anyway! > > Right now I don't need to be loved by others - no-one else is here. > > - I need to be loved by me > Yes, love however I am feeling at any point in time. And my thinking > - loving whatever it is bringing at any point in time. > > - I don't need to be loved by me > Yes, this is true as well - I don't always love myself and I'm still > here, still alive, etc. > > I can see that it is all love, all 'God in disguise' - some of the > most painful stuff is God really showing me where my stressful beliefs > are, working me over so that I become cleaner, clearer. > > > OK, that's it, > > With love, > > Jon > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 2008 Report Share Posted February 18, 2008 Thanks Pip - and writing that stuff about being in an intimate relationship reminded me that the only relaitonship I am ever in is with my thoughts and beliefs :-) And here's a short quote from Byron in " Question Your Thinking, Change The World " : " It's not your job to like me - it's mine. " With love, Jon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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